Marc's Digression: Surgeon General's Warning: Salinger May Be Hazardous to Your Health

first ran 9/2/99

(note: While doing my Vonnegut piece a few weeks later, I discovered I had unintentionally "borrowed" a line from one of the essays contained in Palm Sunday. That line is the first sentence of this piece, which was written several months before it actually ran. This discovery makes me wonder how much of my stuff is my own and how much is a collage of other's works, but to paraphrase William Faulkner, the difference between a good writer and a great writer is that the former steals and the latter conceals his thefts. I, on the other hand, confess, which makes me mediocre.)

Perhaps peer pressure, the most powerful force in the universe, contributed to my pack-a-day habit. But I think the greatest contributing factor to my obsession with cigarettes is the nicotine-stained prose of J.D. Salinger.
I was 14 when I first read The Catcher in the Rye and like every teenager who reads it, I developed a strong bond to Holden Caulfield, the damaged, self-centered narrator who slowly unravels before the reader's eyes. Holden denounced phonies and hypocrites, feared his sexuality and mortality, pretended to be things he was not, mourned his passing innocence and felt sorry for himself.
So did I.
Holden also did things I did not do. He rebelled against adult society with impunity--there were few adults in the novel to wash out his mouth with soap or send him to his room. For three days, Holden made his own moral universe and I lived vicariously through him, envying his brazen autonomy.
Holden was also a prodigious smoker. I was not.
In addition to Catcher, Salinger wrote a series of stories about the Glass family, which I began reading after I finished with Holden. Not only were the members of the Glass family smarter and more interesting than Holden, not only were they more damaged, but each member smoked more than Holden. Just as I had identified with Holden's angst pose, so too did I identify with the way the members of the Glass family attempted to find spiritual and meaningful purpose to their lives. Like Franny Glass or Buddy Glass, I was a spiritual amputee.
Unlike them, I did not smoke.
Fast-forward to my 16th year. The year of independent mobility. One weekend I decided to play at Thoreau--I rented a cabin near the Tennessee River, packed some clothes and my four Salinger books. I stole a bottle of whiskey from my parents, purchased Camel Filters from a minor-friendly convenience store. I was thus prepared for a secluded weekend in the woods, where I intended to discover either myself or a diversionary vice. Or, at least, a new diversionary vice.
By 16, I had outgrown Salinger. Like Sartre, Salinger used his stories to promote a larger philosophy. While Sartre's philosophies were rooted in adult experiences and adult perceptions, Salinger's were rooted in the experiences of childhood, and I no longer desired to glean meaning from childhood--I was an adult, dammit, and I wanted adult perceptions. Or so I thought, but as I said, I packed books by Salinger for my weekend excursion, and not books by Sartre or Nietzsche or even Harold Robbins. I was still imitating Holden Caulfield, denouncing the hypocrites and failing to realize I was the biggest hypocrite of all.
My first night in the cabin, which was more of a free-standing Holiday Inn suite than a bucolic shelter, I curled up in a recliner and sipped whiskey mixed with Pepsi as I thumbed through the four volumes of Salinger's works, randomly selecting paragraphs. And virtually every paragraph contained references to smoking. Seymour lit a cigarette as he lounged on the beach or his wife snuffed one out as she sat in the hotel room. Zooey soaked in the tub with a cigarette balanced on the rim beside him. Franny recited a desperate prayer, longing for insight into the meaning of her life and pausing only long enough to take a drag off her smoke. Holden, alone and horny in a hotel room in New York, hot-boxed a cigarette while thinking about prostitutes.
Smoking can be an allegory. It is not always about peer acceptance. Smoking is public masturbation, is connection, is admission of mortality. Smoking is as American as McDonald's or Larry Flynt. It is a New World indulgence, healing the soul while polluting the body, the original American sin. In Salinger, smoking is a mantra.
Salinger's works are almost as intensely religious as The Pilgrim's Progress or the poetry of Basho. Perhaps not so much Catcher as the Glass stories, although Holden's unanswered question, "Where do the ducks in Central Park go for the winter?" echoes Jesus' unanswered question, "My God, why have You forsaken Me?" (And both questions, I notice now, sound like a set-up line in a vaudeville act.) Both questions come from a desperate need to know what is beyond mortality. But while Holden's inquiry haunts most of Catcher, there are no such spectres in the Glass stories. Catcher is about the Judeo-Christian soul in particular while the Glass stories deal more generally with Eastern ideas transplanted into Western lives. The Glass stories are not about an abstract beyond but about the universal soul, the pulse beneath the surface of everything.
And smoking.
I finished off half the bottle of whiskey and the words on the pages began to swirl. I thought about the disintegration of my beliefs, which had begun when I was 13, perhaps even sooner. I thought about the soul of the Old Testament--Holden's soul, my soul. The American soul. Since I could no longer see the words, I dropped the books and stumbled over to my duffel bag. I found the pack of Camels, opened them, tapped out a cigarette.
I had forgotten a lighter so stood, swaying, over an oven eye. The kitchen was dismally dark and I waited in the pressing darkness with one hand on the counter to steady myself and the Camel pressed expectantly between my lips. Gradually, like a rising sun, the eye began to glow. I leaned forward, touched the end of the cigarette to it. I inhaled deeply, waiting for the smoke, the connection, the transcendence, to travel through me.
After that moment, with the heat against my face and the whole room a surreal orange, I rushed to the sink and threw up. Becoming a smoker required patience and dedication, a faithful devotion. It was Sunday before I was able to complete an entire cigarette without feeling nauseated. 1