Writings

Alice's Continuing Adventures in the Underground World of Undergroundness
Adapted by: Len Clark

"Now, that's what I call a 'straight flush'", said Alice after having narrowly escaped the "Deadly Deck". "Now, which way to go, that's the question." She looked around, but seeing as how she was hopelessly lost anyway, it didn't make a damned difference which way she went.

She had barely taken a step when she came upon a tie-dyed room filled with a purple haze. At the far end of the room, which seemed to be miles away, were two huge amplifiers. As she moved closer, she noticed a beetle with a mop-top haircut, wearing a motorcycle jacket and a Fender Stratocaster slung over his shoulder.

"Excuse me, sir.", said Alice, most politely, "but have you seen a white rabbit?"

"Maybe I seen a white rabbit. Whadzit to ya?", the beetle answered, sounding very much like James Dean, or else a very young Marlon Brando. "Whadda ya want widda rabbit, anyways?", he continued.

"Well, I'm not sure, I think..."

"If you don't know, then why are you followin' him? Quit bodderin' him, and for god's sake quit bodderin' me!", he interrupted.

"What I was going to say, man," said Alice, getting used to his strange lingo now, "is that I'm tryin' to figure out where the cat's at."

"Cuckoo, man. Ok, I dig your scene. I think I can help you's out. Just go dat way. And here, take dis, you might need it."

As he was sayin' dis... I mean, saying this, he threw a small object toward Alice. She caught it and hurriedly continued in the direction the strange beetle had shown her as a last, lonely guitar riff wailed off in the distance.

As she walked down the path, happy to get away from that strange beetle and his unusual speech, she looked down and what he had thrown to her. It looked like a guitar pick, only it was made of chocolate. "What will this one do?", she wondered. "Will it make me small, tall, or what? Well, I guess there's no other way to find out." With that, the popped the entire thing into her mouth. For a second, nothing happened. "This is most curious", she remarked. Then suddenly. the purple haze that had surrounded the beetle filled her head. She fell dizzily into a deep state of unconsciousness. The last thing she thought, before the darkness took her, was that she would never see her beloved Dinah, or anything else... again

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Last Updated: July 13, 2003 9:12 PM

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