Culture :: Interviews
THE BLACK ARCHITECTS
August 08, 1998 |
| Sam, Tim, Nick and Ron |
BAZOOKA JOE: Do you like stuff?
TIM: I...do.
NICK: My name is Nick, I'm really heavily influenced by Simple Minds and Third Bass.
BAZOOKA JOE: Well, I didn't want to belabor the obvious. So this show has been nine months in the making, or something like that, way back in November--
NICK: You know, it was conceived and then it was brought to us and then it went through it's incubation period. And then, and then it was created. And in the process it was destroyed and then brought together again.
TIM: Right, because we started out as a band with a nice name and then we broke up and we became a band with a very naughty name. Arianne Nation.
RON: You liar!
TIM: And then we killed the singer and we became...we decided to lose all talent and become what we are now.
RON: That's not true!
TIM: What has it been?
RON: Why don't you tell the truth?!
NICK: IT IS SOMETHING! YOU WANT SOMETHING! I GIVE YOU NOTHING! Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know if you know this but our guitar player is actually Klaus Nomi's illegitimate son.
TIM: But did you know that Klaus Nomi was into..."Dinge"?
NICK: Oh, my god.
RON: I like Tim's green shirt. It has sweat on it now.
TIM: That's Ron and that's Sam, who doesn't talk because he's mute.
NICK: Sam, say sitar.
NICK: Sitar.
NICK: All right, there we go. Thank you, thank you.
RON: Sitari!
TIM: You're listening to WMFO, Medford, Massachusetts--
NICK: Atari Teenage Riot! Alan Alda!
TIM: We would like to tell you that Alan Alda , Alan Alda is--
NICK: Alan Alda was the third bass player for Saga.
TIM: Hey, if anybody would like to hear some Saga tracks call us up at the, ah, what is the number here?
BAZOOKA JOE: 627-3800. But actually I was hoping to hear some Journey.
TIM: Pat Metheny. Pat Metheney and Triumph live. At Club 3.
NICK: Everybody, give us a call. We wanna know the most bizarre show you've seen. I think the one that comes to my mind was I saw OMD and Powerstation. It was truly a night to remember. OMD and Powerstation and then I saw Nightranger...and Starship.
BAZOOKA JOE: Wow!
NICK: I saw, and this is not a joke, all in the same night; Journey, Chris Isaack, John Fogerty and Bourgeois Tag.
RON: You saw Eddy Money!
TIM: I saw Eddy Money, he was on the same bill. At the San Francisco BAMMY Awards. And Bazooka Joe, he himself at Club 3 one night saw Eddy Money, and the Hydrogen Terrors, and Peter Prescott naked.
BAZOOKA JOE: That was a show!
TIM: It was called the "Razor Show".
BAZOOKA JOE: Let me tell you what I admit to seeing. I've seen Vanilla Ice.
NICK: NO!!!
BAZOOKA JOE: Yes, it's true.
NICK: OFF THE AIR!!! MAN, FORGET THIS!!! I'M LEAVING THE STATION!!! WHY DID WE COME HERE?!? MORGAN PLAYS WITH PAT METHENEY AND HE'S SEEN VANILLA ICE!!!
TIM: It's all right.
NICK: I'M GOING BACK TO COLLEGE!
TIM: You know, I bought a Neubauten record wearing an AC/DC shirt, okay?
NICK: Yeah, tell that story!
TIM: I went to Newbury Comics on Newbury Street and I bought a Neubauten record wearing an AC/DC shirt and the woman looked at me, she stood back and said "Do you know what this sounds like?" So I stood back, and gave her a long glare, and said "Fuck you!"
BAZOOKA JOE: Yeah!
RON: WHOOOH!!!
SAM: No!
NICK: Yes.
TIM: Yeah, I did.
NICK: Yes, and you said "Gee, I didn't think you liked black people."
TIM: Oh, yeah.
BAZOOKA JOE: What happened to Arianne Nation?
NICK: We disbanded.
TIM: Yeah, because we were offensive.
RON: We went and put National Alliance stickers in Harvard Square.
TIM: Actually, what happened was that Ron was dressing up in the K.K.K. uniform and hanging out in front of the N.C.A.A.P..
BAZOOKA JOE: He still does that?
TIM: No, just the days he feels suicidal.
NICK: And for those who you don't know, we did a tour of Trinidad.
RON: And Tobago.
NICK: And Tobago.
SAM: And St. Maartens.
TIM: Are we in Medford?
NICK: Yes, we are.
TIM: Do you pronounce it "Medford" or "Medfhad"?
BAZOOKA JOE: "Medfhad".
TIM: "Medfhad". Okay. Alright.
NICK: But Joe's dark...
RON: Uh, yeah.
BAZOOKA JOE: Say what?
RON: What's dark?
NICK: You played Revere Beach.
TIM: That's right, I did.
NICK: Maybe you should talk about that.
TIM: I don't want to talk about that.
BAZOOKA JOE: Why can't we talk about it?
RON: The public wants to know!
TIM: I was in a band called A.C..
NICK: Called Canine Rump.
BAZOOKA JOE: A.C.?
TIM: Yeah, you know the band--
BAZOOKA JOE: Anal?
TIM: Cunt, yeah.
BAZOOKA JOE: That one? Yeah, baby!
TIM: I was the original member of Anal Cunt.
NICK: You did the video.
TIM: I did the video.
BAZOOKA JOE: What video?
TIM: We did a home video. It was called "We are the most fattest and annoying band you could ever possibly imagine." [picks up album ] My god, it's Jeff Buckley!
NICK: He's dead.
TIM: Well, let's talk about him. Let's talk about the Buckley family.
NICK: I want to go for a swim!
TIM: Okay, we can do that.
NICK: This is back in history. It's 1975, we're back stage in the Troubadour in L.A.. Tim Morris stars as Tim Buckley.
TIM: "Wha?"
NICK: Nick Blakey stars as the anonymous drug dealer. "Hey, Tim?!"
TIM: "Yeah?"
NICK: "Ya want some coke?"
TIM: "Yeah, sure." [snort] "Ugh!!!" [thud]
NICK: "Did I bother to mention that was pure heroin?" Twenty years later Tim Morris stars as Jeff Buckley, I star as the anonymous friend.
TIM: "Huh? Wha?"
NICK: "Wow. Hey, uh, the river's kind of high tonight, Jeff."
TIM: "Man, I'm goin' for a swim! I've been drinking all day, man. That barge looks good. I'm going to jump on it!"
NICK: "I don't know, Jeff. Tom Verlaine's coming back--"
TIM: "Oh, man! I'm going for a swim, buddy. I'll be back later." [motor boat sounds] [thud]
NICK: God, you know, such tragedy. Why don't these sort of things happen to Cherry 2000?
TIM: Has anybody ever heard--
NICK: Half-Cocked.
TIM: Right.
BAZOOKA JOE: What?
TIM: You know, I played last night with Roadsaw and all I gotta ask you is what the hell are they doing?
BAZOOKA JOE: What do you mean?
NICK: Tim Katz, come home. Please! All is forgiven.
BAZOOKA JOE: You don't like Roadsaw?
TIM: You see, I have this thing about bands that want to be like bands that are already around.
BAZOOKA JOE: I see.
NICK: If anybody has some acid please come by the studio.
BAZOOKA JOE: But you know what, you guys sort of have that Sonic Youth/Chrome/Hullabaloo thing going on.
NICK: OH!
TIM: Hullabaloo?! Hullabaloo?!
NICK: Hey, man, if you like Hullabaloo you'll love Neptune. But they broke up.
BAZOOKA JOE: I love Hullabaloo!
TIM: I saw Hullabaloo back in 1988 and they were awesome. And they've got that guy who's fat in the band.
BAZOOKA JOE: Who was drunk off his ass!
TIM: Man, we ought to get Slaughter Shack back together! Remember those fucking guys?
BAZOOKA JOE: Oh yeah! Where is Dana Ong these days? You talk, I'm going to get some liquid refreshments.
TIM: You're getting a beer. C'mon, who's listening to this anyway?
 |
| Aaron |
AARON: You guys have been a band for nine months now?
SAM: Good god, no. We've been a band since 1995.
AARON: What's your deal? You play in a band. What else do you do?
TIM: I'm into ethnic cleansing.
NICK: I'm a butcher.
AARON: You're a butcher? And you?
TIM: I'm an ethnic cleanser.
AARON: And this gentleman here?
RON: I work in a warehouse somewhere.
SAM: He also drives a Studebaker which is very interesting because the guy has built it up from a fuckin' tire, man!
NICK: It smells like ass. He bought it in Trinidad. From his aunt.
SAM: Oh, my god.
 |
| Nick, Ron and Tim |
SAM: So what you're saying is you masturbate.
NICK: Not currently, no. The last time I masturbated the lease ran out on my dick.
