K-bags, Anyone?

This story is true. Names have been changed to protect the privacy of those concerned.

Hi Manny,

as part of my therapy let me give you an account of how and how not to
approach your fifties. pass this on and whatever else will follow to those
who can bear the ramblings of a forty-niner on a two-three week forced
leave. i'll give you douses of sentimiento, heroism, religion, medicine,
humility, wisdom, understanding, compassion and siempre naman lots of humor.
before going any further, thank you Boo for the title of this piece, i
promise this is going to be a long one. my forty-ninth birthday

now i regret not celebrating my forty-ninth birthday. i felt that people
were demanding too much of me that celebrating my birthday would make them
demand some more. baaaad feeling. so, two thursdays ago, jan 7, i woke up at
2am with a big K-bag in my stomach. i tried oh so many things -- lie flat on
my stomach, go to the cr,drink hot tea, apply hot water bag -- but the big
K-bag just wouldn't go. by 4 am the entire household was awake and mommy, my
mother-in-law, decided to call the family doctor, our very own joe reyes
brother of bobby who has a bmw and husband of the former reta tan cousin of
my wife clem and eric ines, do you follow me. dr. joe orders me brought to
the er at the UERM, where he is head of surgery, he would advise the
resident doctor to expect me. i told one and all to cool it and allow me to
reeelax because i was not going to allow anybody to make me take a first
time at an er of any hospital. just to get the hilot who did mommy last
night to apply aceite de manzanilla and knead my airful stomach and back. no
relief. i took cremalin. still no relief.

not a heart attack

finally, at 9am i call my doctor-brod, a cardiologist, and describe to him
my K-bag. he insists that i see him pronto at his mcm clinic across nbi and
what used to be our old UP Prep, a good hour's traffic from our place in san
juan. doctor-brod administers an ecg test on me and promptly announces, it's
not my heart. thank God! he feels my stomach for any pain but all i could
complain of was my K-bag(para walang complicasyon). he gives me
prescriptions for hyperacidity and to pass air (do you know what i mean),
and orders an ultra sound. i say i'll take the first two but pass up on the
third because i had an iiimportant meeting the next day.

the hilot armed with my prescription pills, i head back home, an hour's
traffic away, to ask the hilot to do me again -- knead my airful stomach and
back. the fever came within the hour. it was to be another sleepless night
with my K-bag, fever and my insides like they just went through a fraternity
initiation.

a show of support

early next morning my wife clem, cousin of eric ines and the former reta tan
who is married to our dr. joe reyes, shows her support, as in nakiramay, by
contracting her monthly migraine. at 5 am, i with my K-bag, fever and my
insides like they just went through a fraternity initiation, drag clem to
the cr to throw up,then drag her back to bed. at 6 am my son joao, who made
a hole in one at hole number 12 of the Club Intramuros some two years ago
when he was only two months into golf (this ate ray's heart out until he
made his own hole in one but this is getting ahead of my story), enters our
room and announces he has an headache. i say no way will three members of
this family be sick together, which is just too much show of support, and
forthwith pack him off to school. had to cancel my meetings to try and sleep
away what i thought was just the onset of the flu with my self-medicol and
hold the hand of my migraine-stricken wife, clem, the cousin of eric ines
and so on.

the die is cast

by pm had a burning fever and decided to call my doctor-brod for more
prescription pills. he would have nothing of my request for more pills and
after i describe to him my fever and fraternity-initiated insides says
enough of the telephone consultations and schedules an ultra sound plus a
cbc first thing the next morning. the die is cast , i will have no choice
but to accept the verdict on my insides tomorrow.

tomorrow, The Gall of My Stones, part II

UP Prep 1966

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Butch, now you know!