UP
Prep 1966This story is true. Names have been changed to protect the privacy of those concerned.
hello again guys and dolls,
i've just been given the
go signal by my doctors to go malling. my
wound is healing very well and i can now bathe everyday. based on my
description of my B. movement (at which i'm getting good at, describing
i
mean not moving, yuks), my used-to-be-fraternity-initiated insides
appear to
be waking up and may very soon perform at par. but i'm again getting
ahead
of my account, besides i still need the therapy, so suffer me some
more.
sunday is a day of rest
the whole day will see a
parade of resident doctors, interns and
nurses in and out my room checking my chart, looking at my eyes ( look
up,
look down ), and asking the same set of of questions over and over
and over
again -- is there any member of my family with diabetes? what is the
color
of my urine? my stool? do you feel any pain here? or here? first the
tests,
now my medical story. but when do we get on with it -- the simple gall
bladder operation -- nobody's telling me. or at least give me a rest,
it's a
sunday after all. late in the afternoon our own dr. joe, husband of
reta tan
and so on, drops in and gives me a rundown on the tests results and
what
they have pieced out as my medical story. heart is a ok, lungs are
clear,
blood sugar is elevated, there is acute infection of my digestive system,
but not to worry this last is being controlled by the anti-biotics
regularly
injected me. except that there may be another source of infection,
perhaps a
pre-existing condition, for which they will call in my
gastroenterologist-brod, oca cabahug, to perform an endoscopy the next
day.
dr. joe and so on appears not predisposed to say more and i'm too much
in a
daze to ask any questions after the whole day parade of residents
and
interns. it's a sunday after all. i leave it at that, for now.
early evening, morning-migraine-stricken
clem, cousin of reta tan
and eric ines, leaves me by myself to hear mass. this is when i go
cerebral.
i go through our own dr. joe's rundown of my tests results and his
evaluation of my medical story . a tenth of my left brain, perhaps
slightly
damaged, has a sneaking suspicion i'm not being told everything and
that
what will follow would not be that simple gall bladder operation!
8 pm, mommy pays me a visit
straight from her farm in magalang,
pampanga. she must be dead tired because after a quick hello she flops
down
on a chair and proceeds to nod herself off to sleep. very soon clem,
the
cousin of reta tan and eric ines, gets back from church and i prod
her into
asking mommy to call our very own dr. joe about what he told or did
not tell
me earlier. mommy, a former justice and congresswoman, after all is
the
matriarch of the ines clan which includes the former reta tan, wife
of our
very own dr. joe, and there should be nothing our very own dr. joe
will not
tell her. on the phone with our own dr. joe, mommy nods her head, grunts
and
hardly says a word until the final yes, thank you and good night. mommy
goes
back to her chair, flops down on it, almost nods herself back
to sleep,
until as an afterthought decides she should take her by your leave,
and
goes. clemmie, what is this, is she now part of the conspiracy? has
she been
told by our own dr. joe and so on something she doesn't want me to
know?
clem rushes after her at the corridor, brings mommy back to my bedside
and
pleads to her to tell me what our very own dr. joe told her over the
phone.
mommy reports that our own dr. joe gave her the rundown of their findings
and the procedures to be undertaken, which she admits she hardly understood
at the time because she was almost asleep, but not to worry because
everything is under control. and she pats my shoulder. thanks some
mom.
the surgeon-general walks in
not thirty minutes have passed
when a platoon of pablos -- two
brothers, and their wives, and a sister of my tatay, from whom i inherited
my anxieties about doctors, hospitals and many other things -- with
their
driver and a yaya walk into the room. immediately after, a squad of
lucianos
-- ging, dino, tara and 88- year-old lola mel, even if it is past her
bedtime, and her atsing let -- join in. they're saying their hellos
when
another platoon, this time of doctors, interns and nurses, barges in
and
their leader loudly announces himself as the dr. martinez (who i am
told by
erick fraga, the intern assigned me the past two days who bothers me
with
his 'day as in inday every uttered sentence, is idolized by many interns
as
the most efficient, fastest, cleanest and strictest surgeon at the
UERM even
if he dons a bmw). dr. gabriel martinez (UP '69), batchmate of our
own dr.
joe and so on, starts to give me more details of their findings --
how the
infection of my gall bladder is controlled even as they have monitored
my
temperature early morning to have gone up indicating another source
of
infection which may be my liver. i take in this last like a bombshell.
i
think i will never forgive this dreadful dr. martinez, even if he dons
a
bmw, for how he dropped me what i think is a bombshell. and i have
another
think coming, because it's not only my simple, dispensable gall bladder
they
are talking about now but also my major, major liver. so this
was why they
were making me look up and down, asking me questions about the color
of my
urine. panic creeps in, i cringe in fear of what l am going to be told
next,
i break in profuse sweating even as the air con is on highest high
cool, i
wail like a babe in front of the platoon of pablos, the squad of lucianos,
and another platoon of doctors, interns and nurses led by the dreaded
surgeon-general, dr. martinez, batchmate of our own dr. joe and so
on.
now he tells me, he cannot
understand why i am reacting this way.
why not, after no one explains to me why my simple gall bladder operation
has not been scheduled, after every doctor and intern has expressed
concern
more about my blood sugar, the color of my eyes, urine and stool than
my
gall bladder, and after he tells me now that there is something wrong
with
my liver. he takes two. there maybe infection of the bile duct that
goes
through the liver. and he proceeds to tell me about the gall of my
stones.
yes, maybe one or two of my stones had the gall to escape my bladder.
the
first may have lodged at the neck of the bladder causing inflammation
of
this organ full of stones calcified from fat. this stone may have later
been
dislodged passing through the bile duct. this or maybe another stone,
also
with the gall, lodged into the duct spreading the infection, then it
may
have passed through my intestines and eventually expelled with other
waste
from my system, or may still be lodged there, in any case causing further
infection. it is this further infection that is manifested in my high
temperature, dark-tea colored urine, ashen-colored stool and yellowish
eyes.
this is the reason why they have called dr. oca cabahug, my
gastroenterologist-brod, to perform tomorrow an endoscopy that would
probe
my ducts and some other parts of my digestive system to determine the
extent
of the infection and at the same clear my ducts of stones with the
gall, if
any. endoscopy is necessary as the clearing of my ducts is best done
ahead
of the main operation, otherwise it would add another hour or two in
what
could very probably be a complicated main operation. clinically clear,
even
to a panic-stricken EQ.
in an effort to make things
even clearer, the dreaded
surgeon-general asks me what is it about the liver that causes me to
panic.
it is a major, major organ which we cannot do without and does not
regenerate. wrong, while it is a major, major organ, it does regenerate.
he
removed half of the liver of a patient six months ago and that liver
is now
100%. i forget to ask about the patient though, like if he is 100%,
too. i
ask the dreaded doc to give me the bottomline; what i am in for because
i do
not want anyone telling me later on that i have only so many months
or even
just weeks to live. first, the bottomline is: i have gallstones, an
elevated
blood sugar, and jaundice. second, he declares there is no reason for
me to
think i will not live through this operation even if there are certain
complications. he challenges me to ask more question, as morbid as
my
perhaps slightly-damaged tenth of a left brain can think. do i have
cancer?
there is no evidence of any mass in my organs, ergo i do not have cancer.
if
cancer doesn't run in my family then i stand a good chance of outliving
him,
the dreaded doctor, as cancer runs in his family. do i have hepatitis
B?
your hepatic ducts are normal, i do not have hepatitis. what about
cirrhosis
of the liver? there is no such evidence from the ultra sound. wheew.
clinically clearer to the ear.
later at the corridor outside
my room, the dreaded dr. martinez,
batchmate of dr. joe and so on, would apologize to my wife clem, cousin
of
reta tan and eric ines, for coming in too strong especially for a major
surgery first-timer and first class worrier like me. he quickly hies
off
clem to get back to the room, lest i start thinking again they maybe
talking
of something they don't want me to hear. then he reports to the head
of the
team, our very own dr. joe and so on, they may have more than a surgery
patient but also a full-blown psychiatric case!
the power of prayers
later that night i request
judith and nikki, sister and niece of
clem, cousin of reta tan and eric ines, to come to the hospital and
pray
over me. nikki says she has an inspiration -- that i make the supplication
to the Lord myself. and this is when i ask for the grace of total surrender,
to just put my life at the hands of the Lord, and accept His will.
i close
my eyes and just feel the peace and calm that is starting to take over
me as
nikki proceeds with her prayers including calling of all spiritual
warriors
to do battle against the spirits and forces causing my present
physical,
emotional and spiritual affliction. i can just feel my healing had
started
even before i am subjected to any operation.this must be the feeling
of
heaven ana ur, UP Prep '65, writes of except mine is pre-op. in the
following days, nikki and judith, niece and sister of clem and so on,
will
continue to minister to me and even ask the intercessors of their community
to say prayers for me. later, too, i am told my staff, particularly
joy and
marilyn (sister-in-law of our own sonny 'top gun' tumaneng), will mobilize
prayer groups and conduct vigils among the members of the dpwh community
for
the success of my operation and quick recovery. the gift of these prayers
and many more from the e-mail -- from bob and alice in oregon, reno
in
vancouver, butch g and neph in san francisco, emmy from down under,
noli and
inday, ed, edna, butch d. from i don't know where and all you techies
out
there -- quickly transform my anxieties into a calmness of spirit and
joy i
have never known before. believe me butch, as i know you will feel
the power
of our prayers when you go for your operation and it will be alright
to shed
a tear or two of joy each time you are reminded of the care and concern
of
others, and through them the loving kindness of God.
nikki has another inspiration,
that i pray for God's message. i just
have to close my eyes, turn the pages of the bible, stop, point to
a passage
and read God's message, if i don't get any, read further down and up.
so
much, much later that night, half-asleep with the new calmness of my
spirit,
i close my eyes, turn the pages of the bible, stop, point to a passage.
this
one is from the book of genesis, about pairs of creatures which
entered the
ark of noah. where is the message? i read further down about the male
and
female of all species, and up about every kind of wild beast, domestic
animal and creeping thing of the earth. in the new calmness of my spirit,
i
fall into the other half of my asleep without discerning the message
about
the pairs of animals. good night one and all, for now.
how clem cries
judith, the sister of clem
and so on, also leaves me a book of
prayers and affirmations that will open to me and make me experience
the
therapeutic power of prayer. it is while reading through this book,
early
monday morning, that i discern, however trite it may seem, the message
of
the wild beast and animals and creeping things of the earth, of the
pairs of
all species brought into noah's ark, to salvation. i will not attain
healing
from my physical, emotional and spiritual affliction by praying
by my
lonesome self. clem, the cousin of reta tan and eric ines, will have
to pray
with me, be a pair with me. i wake her up from her sleep and ask her
to read
a prayer for me, a prayer of a terminal patient. half-asleep she starts
to
read until she begins to understand what she is reading and her voice
breaks
and she cries. oh, how clem, cousin of reta tan and so on, cries, with
rivers of tears flowing from both her eyes and mucous running down
her nose.
she complains of how i make things difficult for her and for others,
of how
i now even morbidly think of dying. no clemmie, i asked to read this
prayer
because i believe it will allow us to experience God, to feel His healing
touch, to find solace and hope. and she understands and begins to read
the
prayer again. how beautifully clem reads me the prayer and many other
prayers and affirmations that would sustain me, with your offered prayers
and thoughts, as nothing else could.
now, let me share with you
some scripture-based affirmations from
the book given by judith, sister of clem and so on, and beautifully
read to
me over and over by my clem, oh how she cries:
thank you, God, for filling
my heart with hope and never leaving me,
even for an instant.
i am filled with the peace
of Christ right to the very core of my being.
i am a child of God, i am
deeply loved by God. with every breath i
take, i draw God's healing,
restoring light and love into my
body.
i am growing in wisdom,
understanding, and compassion. i am
abundantly blessed.
i am a Christ-bearer who
brings hope and peace to others.
i receive my daily bread
from God with a thankful heart.
i turn over my life and
will to God's higher power and higher
purpose. i trust God completely in all
things.
i am glad to be alive, and
glad that my life is in God's hands.
i thank God for past, present,
and future blessings.
with God's help, i am a
strong and healthy human being.
God is with me in everything
i do.
i can do all things in Christ
who gives me strength and wisdom.
God leads me to a healing
place, where i find solace and hope.
butch, these affirmations
are especially for you as you go
through your own operation. take heart and pray, we're all rooting
for you.
and thanks one and all for reaching out to me.
by the way, butch, K-bag
is an americanization of 'kabag', the
pilipino of gas pain. get it!
next, we'll go medical on
The Gall of My Stones, part IV
UP
Prep 1966Butch, now you know!
