ESCAPADES OF OUR LAST SALMON
BY
CAROLE ANN HEASTER
AND FRIENDS
A call for me at the switch of shifts
"The salmon are coming!" said she.
"Two-eighty a pound, seven pounds and up,
"The salmon are running!" said she.
As I turned to the group in the office
And offered the deal of the day,
Many said, "Yes." Many said "No."
Some said they just couldn't pay.
"Tomorrow's the day." I believe I related,
"To come up with your money and say,
How much to spend, how much to weigh.
You'll have salmon from me on Wednesday."
Now, there are some things we say in excitement,
somethings we say in dismay,
But never was there so much to be said about salmon
coming fresh from the bay!
The morn had arrived and my day was begun, too early,
but I'm on my way.
To orientation for some other job
This day would be long, I knew as I woke,
but not so bad, in a way,
Cause I'd be busy, then helpful to those - by
bringing them fish from the bay.
Now I'm done work at six, fish orders in hand -
to the harbor of boats, with the pay.
To find someone named Don who'll be waiting for me
to buy salmon at two-eighty today.
I drove straight to the pier and a parking place near
scrambling for change for the meter.
Then walked to "S" dock, saw a boatman and talked
with this man who was drinking a liter.
"Are you Don? Have you fish?" said I to the man.
"No." said he to my query.
I continued my search for the fisherman's perch calling "Don"
and feeling just a bit leery.
Of asking for strangers to answer my call,
then I heard a strong voice call me, "Deary."
The boat was not big, but it wasn't too small
sure the rocking made me feel queery.
"Come aboard," said the captain, "Look at my home,
It's my business and keeps me right cheery,
A teacher was I, but I couldn't quite die
Til my heart was this free and deleery"
Don was his name, not easy to blame
for the life that made him look weary, though
His happiness showed, the fish that he towed
Alas, did not share his theory.
Don's daughter arrived, looked at me and contrived
an excuse to be out of the way
She related her life about being a wife
and said home needed her quickly, today.
"Dad, please hand me a fish, that's what I wish."
"Where is my grandson, I pray?"
"Granddaddy's Bright Star is stuck in the car?
I know that he just wants to play!"
We were finally remand to the business at hand,
finding fish that weigh in for the money.
Down in the hole, he climbed like a mole,
where the fish were not smelling like honey.
He picked up a fish, seeming small as I wish,
On the scale he put weighing for pounds.
When I said, "It's too big, are there some with less weight?"
He replied in unthinkable sounds.
"Big fish, only, were filling my nets on this day.
Giants were all I could find.
Seven pound salmon were swimming away
driving me out of my mind."
Now a salmon, like other fish, start out at sea,
learning swimming and mating and schools.
They don't search for boats and they don't want the chance
to lie flat on a plate for some fools.
"If you don't care for the sizes of these
Believe me, its really okay,
For I can keep them on board, don't you know,
Or just throw them back in the bay."
So, four salmon I lugged to the back of my car,
Knowing Gelda was waiting for me,
A fourteen pound fish was not truly her wish,
"Do I really believe what I see?" said she.
"Mary's leaving quite soon," said I,
"so I'd better now hurry and leave."
Away I then spun with more fish in the car,
A stranger tale no one can weave.
Now, Mary then said, when she looked at the head,
"Take it back, it was just in the sea!
I see one gorgeous eye and it makes me cry,
His life ne'er again will be free!"
At this time my blood pressure shot up through the roof
and Hiram sensed my distress.
So, she bundled the fish out the back door and said,
"I'll handle this fish, more or less"
She went to get Twoozie, I talked to Tim,
my misery continued to grow.
Then, Twoozie and Hiram both said they'd "split,"
Tim could only say, "No."
Well, I left in a huff with a fish in the buff
I first dropped on the way to the door.
Hanging over my arms were all of the charms of a fish
puzzling all in a "bore."
An ambulance passed, and I chuckled at last
imaging what would transpire.
Then I looked at the fish and made a last wish
That I could escape all this mire.
Back to the car, I said, "You've gone too far!"
To the salmon that hitched a free ride.
When Don finds you gone and knows you're with me,
I'm not sure which one he'll abide.
To Watsonville and Doreen, I now go,
she's there waiting anxious, I wish.
With two teenage boys, appetites growing
Maybe, there's enough for one dish!
Here they all are, with their taste buds ajar
overseeing their fish with alarm,
Waiting and watching while Mom does prepare;
they yearn for a taste of your charm.
Before, I leave the door of Doreen,
behind my open trunk, I stand, "True!"
Three swamies are passing, "Would you like to see?"
How could I know they're Hindu?
Now, home I then drive, two fish at my side
waiting to see where they'll go,
I stop at my store for groceries more, and ask,
"While I'm here can I show
you a fish that makes quite a dish?"
"An outstanding bargain, I know!"
But the grocer just said, while scratching his head,
This opportunity he's gonna blow.
Home's now in sight and it's going on night,
My day has been long, this is so!
Going into my house, I'd scare even a mouse
To recover from many a row!
All is not as I wish, there are still two big fish
in my car, and I didn't even want one!
Where can I put these gargantuan things
Won't my day ever be done?
The freezer gets one, another's down in the fridge
awaiting its glory, to be served on a plate
at some later date.
This is almost the end of my story.
There's a saying I've heard, I believe every word,
"No good deed goes unpunished." (It's true!)
If you doubt this intent and the time I have spent
on this escapade, tell me, please do!
I'll give you the fish and fulfill my last wish
that ne'er again will I go to the boat
on the bay where I stepped first today.
That's the last of the fish, and this show!!!
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