Rabbits

"Patient number, four hundred and seven. I'm here to tell ya about my fear.... Ooooh I hate these tape machines, they make me sound soooo nasal... It all started out as what my psychologist likes to call the 'classic childhood fear.' Ya know... Fear of strangers and strange things. Well, I was afraid all right. Of rabbits.... Their long pointed ears, the paws, that enclosed razor sharp talons, those nasty teeth, and oh those eyes those evil all knowing, all seeing eyes. The mere thought of them scares me to death, bbbbut ddddonnnn't ttell Doc Sorenson... Please don't. They'll stick me with the crazies, I know they will. The crazies... crazies... crazies.... Don't... noooooo.... I used to be a very happy child. I had parents that loved me, I had been a spoilt child.. I had every toy imaginable, but when the rabbits came no toy could comfort me. Playthings were useless against them.

When the rabbits started coming I changed. I was no longer the sweet bubbly little princess, everyone cooed over. I became withdrawn and shy, and anytime someone tried coaxing me into playing, I had a tantrum. My friends stopped playing with me, they all thought me to be quite bizarre, the teachers included. It got to the point where I just stopped going. Besides, before long the rabbits had found me there and it was no longer safe. Rabbits.... Those evil little things, started following me around since about age five I guess. Saw my first rabbit in a petting zoo located in the middle of Lockley, British Columbia. Lockley, Lockley, Lockley...

Did I tell ya... I lived in Lockley all my life. Did too...... With Mum... Dad.. an Billy..... Billy was my older brother... He had a real nasty streak... I s'pose it was cuz he was jealous of me.... He hated me, just like those evil rabbits.. It got me to thinking, whether Billy was one of them... He WAS kinda furry....

Anyways, when we went to the pettin' zoo, he took that rabbit and lets 'im loose in my coveralls, he did. Scared the dickens out of me that rabbit did. Tell ya I've never been more scared in my life.... The only thing that scares me more than the ordinary rabbit is the delinquent rabbit.. I s'pose you know whom I'm talking about, but if ya don't I might as well explain then, shouldn't I.. The delinquent rabbit was this supposed 'Easter Bunny' I guess you know the scenario from here eh? Cute bunny comes in your house and leaves cute little chocolates. HAH!! How delusional you are!! This evil little varmint BREAKS into your safe haven, your shelter from harm, your sanctuary, and conspires to fatten up your innocent babes and eat them. They gain the adoration of your child and corrupts his young mind and then finally stalks him till..... He ends up like me......

Rabbits followed me everywhere, I was like the damn pied Piper without the pipe... I wonder if the Pied piper went nuts........ I couldn't sleep nights, anymore.. So instead I sat up nights, armed with a LouiseVille Slugger, underneath my sheets. After months of sleepless nights my parents persuaded me to set up a tent in the basement. They claimed that the rabbits wouldn't dare brave our basement stairs, after all there had been more than one occasion on which my own father had nearly fallen down them and hurt himself. To further reassure me, my father explained that with the combination of thier short legs, and the steep decline of the staircase, one little hop and they'd come tumbling down and land at the bottom, dead. Now I know for a fact that dead rabbits can't get you, so I was willing to give it a try. I had finally outsmarted the rabbits.

I had adjusted well to this new arrangement and after about 6 months I had settled in enough for a teacher to come to my house 2 times a week and help me with my schooling. I was smart as a whip and within a matter of weeks I was well ahead of my school aged peers. Books proved to be a solace, a comfort, an escape from reality.

The teacher brought me books home from the library, J.D Salinger, W.O Mitchell, W.P Kinsella. All books about people that were a hell of a lot worse off than I was. Geez! At least I wasn't hearing voices telling me to build baseball fields.

But then somehow a rabbit found his way into my refuge. I was half asleep, reading about Holden Caulfield and his hat, when I looked up and saw a rabbit peering at me from underneath the nylon zipper door. It blinked, then its teeth parted into a hideous grin.

The stench of rotting flesh and carrot greens escaped from its yawning mouth. It hopped towards me, teeth bared and claws raised in a repulsive gesture, and I screamed. Both my parents came running and tried to comfort me, trying to figure out what was bothering me. I pointed right at the evil vermin and all they did was blink and scan the room wildly. I was incredulous! How could they not see it???? It was right there in front of their eyes. My mother picked me up and I spent the night in my parents bedroom.

My mother and father worried over me as any parent would... But there wasn't much they could do... They phoned Doc Sorenson... Wasn't much he could do neither...

All he told them was that I'd grow out of it.... Heeee heeee heee heeee. Hahahahhaa..... I guess I never did, eh??? Anyway I guess you still wonder how I got here. After that rabbit in the basement, I had a nervous breakdown. My safety had been breached. The rabbits had sunken to a new low. The 'Easter Bunny' low, now they could get me in my sleep.

Hehehehe, you're probably wondering. HUH?? What in the heck is she talking about? Didn't she just say that the rabbits were getting her in her bedroom? Well, yes I did say that, but you see I had also refused, absolutely, adamantly, refused to sleep, so in theory they could have, but they didn't.

Anyways, after my breakdown I ended up in a minimum security looney bin.. Happy Acres, they called it.... I could visit Mum and Dad on the weekends but with all those rabbits teeming in that house I dared not. So instead they came there.

Now I know there's another question that's tugging at that old brain of yours. Where in the heck did Billy go??? Well to put it simply... The rabbits got him. Oh sure there was the usual cover up, the policeman said that Billy ran away. There was a note left on the table from Billy, saying he had run away and wasn't coming back.

They looked everywhere and couldn't find a trace of him. But I knew they'd never find him. Oh sure I did, because I told you, the rabbits got him. What about the note, you wonder. Well, rabbits can write......

After the rabbits getting Billy, I basically went off the deep end, I began cutting myself, it eased the pain a bit.. The rabbits which had once scratched and pulled at the mesh netting nailed to the windows, disappeared. But the big white people, which at one time had been kind and nice to me became upset with me and sent me here.

I can't cut myself no more, but the big white people here give me pretty pills and the rabbits don't come any more. I like it in here too. The wire on the windows is stronger.... That flimsy wire mesh at Happy Acres was coming loose... If the big white people had taken away my knife, the rabbits would have gotten me.. I like it here.. The wire is stronger.....


The play version of Rabbits

Back to Writing

Back to the Homepage


1