There are some strange, strange people out there....

"My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll
leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're
finished."

"Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone
right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes
doing it up and down. I like doing it left to right, real slowly. So
leave us a message. When we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back
to you."

"A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why
we're not here. So leave a message at the beep."

"Hi. This is John. If you're the phone company, I already sent
the money. If you're my parents, please send money. If you're my financial
aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you're my
friends, you owe me money. If you a female, don't worry, I have plenty of
money."

"Hi, Now you say something."

"Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can
talk to it instead. Wait for the beep."

"Hello, I'm David's answering machine. What are you?"

"He-lo! This is Sa-to. If you leave message, I call you soon.
If you leave SEXY message, I call sooner!"

"Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator.
Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with
one of these magnets."

"Hi, I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like.
Leave me a message. If I don't call back, it's you."