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I wrote a paper on “The Waking” and when I was done, I was more impressed and in love with the poem than before. And why? Cause it expresses a belief I do hold – the soul – and allows that spirituality to reside without being didactically religious. Which matters to me, because I really do believe that Religion Sucks.
When I say I believe in the soul, I mean a spirit within me apart, somehow – endured, enduring. Something that presaged me and will survive me. Possibly reincarnation. Tell me about your experience with ghosts. My mother while still alive gave my sister (a clock collector) a beautiful grandfather clock. And it broke somehow and would not keep time, for months and months. On November 23 one day, the anniversary of her death, it just kicked in. has worked ever since – five, six years or so. And she knows. Some time after that, Carolyn went to a psychic who told her that mom had “moved on.” And where to I don’t know – but think somehow it’s the next life. Earth, elsewhere, who knows? Maybe there is a mirror cosmos where time goes the OTHER way. Usually I think of the grand schemes of things, timewise, as taking place in its totality within a continuum. I do NOT disbelieve much. I believe that god was devised by man as opposed to vice versa: read Catch 22 for an excellent reason, or at least a great illustration.
I believe in the golden rule and that if more people lived according to its simple logic, “What a wonderful world this could be.”
I believe in love, and that it is the ultimate which we all search, even those who’ve given up.
I believe that most men live lives of quiet desperation. Who said that?
I believe in poetry – that it is my avenue to some plane of self-knowledge and spiritual awareness -–states which once attained, may afford me peace – which I hope will lead fearlessly to the next place, which I do NOT believe I can define or know before I die.
I believe in what Shakespeare wrote – and was it Hamlet
or Ophelia’s father (whose name I for – Polonius! Who said it: “There
is more on heaven and earth Horatio, which is dreamt of in your philosophy.”
Which explains why I discount little and disdain religion, which purports
to explain it all just to subjugate humans and make them robots who don’t
do their own thinking and accomplishes it largely by getting them to believe
their humanity is a sin. And their basic human impulses are SINFUL.
Thus is repression born, and double standards, and so much pain.
There are so many QUESTIONS that cause me to disavow religion.
It makes WAY MORE SENSE that man made up GOD: 1, omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent. Yes it does make sense that in their search for answers to the questions any thinking person trips over, some people devised an answer. And most people understand tht whether they believe that answer (“god”) to be correct is a decision they make. It requires a blind leap of faith: I leaped BACK several years ago cause too many facts pushed me off that hill.
I admire people who possess true faith: but I think there are very, very few. I’ve known one or two. I believe in faith healing – it’s just that I know it’s the power of FAITH that makes it work – faith that is born in and travels from the minds of people to affect people or situations. Not “god” – faith.
When I am losing a game of pool I “whammy” my opponent
on the eight ball or the one before it. I’ve done it for my partners
too. I know it’s real. The first time I experienced it was
at a women’s league night at the Mayfair – the other team had a guy who
was whammying us. It worked, especially against Roxanne, and she
didn’t believe it. But I’d watch her run off two or three balls,
then he’d whammy her, and no matter how much of a duck it was, she’d miss.
So I just started TRYING it. If it’s possible you direct your gaze
at the shooter’s eyes; otherwise just stare at him/her. And THINK
IT: “whammy, whammy, whammy…” Isn’t that funny? It doesn’t
work every time – but it works often enough that I KNOW it’s for real.
I do positive whammies too. I also practice visualization, and have
got to believe that landing my dream job has something to do with that.
I set a goal: I put my “EYES ON THE PRIZE” and with your sage advice
I claimed it.
My faith lies in the belief in people’s goodness – sometimes difficult to maintain, but, I’ve discovered, IMPOSSIBLE to lose. The basic shittiness of people is very well-documented. But just like you per whoever made you so pissed you wanted to lash out physically, I acknowledge their ignorance. I deplore it, nor do I like shitty people. But yes I believe in Karma, as a loose definition of one of nature’s laws: what goes around, comes around. When I was homeless, living in Lancaster on unemployment while my children were torn from me – then my car died (this was last November) – I was in a state of true despair. What the fuck was I going to do?! Public transit just does not cover that distance: school represented FUTURE and without it there would be none – and my car DIED. More than once I said, “I figured it out – I was reincarnated from Hitler.” Cause I knew that nothing I had done or not done deserved the retribution raining on me. And what got me through? People’s goodness – that and nothing more.
And I strive to be a good person myself – in fact it is the one positive belief I’ve held steadily about myself through every other kind of self-hatred. I am a basically good person. Most of us are. But “human” means “fallible” and this is me too. I’m not a drunk. Sometimes I get drunk, and when I do, I change. But don’t be too hard on me! My hangovers are HELL. (instant karma?)
I believe in Bigfoot. – And e.t. (they are common experiences, though I’ve not been there, I believe the reports of others). Very possibly the Loch Ness monster and that there is WAY MORE of which not one of us as yet has a clue. And that it does not mean apocalypse or terror necessarily.
By the way I hope you answered the Dr. correctly – cause I’m sure the question is posed as a way to discern whether or not you’re a delusional psychopath. What I would say is that the power resides in all of us – I’ve begun to acknowledge my own. This I learned from Chopra and must say I feel richer by far having done so.
Anyhow – there’s a small dose of BALES LAW. write
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