Its a hard world out there, and I used to worry every month if I was going to make ends meet. Then I came upon a solution
which I think every struggling family should consider: Get yourself thrown
in jail. I don’t mean just one member of the family, I mean everyone.
No longer will Dad and Mom have to worry if they’ll be able to pay the
mortgage, food, utility bills, or even the kid’s college education.
In jail its all provided for you…free. If the kids start fighting
you just call over the guards and they haul them back to their cells.
No more settling their petty arguments or wondering when they’ll be in
on a Friday night. And they’ll clothe them at no additional cost.
(I’m going to save a bundle here!) You’ll be lounging on your bunk reading
a good book, or hanging out with some of your new friends out on the basketball
court or watching TV or maybe even having one of your guaranteed conjugal
visits with the spouse. I know personally I have a lot of good recipes
that I would be happy to share with the chow line staff. I wouldn’t
even mind helping out, its not like I’ve never been chained to a kitchen
before. Anyway, as I see it, its like the outside world except with
fewer hassles. I was getting pretty sick of all the car pooling and
household chores and trying to earn a living to boot. I might
even have time to take an auto mechanics class or write that great American
novel I’ve been putting off all these years. Finally, freedom from
my worries!