Day 1: I'm going. Try to stop me!
Day 2: I managed to follow them all day, no problem, without being spotted. I'm just as good an explorer as he is. He makes me sick.
Day 4: I finished off the last of the food I brought along. I thought I had plenty, but I'm hungry doing all this canoeing by myself..up river..I think I pulled a shoulder muscle.
Day 8: He still hasn't spotted me! This is incredible! I've been following his barge maybe 300 yards back for days and he doesn't even know it. Fish again tonight.
Day 12: I passed his barge early in the evening as the sun went down. It was fairly dark so his party really couldn't see it was me. I made jeering faces for the sheer pleasure of it and gave them the thumbs down....with both hands! I'd be 100 yards ahead by now if I didn't tip the canoe whilst mooning them.
Day 22: I snuk to thir campp this evenin as they sleepet and took sum whisky and leftover dear they had cookked. I wus only on the other side of the hill...they never knew. Hehehehe ... I'm so clever I amazze mysolf. I'm gonna rest now...
Day 24: OH! They managed to get a full day ahead of me yesterday.
Day 32: Been over a month and we've gone about 200 miles I would estimate. I hope we're almost there.
Day 54: I'm so lonely. I befriended a small furry creature
and he has been with me the past few days. I call him "Furry". He listens
to me as I talk and sing to myself in an effort not to go mad from the
loneliness.
He is my best friend.
Day 62:I had to eat Furry today...I ran out of ammunition and couldn't hunt. I'll fish tomorrow.
Day 87:What a horrendously dreadful ordeal! Where to begin
except to say..I've been found out! It all began 4 days ago. I was watching
my brother and his party as they made contact with the Mandan Indians.
Meriwether, being his usual charismatic, charming self won them over easily
to my general loathing. What appeared to be a banquet in his honor followed
in the evening. I stayed in the distance and watched. But as the aroma
of their roasted buffalo wafted before me I found myself creeping closer
and closer...like a salamander on my belly. As usual I hadn't eaten much
and hunger had overcome me. Lost in my thoughts of eating heartily I dropped
my guard. I was unaware I had been spotted until I felt a sharp object
poking me in the back. Two Mandans had found me. I tried offering them
tokens of friendship in an effort to send them on their way. Instead they
took all my belongings and lead me back to camp. I can still hear my "dear"
Meriwether's voice shouting, "For God's sakes Louis what are you doing here?!?" I then had the pleasure of telling him I had followed him for
months unbeknownst to his superior knowledge. Unfortunately the Mandan
mistook my shouts for threats against their new beloved friend and I was
bound and hung from a low branch where I spent the night between the horses.
Most unpleasant. Meriwether managed to convince them the following day
to release me, but before nightfall I was once again hanging from the tree.
Apparently trying to get the chief's daughter drunk was a no no. As we
left camp 3 days later Meriwether insisted I travel with him. I am very
unhappy and planning my next move.
Day 96: For the past 5 days I have been consumed
by thoughts of how to reach the Pacific before my brother and gain the
accolades and glory from my President and countrymen. Yet not having a
particularly keen sense of direction, no supplies, and a general lack of
ambition, any plan seemed destined for failure. Then a startling revelation.
Tonight whilst Meriwether slept I obtained his maps which he has been so
meticulously drawing. I was astonished to discover that we had thousands
of miles to go! According to his calculations we still had perhaps a year
or maybe two left! I was dumbfounded. And at that precise moment I knew
what I had to do...GET MYSELF OUT OF THIS INSANE EXPEDITION!
Day 101:I can't believe how lost I am. I'm attempting to retrace my steps but I messed up someplace.
Day 122:Lost lost lost.
Day 146:Fish again tonight.
Day 206:I thought I saw Furry today.
Day 212:A poem by Louis Lewis
There once was a dandy named Louis
Who went on a half-cocked god-forsaken expedition
in some god-forsaken endless wooded
nightmare like some half-witted brainless .......
Day 2: Are we home yet Daddy? I smell banana pudding!
There were tales that Louis was spotted a year later
by fur traders just 2 miles from St. Louis although he likely never knew
how close he had come. His journal was recovered in 1992 in the Mojave
Desert, California.
© 1998 - 2007 SWeber