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The Old Wizard waved an arm and sat down heavily on the ornate sofa that appeared magically underneath him. "Oh do sit down boy!", said he producing an over-stuffed chair from nowhere for Dick.
The chair was fat, ugly and looked vaguely hungry. Dick sat down nervously, not wishing to offend this boisterous, and obviously very powerful sorcerer.
"Well boy?", said the Wizard snatching a long glass of some liquid out of the air, "What do you think of magic now? Fun isn't it!" Having said this he balanced the glass three inches above the arm of the chair, and took a burning cigar off an ashtray that appeared momentarily.
He examined the tip, and knocked the long glowing section of ash into the ashtray. But the ashtray had disappeared and the ash started burning a hole in the sofa. A bucket of water fell from the ceiling dousing the cigar ash, wetting Dick and the Wizard, and totally soaking the sofa. The Wizard glared at the sofa, which cringed away steaming furiously. Under the Wizards blazing glare, the room was soon dry and peace restored.
Dick finally mustered courage to speak, "But what about the Balance of Nature, the Harmony of Powers? Don't Wizards only use their powers when absolutely necessary? All the books say that use of Power must always have a corresponding cost! Doesn't this extravagance leave you drained and exhausted?"
"WHAT!", roared the Wizard, "Balderdash! Poppycock! The more power you use, the more you have. Besides, the balance of nature is so shot anyway", here he paused, for the bucket was hopping about with a malicious grin on its mug.
The Wizard aimed a fierce kick at the bucket, which avoided the kick by nimbly growing a pair of wings and flying out the window.
The Wizard looked disgustedly at the departing bucket-bird and humphed, "When last did you see a Dodo? A mere two hundred years ago, the plain on which this city is built had herds of game so vast, that it took days for the early pioneers to walk through them. Did you see that Bucket? I changed it into a rufous breasted rock thrush. There are only three hundred of those birds left in the country. So haven't I improved the balance?"
The wizard relit his cigar with a glowing finger, and then smiled impishly, "Besides, its such fun!".
The wizard's grin grew broader, broader than the human bone structure could possibly allow, "As a special gift to you, I will leave you with the same magical powers as I have."
With that the Wizard mouth grew enormously, folded back on itself encompassing the Wizard, the sofa, and the glass before disappearing in a convulsive swallow.
The cigar hung in mid-air for a moment longer, the red tip glowing as if someone was smoking it, and then faded slowly from sight.
Dick glanced fearfully at the chair underneath himself, expecting it to vanish too. The chair didn't unfortunately, it merely looked fatter and hungrier. Indeed the arms bulged and he felt himself sinking deeper and deeper into the chair. The seat below seemed rough, like a cat's tongue.
He decided it really was time to get out of this monstrous piece of furniture. But he couldn't! The bulging arms held him down and the tongue-like seat was moving, shifting him deeper in.
Panic set in, struggling furiously and vainly, Dick swore vividly, "What the Blue Blazing Bliksem's is going on here?!"
"You are being swallowed, whole, by a fat, carnivorous chair", replied a brilliant turquoise ball of flame, sotto voce, before disappearing with a sulphurous pop.
Dick was so surprised that he stopped struggling for a moment. The chair merely grunted and licked him in further. Remembering the wizard's parting words, Dick said, "I wish this chair was a kitty cat."
Now imagine a large Persian cat, the size of an over-stuffed chair. Persians, you will remember, are those very hairy, fluffy cats. And this one looked as if it had been fed for a life time on unlimited quantities of rich cream and very smelly fish. Dick was sitting on the back of it, half lost in the fur. The cat had its head turn around and was licking Dick with its door-mat size, fishy smelling tongue, contemplating whether it wouldn't be easier to just bite.
Dick rapidly wished it to be a small kitty.
"Oh Cute!", said Margy, Dick's girlfriend, as she walk in the door. Margy bent over and picked up the small kitten that was licking Dick's hand, "Is it for me?"
"Er, well maybe, um, Yes!", said Dick, just in time to ward of the approaching storm, before Margy was even conscious of it. Besides what would he do with a kitten? Besides, it still looked ominously hungry, even for such a small animal.
"Who was smoking in here?", ask Margy, her pert snooter sniffing the air.
"Oh, just a very strange visitation, er, I mean visitor I had"
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