Why is figure skating so popular? I'm told it's because it's an incredible accomplishment to be so graceful on two thin pieces of metal on a sheet of ice; that it requires a lot of practice and skill. Well, I think it's an incredible accomplishment to be able to wiggle your ears, and it requires a lot of practice and skill. But you don't see them putting that in the Olympics.
I figured out the reason on my own--it's the little dress/leotard tight-as-hell outfits those skanks wear. If it were a fat, hairy man out there in a leotard/little dress combo, it wouldn't matter how graceful he was. No-one would watch it.
I bought my hamster (yes, I checked that she/he/it was still breathing again) some food today--whoa, why is it that these critters have so many different types of food? They should have regular and poisonous, for when you're sick of cleaning out their piss-covered cage. That's it. But they have all sorts of treats: "waffles", yogurt drops, fruit crunchies (these looked so much like the berries from "Crunch Berries" that it took all of Dirk's persuasive powers to convince me not to buy them and eat them), "cookies" made out of vegetable bits, crunchy stuff made out of vegetable bits, and vegetable ravioli. I got Blitzkreig (my hamster) regular food, and for kicks, the vegetable ravioli. When I brought it home, I looked at the ingredients, and saw that it was pretty much made out of the same stuff human food's made out of, except that the vegetables were of the nasty/flavorless variety. I mean, it had butter in it! Butter is not natural food for hamsters. Of course, niether is yogurt, I guess.
I took one out of the box and sniffed it--smelled ok. Pretty good actually. Unfortunately, Dirk noticed that I was sniffing it and told me that if it went in my mouth, he would never touch me again, much less kiss me. I don't see the problem. I mean, it would be gross if the hamster had already nibbled on it, or stuffed it into that pouch they have in their cheeks. That would be like making out with the hamster. And it's not like cat food, which smells gross, looks gross, and is made out of gross stuff (like nuclear waste). I think Dirk lacks a sense of adventure.
I was playing with my scanner again today (it's my new favorite toy), just scanning different things in to see how they came out. It would be nice if I had a working mouse, but I manage. I scanned the weird little necklace that Krisco put in Dirk's room when he wasn't there, on his bedside table. It actually came out pretty well. She apparently tried to scratch K&D into it, and when that didn't work, made the scratches stand out by covering them in nail polish the color of dried blood. I got a hold of it(Dirk didn't protest), removed the nail polish, and made the other side really pretty. I'm putting it at the bottom of the page, to show you just how much prettier my contribution to the necklace was. People have told me that I should send her a copy of the two GIFs via e-mail, but I think that would be cruel...might make me feel better, though.