I'm actually just taking a wild stab at the date. I honestly have no idea what it is.
I know, moving that last controversial entry to another site was a cop-out, but I tried looking at my page, and Geocities burped, and told me it wasn't there. So, I assumed the obvious, and freaked. When it became apparent that they hadn't deleted my site, I decided it was best not to risk it, and moved it to my default account.
You know, I think it's kind of cheap that everyone else on Nedstat is getting a regular following to their site, and building from that, when I seem to lose people on a regular basis. What, is it my breath? Perhaps I'm simply too unkind, or they don't like the new layout. Cheap bastards.
My father, the great hypochondriac himself, stayed home today. No big surprise there. I could tell he was building up to it last night, when he refused dinner. My father never refuses food. Unless he's trying to weasel his way out of work. So, I couldn't spend the entire day with Dirk, as I'd planned. I suppose I should be more sensitive to my father's needs, but I honestly can't understand why the man demands so much attention from the rest of us. Isn't it enough that we don't spend time plotting his demise?
I brought our youngest cat, Jello, to the veterinarian's today to get spayed. She yowled the whole way there. I felt so bad, because she's so tiny, but she loses weight each time she goes into heat.
I want to share the joy of my psychology professor, Dr. Gross, with you. She's an extremely overweight and unattractive person, with an irritating buzz in her voice and frizzy long hair. She's also in love with her overhead projector. I'm not kidding. She puts up about 5 different transparencies for the same information. Today, instead of taking notes, I filled the margins of my notebook with a sick little fantasy that involved her cutting up dogs and cooking them on her overhead projector. I don't know what it is about this lady, but I somehow associate her with dogs and eating.
All of my joints hurt right now. I think the weather got cold too quick.
Sometimes, I think I'm missing something really important. It seems as though there should be something more than all of this. Something I should be searching for.
Or maybe I just need to concentrate on passing this semester.
I got an e-mail from C--! I'm so happy, it's actually a fairly long one (long being more than a paragraph long).
hi Agent Skatteri have a couple of rollin's books.. very interesting. some of the poems are a bit repetitive, " i am death, i am dead, i will kill you", etc....but there are so many touches of brilliance... i think i have "see a grown man cry" and pone more...i can't remember the title... it's red i think i get alot of visuals when i read his work.. i've actually meant in thepast to copy some parts and send to you...one inparticular that comes to mind...maybe i will search for it.
anyway Agent Skatter, sorry i havent been around much.. i am thinking of you though.. how are things going? things are pretty much the same here..lifeless..... but at least i am free
talk to you alter
with love,
C--I kind of wish getting e-mail from him didn't make me so happy.
You know, I don't really talk in-depth about Dirk and I anymore. Things have finally reached the comfort level that I'd been searching for. No more stomach aches because of Krisco hanging around, no more fear that he'll just leave me. Sometimes I wonder if things are really going as well as they seem to be, or if it's all just the calm surface of a very murky puddle.
I do know that all the horrible things that Roachboy told me would happen never did. Dirk doesn't hit me, doesn't treat me like shit, hasn't started militantly cheating on me (knock on wood). He's also getting his act together and taking life seriously for a change. I think the most evil Dirk is capable of is laziness. And I'm guilty of the same sin. We spend a lot of time trying to decide whose laziness is worse in the grand scheme of things. I think his is.
Less self-analysis, more studying!