No matter what my supervisor tells me, I'm absolutely certain that licking all the envelopes I do in the course of a day isn't healthy. Isn't the adhesive on those envelopes made out of horse glue? I mean, making glue out of horse's hooves is nasty anyway, but putting that stuff in your mouth must be a health violation.
Alex is in the midst of an imaginary crisis. He claims he's going to be incredibly busy today with a project, then he gives me most of the work he has to do for that project. Really, I think he keeps going out of the office to go to the bathroom. He probably just doesn't want to say that he's got the "green apple two-step". He's also trying to get me in trouble with the Administrative Assistant here, Claire. He told me, "Agent Skatter, if I don't get back from lunch by one o'clock (he usually leaves at 11:45 and returns at 1:15), just go ahead and leave. Don't tell Claire that you're leaving just leave." If I did that, I could kiss any chance at a peaceful day at work goodbye. Talk about obviously trying to get me in trouble.
Krisco changed her screenname. I guess she didn't appreciate Chrissie e-mailing her. Some people can't handle hearing the truth about themselves. Of course, there were rumors that Krisco was getting a lot of obscene e-mail....that's not particularly surprising, considering the amount of people who don't like her. I'll bet one of her "friends" did something.
My friend, Cathy, is having a birthday party on Sunday. I'm never sure what I should get her, you know? Luckily Dirk's coming with me. He's told me that he wants to go to the college with me every night from now on, and work on the Internet in the library. He's gotten so sick of Krisco going over to his house every night, hoping to see him. If only his mother wasn't so intent on having the little whore as a daughter-in-law....Anyway, Cathy told me she wants me to bring the issue of the zine with the article I wrote about Krisco over to the party, so she can read it.
You know, it's almost sad when you can almost feel your brains turning to mush. I haven't read anything new in so long that I'm starting to get scared. I spend too much time worrying about Krisco, and not enough time reading. You can never read too much. I'm hoping one of the authors on my list of favorites will come out with something soon....or else I'll find a book by one of the poets I like. The Kerouac spoken word CD I got, while obviously in the category of "must-have," just didn't do all that much for me. The poetry's great, the chance to actually hear Kerouac reciting his own work is too good to be true, but it's not the same as reading it. I'm also constantly on the lookout (in used book stores, of course) for new poets.
I wonder when Dirk's going to start thinking that I'm paranoid and obsessed. If he ever does. I need to move on. Right now, I'm just waiting for Katie to finish her article, so I can throw myself completely into putting out the newest issue of Über Alles. I fully realize that I need to write an article, but you know what? I was right....when a topic doesn't "grab" me, I write poorly. I tried to write an article about working-class sociopaths, but I just couldn't get it to flow at all....and forget about the humor. Dry, awkward, and just plain boring. I need to come up with a new topic, really fast.
For those of you familiar with D.C. Metro-area forms of transportation, I slug a ride to work every morning. Unfortunately, there are so many people slugging rides these days that the commuter parking lot fills up quickly, and it often takes a while to get a ride, because the lines are so long. I think I should slash the tires of some of the people who use that lot....I bet that would get them to find another way to haul their butts into the office. So far, my mother has been successful in persuading me not to, but her reasoning that "it isn't nice, and you can't do stuff like that to other people" is starting to wear thin.
Alex had another one of his "attacks". This is when he pukes all over the table at a restaurant during lunch. This time, he actually came back with vomit on his shirt, so unless one of the homeless people near the Metro station walked up to him and puked on him, he's telling the truth. Anyway, the "attack", and the doctor's visit that followed, took the better part of 2 hours. I think Claire's quite irritated with both of us, because when she had been to lunch more than an hour, I just left, because I got tired of waiting for her to get back to cover the front desk.