Merry Fucking Christmas
Happy Goddamn New Year
I am irritated as shit about this whole holiday bullshit, mainly because my parents are off. I have also had a less than fantastic holiday season so far.
Actually, Katie's Christmas Eve party was great. We got to see Chris again, who seemed to be in fairly good spirits. I also got to drink some of their strawberry zinfandel (sp?), so I wasn't my usual reclusive self. I was actually talking to people, if you can believe it. Of course, I was also leaning against walls for support, but no cure is fool-proof. Especially alchohol.
Anyway, I was wearing my Bitch Goddess T-Shirt. Honestly, I thought I was changing into something more....festive. I didn't notice what my shirt said until I was outside with Katie, helping her scrape ice off her car. It was the source of much amusement at her party.
Katie was nice enough to bring Dirk to work, leaving Chris to the wolves--I mean, her family. They're nice people, honestly. I just don't have too much experience with families....at least, not with ones that speak to each other on a regular basis.
My house is so grim. Honestly, living here is suffocating. You're afraid to ask too many questions, because that Cunt will have a fit. Also, my father's need for attention is disgusting. He's not happy unless I am doing something for him, like scratching his back, fetching him something.....I hate this house. I cannot wait until I leave.
Happy Abort Christ Day. Thank Roachboy for that saying.
I'm not at all sure what-all I got for Christmas. Lemme think. A lamp (Katie), a Vampire Encyclopedia (Katie), The Highwaymen CD (Dirk), The Bruce Springsteen Box Set (Dirk), Sundry Stuffed Animals (Dirk), Bottles of Perfume (That Cunt), Cubic Zirconia Earrings, (My Father), a Nail Care Set (Both Parents), a really ugly fancy watch (grandfather), and a set of bath crap, courtesy of Dirk's mom.
I have to elaborate on the bath set. Honestly, it was about eight items, five of which were bottles of shower gel. The only decent scent was raspberry, and how can you go wrong with raspberry? The rest of the stuff smelled like sewage tainted with floral aromas...gross. Gross, gross, gross. So gross that when I saw that Sonia (mother of Aaron's kid) got the same thing I did, I made a point of following her upstairs and warning her not to sniff the contents of the bottles.
That was an interesting experience in itself. I think I upset Sonia. When I mentioned that Dirk and I might be getting engaged, she seemed to get agitated. She began telling me that she didn't even know where she stood with Aaron, they'd broken up so many times. Then she confided to me the fact that they weren't, in fact, dating at the moment, but no-one else knew. I felt bad for her.
I was supposed to stay at Dirk's for Christmas dinner on the 25th, but his father managed to completely offend me. He brought up the dowry again...fucking bastard. And he got semi-insulting. So I went upstairs and cried, and Dirk came with me to calm me down. Then, we made a point of leaving before dinner was served. I think Dirk yelled at his father later, because the next time I came over, his father didn't seem as...outgoing...as usual.
We ended up having Christmas dinner at my house. My Aunt Jennifer came, along with her husband, Shelly, Carlos, and thier friends. They didn't have the decency to let us know that Shelly and Carlos were bringing friends along...it was supposed to be a family dinner. But, as filipinas go, my aunt and uncle aren't the most refined people.
Shelly brought the girl she's living with. Poor girl. Not only is she hugely fat, she's ugly. And short. But at least they don't seem to be lovers. I would have been utterly disgusted with my cousin's standards, horrible acne or no. They spent most of the evening talking about guys they liked.
Afterwards Dirk and I took a nap, and I brought Dirk to work.
I was woken up pretty damn early on Saturday, because Service Merchandise (the land of over-priced calculators) had already marked all their Christmas merchandise 75% off. I got a set of solid silver pinecone-shaped salt-and-pepper shakers for $3.50. I also got a set of four spreading knives (for the pate and soft cheese that I don't eat) for the same price. Again, solid silver, in a velvet green box.
Then, we went to practice. Aaron didn't come along, because he couldn't haul his ass out of bed fast enough. DoShu was there for the whole practice, so we got a lot done.
Sunday, we went out with Katie. Dirk and I got into a minor argument because he was trying to get me to eat when I didn't want to. I explained that I did not, in fact, need to eat any more candy, because I'd gained a hell of a lot of weight already, thanks to the holidays. Dirk refused to accept that I might have gained weight, and insisted that it was water weight.
It was about this point that Katie started listening to the conversation. Understandably, I'm certain she got the impression that I was just bitching about my wieght, which isn't one of my habits. I'm pretty philosphical about it, since I figure that if there's at least one guy out there who thinks I'm attractive with my clothes off, I'm doing pretty damn good.
So, I was in a shitty mood for the first half hour we were out, thanks to Dirk trying to insist that I eat more. Then I got over it.
Today I did nothing. That Cunt is off and I'm talking to C-- at the moment. To prove that I love you, however, here's the lyrics to Sister Ray.
Doc and Sally inside
They're cookin' for the down five
Who're starin' at Miss Rayon
Who's busy licking up her pig-pen
I'm searching for my mainline
I said I couldn't hit it sideways
I said I couldn't hit it sideways
just like Sister Ray saidRosey and Miss Rayon
They're busy waiting for her booster
who just got back from Carolina
said she didn't like the weather
They're busy waiting for her Sailor
who's dressed in pink and leather
(alt: who said he's just as big as ever)
He's just here from Alabama
he wants to know a way to earn a dollar
I'm searching for my mainer
I said I couldn't hit it sideways
I said I couldn't hit it sideways
just like Sister Ray saidCecil's got his new piece
He cocks and shoots it bang between three & four
He aims it at the Sailor
Shoots him down dead on the floor
Aw, you shouldn't do that
Don't you know you'll stain the carpet
Now don't you know you'll stain the carpet
And by the way have you got a dollar
Oh, no man, I haven't got the time-time
She's busy sucking on a ding-dong
He's busy sucking on my ding-dong
just like Sister Ray said
I'm searching for my mainline
I said I c-c-c-couldn't hit it sideways
I said I c-c-c-couldn't hit it sideways
just like Sister Ray saysWho's that knocking
Who's that knocking on my chamber door
Could it be the police?
They come and take me for a ride-ride
But I haven't got the time-time
She's been sucking on my ding-dong
She's busy sucking on my ding-dong
Just like Sister Ray said
I'm searching for my mainline
I couldn't hit it sideways
I couldn't hit it sideways
just like .... Sister Ray saysAlways remember I love you all. Especially those of you who hate me.