Okay, we're gonna try to stay the hell away from the ‘Net as much as possible today. I'd like to be promoted, and that just doesn't happen if you while away your work hours reading other people's journals (not to mention it gives me nothing to do late at night when I really can't sleep).
In that vein, I found a journal that I am absolutely adoring at the moment. Medea's Memoirs is the title, and I can quite honestly say that I think it's one of the best out there. It's very insightful. Heartwarming and heartbreaking, depending upon what's going on. I'd say it's like real-life ER, but I'm not a big fan of that show so I won't insult him that way. The guy gives me hope that there's good people working in our hospitals and clinics. He likes the Crash Test Dummies, so that moves him up a notch in my already high esteem of him.
Of course, I'd be lying if I didn't say he also gives me an inferiority complex. Here he is, saving lives and helping people, while I'm getting in pissing contests and just damn well struggling to move out.
I've reached that special place I go to where I don't even notice how badly the sleep dep is affecting me. Part of the problem is that C– didn't come on until late that night. I ended up talking to him for an hour and a half. Funny how it's always me who does the talking. I know some of the most personal details of his life, I know (or at least have a decent approximation of) how his head's wired; but of the mundane, I know nothing. Or nearly that.
We mutually decided that we have "escapist" fantasies, where we go far away and lose our original identities. We also decided that being a hitman would be the ideal line of wor for us. I wonder how early you have to start training?
It takes Dirk far too long to wake up....honestly, when we live together, I'm buying a cattle prod. Or anyway, a really loud goddamn alarm clock. I'm just as bad, in my own way. When I wake up in the morning, I immediately hop in the shower. After the shower, I have to recover for at least 25 minutes. Recovery involves lying down and sleeping again.
I went over to see him, and he just got paid so he bought me ciggies and we got something to eat. We couldn't hang out that long, because he had to work at ten, and I went home at 9:30.
This morning was irritating. My mother, being her usual over-strident self, managed to get on my nerves a dozen times this morning. Her latest complaint? I don't talk loudly enough.
Now, in my house, it's not a damn good idea to attract attention to yourself, a fact my father cannot seem to grasp. At best, you'll get my mother's withering scorn. At worst, she will scream at you for an extended period of time, outlining all your faults. Also, if you're angry, don't yell. Yelling at her makes my mother worse. She's the only one allowed to raise her voice in the house. I try to slink through the house unnoticed....so I don't yell. And my normal speaking tone isn't that loud unless I concentrate.
I'm going to wear myself into the ground if I don't start getting more sleep soon. It can wait ‘till later, though. Right now I'm enjoying the noises my neck makes when I move it a certain way. Oh, the joys of spending my work hours hunched in front of the computer.
We're going out with Katie tonight.
I'm going to update the cast page today. There's some people listed on there who are out of my life. I think I'll segregate it into two new sections: old people and current people. I also need to add people. I'm hesitant to put C– in there, mainly because I fear him finding the journal and taking offense
I'm paranoid, I know.
I miss spending entire days asleep with Dirk already.