Apparently, you guys don't scare easily.
I'm trying to decide if I really want to buy a new car, with my mother co-signing on the loan. Does anyone know how much power that could give her? Could she just take the car away from me if she gets pissed (which I'm sure will happen once she finds out I'm shacking up with Dirk)? I'd ask her, but she'd lie. Information is power, and she wants to be the one with power.
In case you haven't noticed, I don't like for anyone to have any control over me. (This would exclude the gov't and my job, simply because that's how the game is played. Although I wish there wasn't such a thing as personal property tax.) Especially not my mother, whose main goal in life is to make me a turbo-charged version of her. With a degree and a better job, of course.
I'm always a disappointment to somebody, except Dirk. Dirk's never disappointed in me.
Feel free to retch.
I bought my grandfather a father's day card and a birthday card. The birthday card had some shit about all the happy memories we've had together. I meant it ironically, because one of my main memories is of the time he forced me to drive a golf-cart down a gravel road and I almost landed us in a ditch. I was only nine, and he laughed at me for having no driving skills. This experience gave me complexes about driving until I was 18. I mentioned it in the card, with the little aside that I still laugh about it. I doubt my grandfather will get my point.
And what would that point be? That he is a mean-spirited bastard who never should have had kids, much less grandkids.
The father's day card was nicer. It said, "Happy Father's Day from the World's Greatest Cat!" It had a picture of a cat smirking on the front. My grandfather hates cats.
I'm bowing out of my parents' annual vacation this year. Instead, I'm going with them for a couple of days, then spending the rest of the week at home, with Dirk. It's better than an entire week of being fat on the beach. And the ponies are depressing now. They're all penned up, and they're not nearly as friendly as they used to be.
I can't complain about the office I'm working in right now. They're all so friendly (unnaturally so, I think), and the work doesn't make me ill. The only problem is the constant construction. They've got that giant jackhammer going constantly in the background, and it's becoming deafening. Apparently, they have to dig up the old building's basement before they begin construction.
I didn't do anything last night except answer e-mail. Dirk's working from 9pm to 6am until Friday, so we don't get to spend much time together. When I finally have the free time to be online, all of my old friends from AIM disappear. Not that I'm great conversation material these days....some guy looked me up via ICQ (I still don't know why) and asked me for a pic or a homepage. I sent him here, and he still wanted to see a pic. Why? What does it matter, really? He'll never meet me, I'll never meet him, and it's not as though we were even friends. He could live within 2 miles of me and I could still guarantee that we'd never meet. If he came up to me somewhere (like a grocery store) and said, "Hey, are you....." I'd look puzzled and say no. I'm just like that, especially if I don't really know someone. The list of online folks I know that I'd really want to meet is short; it consists of three people. I am not going to tell you who those three people are; they know who they are by the fact that I answer their e-mails with some regularity.
I can't make the dark circles under my eyes go away. I look like I don't sleep at night, when it's quite the opposite. I've noticed that it tends to get out of hand when I eat right before I go to bed, so I'll try eating earlier....
Maybe I'll stay offline tonight and lay in the groundwork for my novel. The one I've been working on for several years now. I think I've been going about it all wrong.
