<header>Diary 32</header>

03-02-98


I have the oddest problem: when I get enough sleep, I feel as though I'm going to die the next day. No lie. I've had the worst fatigue headache all day today, and it's because I made the mistake of going to sleep early so I could get more than 5 hours of sleep. Dirk tried to tell me it was because I fucked with my sleep cycle, but what does he know? He's an insomniac, you know.

You know, that kind of pisses me off, though. I read medical journal after medical journal, biology texts, psychology texts, and all those home medical books, so I figure I know a little something about the human body. Then Dirk hears something on NPR, or sees some weird British program on T.V. (Those Brits are all fucked-up), and tries to feed what he's heard to me as the gospel truth on the subject. I mean, fuck, I could claim that I've discovered evidence that eating 5 ounces of human hair a day is good for you. That wouldn't mean it was true. I could write books about it, do radio shows, go on talk shows. It still wouldn't make it true.

I was researching Tourrett's Syndrome today, because Ken said he had it. He used it as an excuse for not calling me, saying that his Tourrett's made it hard for him to start conversations. You know what Tourrett's is? It's a genetic disorder that results in the sufferer being twitchy, and cussing all the time. Ken twitches, all right. I think he's just uncomfortable talking to me. Good. Maybe he'll call less often.

I spent a lot of time yesterday reading "The Thief of Always". My mother (poor, benighted soul) loaned me her library card (mine's got $125.00 worth of fines on it). I read it because I've heard from a lot of people that it's a good book, and also because I thought it might help me understand the way Krisco's mind works a little better. She has a cat named after one of the characters, Carna.

I don't see the attraction. It's a children's story for adults. I mean, it's well-written, the plotline is good, etc, but it's just not worth all the rave reviews I've heard about it. Carna is a demon thingie that dies because it wanted to feel affection, comfort. Krisco relates to this character?? Good Gawd. I don't even want to consider the possible implications. They're too scary.

I don't have enough goddamn money to get a pack of ciggies. I'm seriously considering butchering Dirk's family and selling them as pork. I could get about 3 bucks out of the whole lot of them. Throw Krisco in and it'll be $3.05. I get paid on Friday, though, so if I can just tough it out for the rest of this week, I'll be ok.

Alex is blaring his Toxic Shocks From The 80's station. Honestly, I wish the radio would just break. I can't even complain about it, because he's my supervisor's pet. Maybe I'll pour superglue into the speaker one night after Alex has left. I bet that would improve things immediately.


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