07-15-99

I spent a good fifteen minutes amusing myself with the Love Calculator. Hats off to Pamie for introducing me to this marvel of the modern age. First, I compared Krisco's chances with various people.

Krisco + Agent Skatter = 49%
Krisco + Dirk = 29%
Krisco + My Ex = 73%
Krisco + My Cat = 88%
Krisco + Dirk's Dog = 26%
Krisco + Katie = 92%

Shocking, yes? I couldn't believe it either. For happiness in life, Krisco should have completely given up on guys and gone after my friend Katie. Are you paying attention, Katie? A future of happiness could be yours!

Then, I punched in my ex's name, plus various people.

My Ex + Katie = 41%
My Ex + Agent Skatter = 89%
My Ex + Dirk = 41%
My Ex + My Cat = 93%
My Ex + Dirk's Dog = 64%
My Ex + Current Girlfriend = 0%

Twice as shocking, right? Not only are my ex and his girlfriend completely incompatible, but the Love Calculator says that he's most compatible with my cat. Damn, I knew I used to see sparks flying between them whenever he came over.

Actually, Sasha seems to have been high on the compatibility scale with both of them. She's just a charmer, really.

Okay, enough fun and games for the moment. My mother's not going to San Francisco with my father now. She was going to tag along on one of his business trips, but decided the expense was too great. Let's just chalk it up to the mechanics of fate being against me.

I knew it was too good to be true.

We went to take a second look at a car Dirk's interested in buying. This time, Aaron's mechanic friend, Todd, came along. Supposedly, the car will need a new engine, because the crank shaft is broken. Todd says that's highly unlikely, because crank shafts are hard to break. Damn near impossible, in fact. So, if it isn't the crank shaft, Dirk will buy it.

However, Todd needs to look at blueprints for an ‘88 Ford Escort's engine before he'll be able to tell, and he'll need to look at the engine with a flashlight. This may happen tonight, or it may happen tomorrow night.

After looking at the car, we all went back to Todd's place. It's a small house, in a shitty part of town, but the interior is beautifully done. We watched South Park episodes that Aaron taped, and we listened to Todd pontificate on what a fantastic guard dog a rottweiler is. He's got one name Alexa, I think. It seemed friendly enough, but he warned never to get eye-level with the dog and smile showing teeth.

There are very definite reasons why I like cats better than dogs. The odor is the least of it.

There is a lighted exit sign near my desk that is driving me crazy. It's got a flourescent bulb in it, and the bulb's going bad. So, it flickers constantly. The flickering makes a noise, a sort of tinkle, like a very thin pane of glass being tapped by a large needle point. It's driving me up the wall.

I'm actually not in a very good mood today. I was organizing my e-mail, putting it into little folders with people's names on them. So I can torture myself quietly, without the hassle of having to search for e-mails from people who aren't ever going to write me again.

Regrets? Well, I've got a few.

But feeling maudlin is for other people. Prolonged sadness is for those who have that sort of free time. I'm just moody because my hormones are playing hell with me.

I'm going to leave you with the only song I remember loving from my childhood.

Once upon a time
Once when you were mine
I remember skies
Reflected in your eyes
I wonder where you are
I wonder if you think about me
Once upon a time
In your wildest dreams

Once the world was new
Our bodies felt the morning dew
That greets the brand-new day
We couldn't tear ourselves away
I wonder if you care
I wonder if you still remember
Once upon a time
In your wildest dreams

And when the music plays
And when the words are touched with sorrow
When the music plays
I hear the sound I had to follow
Once upon a time

Once beneath the stars
The universe was ours
Love was all we knew
And all I knew was you
I wonder if you know
I wonder if you think about it
Once upon a time
In your wildest dreams

And when the music plays
And when the words are touched with sorrow
When the music plays

And when the music plays
When I hear the sound I had to follow
Once upon a time

Once upon a time
Once when you were mine
I remember skies
Mirrored in your eyes
I wonder where you are
I wonder if you think about me
Once upon a time
In your wildest dreams

Goodnight