I hate being female. PMS is bad enough; what comes after is hell on earth. As soon as I can scrape up enough money for the operation, I'm having all of my "suspicious bits" (ovaries, uterus) removed. Fuck having kids. I detest them anyway.
I spent most of today sleeping, thanks to my trusty Ibuprophen. I always feel guilty when I sleep the day away. There's so much to be done, yet I'm continually finding ways to put it off.
Having my cousin live with us is definitely a bad influence. Before she came, I remember I hadn't watched T.V. in over a year. Last night, I found myself watching "Jerry Springer" of all things. Worse yet, I was cheering, along with my cousin, while two redneck girls beat the crap outta each other. I've always felt that the people who watch that show are as pathetic as the people who are guests on it. I mean, Larvae, Ken's ex, is a great follower of that show. It feels like I'm putting myself on the same scuzzy level as her whenever I watch it.
I read another book last night. It seems like I'm reading all the time now, as much as possible. Maybe it's an attempt to distract myself from everything that's going on. In another day or so, I'll run out of books again, and then what will I do? Probably run out as quick as I can and borrow some more.
I talked to C-- on aol tonight. Nothing's right between us. I don't doubt that in another couple weeks I won't hear from him at all. All he had to say was that he's been sick...wouldn't tell me what he has. He's always been kind of miserly with details. The only time I learned a lot about him at once was when he had a girlfriend. She was fairly fucked-up, and really shallow. To this day, I do not know how he put up with her as long as he did.
I found this web site that's supposedly a diary about a secret group of dominatrixes who control this country from behind the scenes. It's called "The Diaries of Ay'esha", and it's written by this guy who claims to be the slave of one of the members of this organization.Click here to read this. I'm tempted to e-mail the guy and demand to know if this is a joke or not. I really hope it's a joke. I know there's dominant/submissive relationships that extend to all areas of the people's lives, instead of just a sex thing for kicks, but an organization that's controlling the world? Too weird for my tastes. There are pictures of the guy's "mistress" if that's any help.