I've been running a crusade for about 5 years now against "The Vampire Diaries." They're a series of books, aimed at girls ages 12-14, about this girl torn between the love of two vampire brothers, Stefan and Damon. These are dangerous books. They'll suck you in, fuck your brains up, and spit you out a delusional freak.
I've got a set of these books that I don't allow myself to read, because I can feel the suction as soon as I open the cover. This undeniable urge to keep reading, until I've re-read every book in the series, regardless of the fact that I've practically memorized them. One of my good friends is still fucked-up thanks to these books, and it's all because of the emotional hooks that are carelessly strewn throughout the books. You just can't quit reading, and you start sympathizing with the characters to dangerous levels. It becomes easy to forget they're just characters.
Think I'm kidding? A couple years ago, I brought in the first book of the series, "The Awakening," for my friend Nicole to read. Another friend, Cathy, who'd read the entire series in the past, was there too. As soon as she saw the book, she picked it up and started reading it again. We had to use physical force to get the book away from her. She just wouldn't put it down.
Anyway, I was disturbed when I found out there's a web ring for sites that are about "The Vampire Diaries." Hello, promoting these psychotic books? This is dangerous stuff for young teenagers to read. It wasn't until after these books came out that vampirism became so popular, and vampire cults started springing up all over the place. I feel like I should do something, lodge a formal protest or something.
The one thing I hate about my job is my attire. Pretty frequently, I'm riding the subway, and I see some really cool looking punk guy/girl. I'll feel this instant kinship with them, but I can't just stop that leather-clad, hair-dyed guy in the subway and say, "Hey, I'm one of you!!!" I mean, I'm wearing a goddamn business suit. I might as well get "Young Republican" tattooed to my forehead when I'm in my work clothes. I can just imagine the look on that punkers face were I to summon the courage to greet him. Maybe it's just paranoia, or shyness, but I just can't get over it.
Another odd thing I've seen is those "What Would Jesus Do?" stuff in Crown Books. Trying to popularize god? I mean, they've got a whole line out of religious dog tags, zipper pulls, and cute little books.
I can tell you what Jesus would do in any situation. He'd die. Just like he supposedly did on the cross. He'd just die. And moan a lot, probably.
I should write a book about this fact, I swear.