<header>Diary 60</header>

04-02-98


It's time to dance, because yet again, I'm not pregnant! I could do without the cramps, though. I've basically spent my whole day with Dirk waiting on me hand and foot, because of the pain.

Katie A-- came to visit us today. I haven't seen her in months. She's almost exactly the same as I remembered, except she pinched my cheeks and called me cute. That constitutes a full frontal attack, and it's permissable to retaliate by ripping off her tits and feeding them to her. Other than that, it was fun. She appreciated my hamster (yup, still breathing), and all my neat-o pictures and Krisco memorabilia.

Speaking of skanks, Krisco still hasn't read my e-mail. I'm starting to think this is a conspiracy. I'm not looking forward to her spring break. I'm about to insist that Dirk come to work with me during that time period.

It was georgeous today, and not hot or humid at all. I wish my whole life could be like this, you know? I spent a lot of time sitting on my back porch.

You know, I'm going to have to start carrying a notepad everywhere I go. I always have so many things I want to discuss in my journal, but I always forget by the time I arrive home. Katie finished her part of the "Ask Captain Margaret" column. I also added a section on the Über Alles website where people can ask Captain Margaret (and sidekick, Major Barbara!) their questions. Click Here if you want to ask them a question (basically, you'll be providing Katie and I with a lot of entertainment).

My cousin and I are such bad influences on each other. We've been pretty good about our diets so far (all three days of it). Well, tonight, we were sitting and watching "Seinfeld", when we both suddenly got the urge for chocolate. So, we ran out to the gas station and got some primo Ben&Jerry's Phish Food (with the tiny fudge fishies!!). We hurried up and ate it before my parents came home from the store...just as I was running up the stairs to hide the container, my parents pulled in the driveway. By the time they came in the door, Pia and I were laughing so hard, they knew something was up. It's hard to look innocent with chocolate on your mouth.


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