<header>Diary 62</header>

04-04-98


So, the Queen of The Universe returns triumphant yet again. Any surprise?

Krisco finally read my e-mail, thanks to that note I left on her car. She cried. A lot. Probably still freaking out. Good.

I guess she's not going to e-mail me back. Too bad. I was hoping we'd be "buds". Maybe compare notes, paint each others' toenails. I'm so disappointed, I could vomit.

I'd also sent her a follow-up e-mail, with a link to Ask Captain Margaret, telling Krisco that if it was too much to bear, here was a nifty place where she could get some advice. Talk about adding insult to injury.

I was a mess earlier today, from not sleeping last night. I was also feeling hurt, suspicious, overwhelmed, and uncared-for. So, Dirk and I had another one of those "bonding sessions", as I like to call them, in the car. Basically, we each take turns getting mad or hurt until we get all touchy-feely again, and we feel refreshed. Sounds blase, but it's not. After a while, it gets almost impossible to hold it all in, and anything unspoken can curdle and just plain rot. This way, it gets all dumped out at once, and we're more than perfectly happy for a good long while.

Not the healthiest of methods, I'm certain, but if it works.....

I went shopping for a new little black dress to replace the one my mother ruined. 2 hours and a pair of aching feet later, I still hadn't found anything. All the clothing stores are full of formal wear for the fucking High School Prom. I don't even want to remember there was ever such a thing as prom, much less see what people will be wearing there.

Dirk bullied me into eating. Upon discovering that I had not eaten since Thursday, he promply had a fit and insisted we go to Taco Bell, where he "just happened" to buy a steak fajita, which he hates and knows I love. So, trying to look as dignified as possible, I ate that in about 5 seconds. I hadn't even realized I was hungry. If I don't eat for a while, the feeling of hunger starts to feel a lot like nausea, so that whenever I think of eating, I feel sick, and don't eat. Talk about destructive cycles.

I may not have found the black dress I was looking for, but I found something better....a blue sparkle bracelet!!! I haven't seen those bracelets filled with liquid and glitter since I was in elementary school. I paid two dollars for it, though....rip-off!!! When I got them years ago, they cost about 25 cents. But of course, now, they're retro. Which means they can up the cost.

The rest of our evening was pretty quiet...Dirk and I relaxed in my car (our home away from home) with a couple of pints of Ben&Jerry's, and I promptly fell asleep until it was almost time to go home. Surprisingly, Krisco went home at about 9 and stayed there. I guess some of the wind got taken out of her sails, huh?

When I got home, and started working on my site, I got an even better surprise...C-- was online!!! We even had a conversation. I think he's on a lot of drugs lately or something. He's just not the happy psychotic person I used to know.


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