A night in a strange city

For many months, Yud had a repeating dream. It was about a night in the city park and
Yud was walking up the hills of the park. He was surprised to see how crowded
the park was in this time of night.
Not only that it was crowded, there were happy, cheerful families, kids playing all over,
barking dogs, smelly bar-b-q's, and everything was shining with the help of huge projectors.
After a while, a suffocating feeling engulfed him, so he stated looking for a quiet spot.
He kept walking for a long time until he reached an empty, dark lawn.
He set down but then he saw a narrow path behind the trees. His legs
took him down the path to an old basement. He went down the stairs and
arrived to a place that looked like an underground cinema. Yud stood near the
empty entrance until he heard the sound of steps behind him. He turned around and saw the most
beautiful woman on the face of the earth.
She passed near him, smiling slightly, entering the wash-room. When he
followed her, Yud noticed her deformed ankle which was responsible for her
minor limping.
Yud, as if he was under a spell, went after her and locked himself in one of the
dozens cabins. Only the two of them were in this huge wash-room.
While sitting in his cabin, he glanced underneath the cabin's door to see when the
limping beauty will finish answering the call of nature.
When he saw her feet turning around and heard the water gushing down the
toilet, he rushed out of his cabin but was amaze to see that she was already gone.
Gone forever.. .
It was so painful and kept hurting till he found himself in his bed
with wide-open eyes and a sad and grieving feeling.

Yud worked as a bank teller. This job provided him financial security,
steady income, good social benefits and endless boredom.
He was the owner of five different seals, for different types
of documents and soon he would become an authorized representative.
He experienced a bit of dizziness every time cheques from the "labor bank",
those with the endless tiny circles, were depositing: the circles
reminded him the old "time tunnel" series on TV.
Apart from this, life were fair enough. Twice a week, after work, he
walked to his favorite cafe' on Rashi street. Favorite cafe's were those
where he knew the owners: that way he felt comfortable to sit for hours,
chat a little bit. To be alone yet not lonely.
In his life never felt a deprived of a woman's touch. He knew many women,
in different places and different types of them. But always found himself
going home with a feeling of relief when he left them.
Different people have different hobbies. Yud had an unusual hobby: the coincidence.
He loved coincidences, admired it, worshipped it. Yud actually seek it,
although he always said that seeking coincidences is a paradox. But he
kept seeking it.
One Friday, sometime in the end of August, he was invited to a party.
Yud, who didn't really like parties, had nothing else to do, agreed.
The party was OK. while chatting on the balcony with people he didn't
really know, he saw a woman. Not just a woman, but the prettiest woman he ever
saw.
Her beauty wasn't just classic in a commonly way, it was a beauty that
was made just for him.. .
Something in her smile, her gestures, the pleasant way she moved her
body while dancing, made him feel something he couldn't define. He just
knew that this feeling is so strong and so new to him.
It was as if she was there only for him, the people between
them became transparent and it seemed that even the music faded away.
Yud knew that he must have her, but he also knew that he will do nothing
about it.
He was paralyzed.
When he left the party and got to his car, he realized that she was lost
for ever. This feeling caused him a dim physical pain that accompanied him
for the next weeks.
He knew that he lost the love of his life, he lost the woman he was
looking for all his life.
Weeks and months passed and the memory became dimmer and dimmer, like
events that we have no energy to remember because of the pain they cause us.
Months later, in a cold and windy night, he stayed at home and surfed
the net. He entered one of the chat rooms, seeking a nice small-talk in
order to defeat his boredom. The name "L" caught his attention and the
conversation between them immediately fluent, as if they were old friends.
After thirty minutes he decided that he has to meet her, right away!
He told her "let's meet", and she, surprised from her own reaction, said: "OK".
Just before midnight they met in a little cafe'. It was her: the prettiest woman.
She didn't remember him and he, described her, with a child's enthusiasm,
what she wore, how she danced and with whom. Yud didn't just
remember the party scene, he actually experienced it all over again.
All the "defence mechanism" of the first (actually, the second) date
were off: Yud told her how much he was attracted to her at the party and
how he knew that one day they will be together.
"L" listened with a smile. She was enchanted.
They met again on the next day. After a week they both knew that they
were meant to be together.
Yud was the happiest man in the world. It wasn't just happy moments that
come and go through our lives from time to time without
warning. It was a steady happiness, solid and real.
When he touched her, looked at her, smelled her, it was always like the
first time, and he knew that until the end of their lives it will
be the same excitement like in the first time.
He couldn't take his hands off her, he wanted to feel her all the time.
She was laughing at him and called him: "my octopus".
In the rare days when they didn't meet each other, they liked to chat
again through the net. They enjoyed it not just because it was a
reminder to their first chat, but because it was like a higher
level in their relationship. While chatting, they could say things that were hard
to say in a real meeting.
This different method of communication created different chats.
"The medium is the message", he used to quote. .
They were joking about those chats and called them "couplehood therapy by
technology", and maybe one day they will write an article about it for
"PsychologyToday"...
After A few months together she called one day and said: "we need to talk.
I don't love you anymore". Just like that.
There are phrases and cliche's that we use all the time without really
think about them. We use them automatically, almost like a reflex, until
we forget their real meaning. Like a picture hanging on the wall for
many years until we ignore it. For the first time in his life, Yud
understood the meaning of "falling skies".
He hung up the phone and remembered a minor and meaningless scene.
This memory remained on his mind for many minutes: Two weeks
earlier, they were at her apartment and watched TV. The phone
rang and "L" ran to answer.
While running, her ankle twisted and she almost fell on the floor. On
the last second she succeeded to regain her balance back, giggled and kept
running.
The time that passed from the beginning of the falling until she
overcame it was less then two seconds, but for Yud, time stopped: he
saw the ankle twisted like a slow-motion in an action movie. He was
fascinated, yet terrified from this scene and couldn't move his eyes from her.
After the memory faded away, he realized that for the second time in his
life, she was gone forever.
The following weeks were the worst time he ever had. In the nights he
just wandered on the dark streets of Tel-Aviv and in the days he dragged
himself to work.
All women seemed to him ugly, stupid and vicious. Life itself seemed
ugly, stupid and vicious.
Yud wanted her back but knew he had no chance. He would do anything to
be with her again but nothing will be good enough.
Many places in Tel-Aviv reminded him of "L": here they met near the
square, and there, in the little garden they had their first kiss, and in
that store they bought him a new shirt, and "L", decisively told him
what looks good on him and what's not.. .
Every time he passed, what he called a "L monument", he felt deep sorrow
and sadness.
Yud realized how empty he is. He understood how "L" sucked his energy,
like a black-hole that swallows anything on its way.
"She is a consumer", he thought to himself. "Consume people for her own
needs". But he loved her so much, with all his heart.. .
Yud wandered for many hours. Staying at home was unbearable. He wandered
on the streets with tears in his eyes.
When the rain drops started to fall from the sky, he reached his
favorite cafe' on Rashi street. The place was empty. Only the owner and
two waitresses were there.
Yud asked for espresso and the owner didn't just brought the coffee, he
sat with Yud as well.
Sometimes it's easier to open your heart to someone you don't really
know. Yud knew that and never believed in it, but the circumstances did
what they usually do: Yud open his heart and told his story for more
then an hour. When he finished, the owner looked at him and said: "so
what? nothing is too traumatic".
With those words Yud went out to the street, and although they seemed
stupid to him, he couldn't forget them.
In the morning he woke up, brushed his teeth, called work and announced his resignation.
After an hour he already had a flight ticket to Bangkok.
When the plane began its final approach toward "Don-Muang" airport, Yud
felt, for the first time since she left him, something that was close to exaltation.
He never traveled alone in the past, and Bangkok was an exciting riddle
for him. He planned to spend only A few weeks there, to explore the city, to watch the
people and to let, again, coincidence to lead him down the road.
After the passport checks, on 1 AM, he went out to the big city and got
hit by the heat and humidity. In that second he knew he's going to love
this city. A hot city, sweaty, dark and mysterious.
Even after five weeks he didn't feel enough satisfaction from Bangkok.
he devoted himself to the city with love, and the city paid him back with big
doses of oblivion.
Yud tried to avoid the company of people, which is rather difficult in
such a crowded city.
He slept during the day, surrounded by two creaking fans, and
during nights he wandered in the streets.
One night he tried to sleep relatively early but couldn't fall in asleep.
The heat was unbearable and even the fans couldn't blow any
freshness on his body. Yud decided to take one last walk before trying
to sleep again. The time was about 2 AM and it seems that the city does
not intend to get any sleep.. .
The streets welcomed him with spicy smells. He walked towards the
emptiest parts of Bangkok.
He never planned his course, just walked.
In one of the main junction Yud noticed an old cab, driving fast.
At the same time a young Thai woman was crossing the road. From
the way she walked, he concluded that she was drunk. Before he figured out how and
in what language he'll warn her, she was hit by the cab. The cab driver
gazed at her for a second and fled.
The drunk girl, probably one of the many homelesses, was lying on the
black asphalt and tried to get up when Yud reached her.
Gently he raised her from the road and together they dragged themselves
towards the safe pavement.
She seemed to be not more then 16 or 17 years-old, her body was quite
dirty. They set on the edge of the pavement silently. It was stupid to start a
conversation in a language that will be meaningless to both of them.
Yud's nozzles sensed the sweat that was shining on her skin, it was
pleasant. He was surprised to feel aroused, for the first time since "L"
left his life.
The girl smiled at him, like apologizing for the inconvenience she
caused him, and spread her fingers in front of her mouth. Yud understood
and pulled-out two cigarettes.
For many minutes they just set and smoked. Two different worlds that
coincidence brought together and played with them its meaningless game.
When the flame reached the filter, they felt the bitter taste and
squeezed the cigarettes with hesitation. Her lips reached his, her
injured leg bounded around him and their bodies were attached.
Yud was led by the burst of vitality until he reached the point of no
return, point that has no past and no future.
Then he stood up and started walking.
The sunshine beams began painting the haziness over the city and Yud
kept walking. As time passed he felt more and more an unexplained
joy, every step made him cured, and for the first time in many
weeks, a first smile spread across his face.

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