The phlegm was thick and greenish-yellow, as the dying old man dislodged it from his gurgling throat. This bubbly wet mass was probably teaming with viruses as it soared through the air, only to land and stick dead center in my eye-socket. We expose ourselves every day to monsters that do not seem as harmful as they are. To prevent the effects of these demons, we must understand what they are and how they operate. I’ve chosen to warn you about monsters that stick, and categorized them as: gooey monsters, wet monsters, and sharp monsters.
Have you ever had a piece of gum stick to your hair? Gum is a gooey substance that can be monstrously stubborn to dislodge from many things, like your shoe or the carpet, but worst of all, this gummy monster is difficult to wrestle from your hair. It’s difficult to remove because the gum is so gooey. When you try to separate the hair from the gum--which is almost impossible--you end up spreading the saliva covered mass onto more hair than you originally found stuck together. By the time you figure out how to get the gum out of your hair, you’re frustrated from the struggle, embarrassed by the incident, and entangle with gooey gum from head to toe. Let me give you some advice if you’ve been attacked by the gum monster; next time gum feeds on your folic, fight back with peanut butter. Peanut butter has oil in it that will assist you in breaking the monstrous grip of the gum. The gooey gum monster will forever be gone.
Similar to gooey monsters, wet monsters can stick too. If you’ve ever washed your car, you know what I mean. As soon as you apply that last coat of wax, the infamous seagull flies overhead and drops its wet sticky blessing on the hood of your vehicle. This stinky little monster sticks to whatever it touches, as it drips and spreads on a destructive course. If this monster goes unnoticed, the destruction it leaves could cost you a great deal of money. Understand, this wet monster of dung has a secret attack. After it has strategically positioned itself on the hood of your car, the monster slowly begins to dry. If gone unnoticed for a couple of months, you might end up having to remove it with an abrasive cleaning compound; this compound could damage the paint on your vehicle. Paint repairs for a prime vehicle could total up to a $100.00 or more. My advice on battling the bird’s bottom blaster, would be to sell your car. It’s inevitable that this wet monster of dung will seek and destroy your vehicle; whether you’re in your driveway or on the road, this stinky wet monster will find you.
This next sticky monster is not gooey nor wet, but sharp. I encountered this monster one afternoon when I was playing a game with my two older brothers. I was 12 years old when this sharp monster took me by surprise, darting its way into my life. I only caught a glimpse of it as the monster quickly raced through the air and lodged itself into my forehead. I screamed in anguish as my brothers gripped the sharp monster from behind and yanked it free from my blood gushing head. A dart can be a very sticky and dangerous monster, especially when it sticks to your forehead. Be very careful when playing with this sharp and penetrative monster; you’ll never know when a friend or relative might decide to unleash it in your direction.
What monster do you fear the most? If you think that you have control over any of these sticky monsters, you might want to think again. If the demon is Dentine, dung, or darts, it will find its way into your life and stick to your unsuspected soul.
© 1999 james olmos
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