A Guide for Rediscovering Self-Confidence The young woman simply placed the gun to her head and pulled the trigger. Had she experienced a bad day or was there a cause more serious to consider? Obviously, it was the latter. She lost it. Nevertheless, many questions formulate within us while trying to understand this type of human behavior. However, by analyzing self-confidence and the effects of loosing self-confidence, we can learn how to keep a positive attitude and accept ourselves in any situation. To understand self-confidence we must know its definition. Self-confidence is an attitude that allows individuals to have positive yet realistic views of themselves in any situation they face. By understanding this definition we can see how loosing self-confidence can cost more than individuals had ever imagined. Therefore, we are going to analyze a few factors that could result in lost confidence. The first factor will be the issue of chemical imbalance in the brain, the second, continual rejection, and the third factor, physical impairment. What might have caused the suicide spoken of in the opening paragraph? Let’s examine the possibility of a chemical imbalance. Chemical imbalance occurs when a physical problem in the brain causes psychological effects, resulting in a person’s inability to feel or act normal. The brain produces many different chemicals called neurotransmitters (chemical messengers in the brain), like serotonin and acetylcholine. If one is missing, low, or excessive, it can cause behavioral changes and create emotional discomfort for unsuspecting individuals. One of these discomforts could be a loss of self-confidence. Allow me to state a case and point. A young woman was walking through a supermarket, filling her grocery-cart with goods from the shelf. From the time she passed through the checkout stand and pulled into her driveway, her mind had become controlled by a sudden surge of emotions and she found herself weeping uncontrollably at the steering wheel of her car. Her guests were going to arrive in 3 hours for her diner-party, but she suddenly felt a total loss of confidence in preparing for the evening. It seemed to her that a dark cloud of depression had unexpectedly covered her. She became extremely anxious and the expectations she put on herself overwhelmed her; this resulted in lost confidence. This behavior might have seemed normal to some, but it was not the first time this happened to her. Actually, this was the third time this month that she had been overtaken by a severe loss of confidence. She eventually discovered the root cause to be a chemical imbalance in her brain. Her physician prescribed a radical change in her diet and exercise, which resulted in a surprisingly quick recovery. Some cases of chemical imbalance require more than dietary change and an increase in exercise; but in her case, it was all her brain needed to produce the correct balance of neurotransmitters. If you see a pattern in your life that reveals seasons of depression or lost confidence, it could be the result of a chemical imbalance. By consulting a physician and having your blood tested, you can determine if chemical imbalance is the cause. Do not wait for this severe and common problem to consume your life. There is a way out--as we discovered--and it’s not suicide. Finding your way out to rediscover your confidence is not always as easy as consulting a physician. While viewing continual rejection as our second cause for lost confidence, we’ll find that a doctor’s remedy will vary with each individual. He might prescribe “proper hygiene” for those struggling with keeping relationships, or “higher education” for someone distressed with negotiating a promotion at his place of business. Those are some areas where people may find it difficult to maintain a good attitude when facing continual rejection; nonetheless, if individuals can master rejection, it will give them more confidence than they thought could be attained. Continual rejection can be simplified to one word, “No!” Some people squirm in their seats when hearing that word and others see it as a challenge. In my communications class, my college professor said, “By the time an individual turns 18, he or she will have heard the word "No" over 150,000 times!” So whether you’re aware of it or not, rejection will always be a part of your life. Nonetheless, should rejection have victory over confidence? Not at all! How you respond to rejection is the key. If you see rejection as a wild fire in the wilderness--out of control and harmful--then you will always fear it; in return, fear will consume your confidence in dealing with the fire and your response to rejection will be uncontrolled. Therefore, you need to visualize this fire of rejection as controlled. When you are able to do this, you will understand that fire provides warmth, enables you to cook, and while contained in your fireplace, sets a romantic tone. When you control your response to rejection, you can use it to inspire you, rouse you into action, and carry you closer to your goals. You only need to know how to respond to rejection, so you can use it to your advantage. Then, you will rediscover confidence. But let me ask you, should an individual see self-confidence as a general characteristic that pervades all aspects of his or her life? To answer this question, let’s consider our last cause, which is physical impairment. Viewing this cause will show a need for appropriating self-confidence within certain areas of people’s lives. Typically, individuals will have some areas of their lives where they feel quite confident, like academics and athletics; while at the same time, they do not feel at all confident in other areas, like personal appearance or social relationships. For example, a man who suffers from multiple sclerosis might feel a loss of confidence when playing football; yet, in contrast, he may feel very confident interviewing for a job. There are obviously many forms of imparities that challenge individuals, for example: loss of limb, retardation, phobias, arthritis . . . and the list continues. Nonetheless, the issue is the area where confidence is lacking within people’s lives. The man who had multiple sclerosis is better off putting his confidence in getting a job rather than playing a sport. Appropriating self-confidence will help individuals achieve balance in their lives and help them understand how to manage themselves with greater results. Although individuals may discover remedies, rediscover their self-confidence, or appropriate their confidence to the needed area in their lives, these solutions do not mean that they will be able to do everything and anything they set out to accomplish. We must remember that self-confident people have expectations that are realistic and attainable. Moreover, even when some of their expectations are not met, self-confident people continue to keep a positive attitude and accept themselves and the situations there’re facing. © 1999 james olmos o_jimmy@yahoo.com This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page