"Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all."--St. Augustine What should a person to do when ending a relationship? By understanding and applying five essential steps, you will have the answer to that question. You will also have the power to manage the awkward moment that comes with severing a relationship. I have outlined these five essential steps below, to guide you and empower you toward understanding the proper way to sever a relationship. 1. Decide on the perfect meeting place or environment to sever your relationship. This meeting place must be a neutral territory for you and your mate. It’s best to meet at a place where both of you would feel comfortable. The length of your dating relationship should act as a gauge for determining an acceptable meeting place. For example, if your dating relationship has lasted over a year, I would suggest meeting at a quiet and secluded place, like the park or the beach. These types of settings are perfect, because the vastness of the environments reflects the extent of your relationship; this correlation, in essence, creates the allusion of having more room and time to express your feelings. In contrast, if you have only been dating a few months, then meeting at a nice restaurant might be ideal. This setting works, because your relationship can end in the same fashion it began, which was most likely, intimate and spur of the moment. In any case, make sure you meet at a place that provides comfortable conditions for each of you. 2. In contrast, these are the places you should never meet to sever your relationship. Never meet at your home. Your mate might become enraged upon hearing your disturbing news; then, out of anger, he or she will have a chance to destroy your possessions. He or she might decide to alter your new coat, or decide to decorate the hood of your car by dragging a key across it. Likewise, you should never meet at your place of business because of similar reasons. Meeting in tight or confined areas, such as your car, might be harmful for both of you also. Again, if your mate becomes angry, there will not be enough space to dodge flailing fists or gesturing hands. So heed my advice, and choose a wise place to sever your relationship. 3. Call your mate and pre-arrange with him or her to meet you at a designated place that same day. Schedule the date as soon as possible. When you muster up the courage to call your mate, try to convince him or her to meet you that same day. If you procrastinate, you might change your mind or lose the courage to go through with the break-up. Follow through with your decision expeditiously. Make sure your mate meets you at the designated place, too. In other words, you should both take separate vehicles. If you decide to drive together, be prepared to have another way to get home. This simple step of pre-arranging your meeting place, will save you a considerable amount time. 4. When severing your relationship, immediately set the physical mood or tone for the moment. Your body language should reflect the sadness of the moment. You never want to seem proud or uncompassionate when sharing discomforting news with anyone. I would suggest, if you’re not sincere, to act sincere. Try to sag your shoulders, occasionally, while gazing down toward the ground. Another suggestion would be to weep. The act of weeping will definitely create a mood of sadness and sincerity. Please remember, you do not want to overdo these actions; before you meet, you may want to practice at setting this physical mood. 5. Break up gently and respectfully. Speak softly when communicating the reason for severing your relationship. Likewise, do not raise your voice louder than the tone of your surroundings. Speaking loudly will draw unneeded attention, and the hope for a gentle break up will be lost within shouts of anger and despair. It’s also best to pause occasionally when speaking; this pause provides space in your conversation for your mate to speak his or her mind. Using this type of conversation etiquette represents respect and shows a desire for open discussion. In contrast, do not dominate the conversation. I strongly advise moving slowly and cautiously through this last step. Breaking up gently and respectfully is probably the most difficult step, because it requires self control from both parties. Those are five essential steps that you can use to sever your relationship. If you apply them respectfully and humbly, you’ll be sure to walk away from your ex-relationship with the minimum amount of harm inflicted--mentally, physically, or spiritually. © 1999 james olmos o_jimmy@yahoo.com This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page