Author: Sare Bear
E-mail: keoughs@juno.com
Rating: G
Notes: Sequel to "Temporary Replacement". Warning, not for
Riley-lovers.
Dedicated To: To Felicity and Serena from BA_Fluff, I'm BEGGING that you
send out the next part of "Afraid To Fly." PLEASE??????
Disclaimer: All hail Joss! He created everything!
The Initiative and the Scooby Gang were now somewhat of alliances.
Buffy had no idea how it happened, but she knew that she didn't
particularly agree to it. They captured demons, locked them in little
cells, took away their power and pride, tested them, tortured them.
She killed them. Plain and simple. Stake or knife through the heart,
depending on what kind of demon she was facing.
She didn't torture the poor creatures.
Riley seemed to enjoy it. He said that it gave him some sort of weird
happy and that he felt powerful and prestigious. She just politely nodded
at the comment and let him continue giving his little tour around the
labratory.
What had once been a temporary replacement for her Angel was now seeming
to be more of a homocidal maniac. All he ever talked about was the
different, pleasureful ways of torturing demons and the finer aspects of
milking cows.
I mean, can you say psycho?
But really, she could understand. He wanted to impress her.
But he certainly had a very interesting way of showing it.
She sighed as he pointed out another one of the demons locked in its
cell, huddled in a corner and looking nothing more than pitiful. She gave
it a sympathetic look, for even *she*, a slayer, was feeling extremely
sorry for the soulless beings, and followed Riley out the door.
"And that's our place." He finished, grinning and broadening his chest in
pride.
She gave him a small, unsure smile. "That's great, Riley."
He didn't seem to notice. "Yeah, I know. Isn't it fascinating? You
wouldn't believe the different colors and functions of some of the organs
in those demons! I couldn't believe it when I saw how Hostile 15's heart
pumped a greenish sort of ooze-"
"Right!" She quickly cut him off, *not* liking where the topic of
discussion was going. "I'm sorry to cut you short, Riley, but I really
have to go. I'm so tired." She faked a yawn and attempted to make her
eyelids droop. "I'll see ya tomorrow."
"Yeah!" He excitedly said. "Tomorrow!"
Before he could kiss her goodnight, she quickly backed away and started
walking rather quickly to her dorm.
That was a less than wonderful date with farm-boy. Although he had seemed
sweet and nice at first, now he was simply strange and foreboding.
She smiled as she saw her best friend sitting on a bench, gazing up at
the stars in the wondrous sky. The slayer walked up to her and sat down
beside her, casting her a curious look.
"What's wrong?" Buffy asked.
The redhead sighed. "Nothing. Oz hasn't called."
Buffy gave her a small smile of reassurance, knowing the conflicting
emotions that had to be occuring inside of her. After all, she had been
through it all before. "It'll be okay, Will." She genuinely said, taking
her friend's hand and giving it a tight squeeze of encouragement.
She offered her a tiny, half-smile. "I know." She brightened suddenly,
and the blond knew a change of topic was about to occur and she somehow
dreaded it. "So, how's Riley?"
Groaning and shaking her head in disgust, she replied, "He's weird." Her
tone was so vehement that she slightly scared herself, never realizing
her great distaste for him until now.
Willow gave her a look. "Well, he's a normal guy."
"No he's not." Her voice took on a more subdued tone, and it sounded
hollow and airy to their ears. "He's a demon hunter. He's not normal.
I'll never have normal, and I should've known that by now."
Willow's mouth hung open slightly and her eyes widened in disbelief. "You
can't mean that! After everything that's happened, you can't just throw
it all away! Angel left so that you could have a normal life, and you're
just going to pretend that he didn't give you this chance? It's what
you've always wanted!"
Her eyes teared up at the mention of her old lover, but she quickly hid
her face from Willow's perceptive eyes. "I can't do it." She monotonously
said. "I just can't. It would never be what I want."
"But what you want is unattainable!" She argued.
She shrugged helplessly. "Maybe it is. But at least I won't have to be
miserable while I'm with someone else and make them miserable, too."
"So it's better being miserable by yourself?" She challenged.
Slowly nodding, she gave Willow a small smile. "Yeah, it is."
Willow slumped her shoulders in defeat and sat back against the bench.
"Fine, fine." She muttered. "But Angel left you for this chance and
you're throwing it away. Just think about what he would say to that."
"He'd lie to me." She softly replied. "He doesn't want me to be with
someone else, and I know it. He wants me to be with him. But what we
want-"
"You can't have." She finished for her. Buffy nodded, and Willow sighed
and crossed her arms over her chest. "So did you break up with Riley,
yet?"
Buffy shook my head and grimaced at the impending meeting she would have
with her not-so-loved boyfriend. "Nope. I'll do it tomorrow. Tonight...
tonight I just need to think. Be alone."
Willow stood. "I get it." She gave the slayer a sympathetic smile, before
turning on her heel and walking her way back to the dorm.
Buffy watched her go before standing up herself, slowly beginning to walk
the paths of the campus.
She knew them by heart now, from her many late night walks and patrols.
The trees and bushes seemed to surround her, to pull her into their
captivating pits of darkness. She guessed that that was the price of
being a slayer. Liking and needing the dark.
She kicked a pebble laying upon the dirt and shuffled her feet on the
ground. She was so confused. She didn't like Riley, and she realized with
contempt that she never had. She would never love anyone but Angel.
In some ways, it angered her. He had ruined her for any other man. And by
leaving her, he was denying her any chance at happiness that she had once
had. She wanted to hurt him, to both physically and mentally hurt him.
But the other part of her, the stronger part of her, wanted to go to him,
to have him take her in his protective arms and to never let her go.
Tilting her face to the sky, she gazed at the twinkling objects held
there by an unseen string. They hovered, and it almost seemed that only
one small, insignificant rumbling or shaking would cause them to come
loose from their seemingly permanent positions in the sky and to topple
to the ground.
Falling stars.
She picked out the brightest one, the one in the pack that stood out from
the rest, closed her eyes, pictured it in her mind.
A sudden memory surfaced, an innocent childhood memory. She smiled and
although it seemed silly, said the words she had so often uttered in her
younger years. "Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight. I
wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight."
She knew it was impossible, that she shouldn't be wishing upon stars when
your wishes wouldn't come true.
But still, she tried. "I wish.. I wish I could forget."
And right then, she did. She *did* wish she could forget. Because then
maybe there wouldn't be pain.
Casting one last sorrowful look into the sky, she trudged back to her
room.
