it has begun to distress me that my angst-y side, on which i based my entire life, has dried up and blown away... all for love... the pain, the horror... what price happiness? i mean, is it worth it to be happy if it means i have to *gasp!* smile and *shock!* laugh and *shriek!* stuff?!?!?! i've gone 8 days without (forgive me!) a cigarette because Andy was developing an allergy and coughing up his lungs constantly... cold turkey... no cool turkey for me... ;) we're doing a wedding today (not ours... not yet) but he's performing the ceremony and i'm watching... turns out he was doing this as a favor for a friend; the friend is marrying a girl i know... so it's that whole weird Six Degrees of Dr. Andy thing that likes to happen... he also knows one of my cool rutgers people, this chick linda that he knows from his gaming computer stuff... (forgive my infinite ignorance on the subject... everyone has flaws... one of mine is that i'm not a gamer and one of Andy's is that he _is_...)
moving on... to what i'm not sure... work is okay... hung out with the ex-girl again. i think everything is all cool there... no tension, no bitterness... not that i can tell and that is a good thing... ris hasn't been around (!!!!!) and the directly-before-Andy ex found hisself a new chickie... so all is well.
... except for shit with my best frind... i've kinda been doing that dick over all my friends for the love of my life thing that people tend to lose all their friends over... i don't mean to, but my schedule works with Andy's schedule and that means i'm not at home as often and stuff... she hasn't said anything but it feels like she's mad. she was off at school and i got used to doing my own thing, which as of now is Andy... i try to spend time, but she's moody and stuff... what-ever... lose-lose shituation.
okay, time to gloat... anyone out there know who lili haydn is? well, she's this nifty violin playing rock n' roll chick who's opening for page plant on tour... she was supposed to stop by the cherry hill store on friday to say 'ello and stuff, but she was feeling a bit ill, and didn't make it in... however, she called me at my store to apologize!!! it was so cool; she was so sweet... (it's a big deal to me so shut up!) AND!!!! i sat behind doug slack at the exhumed show friday night... that was cool... (read slacker comics. they are funny.) what can i say? i'm impressed by fame... wait no, i meant talent...
alright, is this updated enough for ya? i hope so... i promise to try to be back more often... i know you all miss me and i know you worry...
did i ever tell you you're my hero? well, there's a reason for that... -- Happy Little Goth Spice
JuLy 24, 1998
I'M GETTING MARRIED.
...and i'm happy about it...
smile, fools... your on crappy camera... but i'm not lying, it's not a joke... (sorry if anyone important is reading this that i haven't mentioned this to yet...)...
la dee da, carpe diem... something something... i'm feeling big. i am so small but accepting of that... His will be done. la dee da...
everything is so simple, if you just look at it out of someone else's eyes... take the you out of your life and then live it. do it for someone else for a change and notice the difference... feel the word feel the word feel the word... I'm in love; Andy- thank you for the gifts of me and Jesus and whatver else... I feel so stupid writing this but I can't be ashamed of being saved.
whew... life is crazy... i'm in audobon... Andy and i moved into our own place last weekend and we're doing that whole living paycheck-to-paycheck poor white trash thing... i love it... everythhing worked out realy well and happened very quickly. we saw the ad in the paper and moved in within a week's time... it's a furnished 1 bdrm with all utilities included... which comes in handy when you've got three computers running 24/7!!! Andy's been setting them up and working on his computer certification something-something... i'm so amazed that he's got all that knowledge in his head... that he understands why and how this machine works... he's so cool.
well, we got pulled over the other night... tail lights were out... but we didn't have insurance on the car, so now we've got to do the court thing and the fine thing and the getting insurance thing... crazy kids...
i got promoted... (sorry, i keep getting distracted; i'm watching _hercules_...) that's going well so far... just don't say the word 'christmas'...
hmm... TV calling... i am well... Andy is well... we are happy (save for my screw up this morning and again i humbly apologize for letting you down, love...... the cannibal show was cool (_black shampoo_: aw, yea!) we're probably getting a microwave from doug slack... saw the tori show, which was awesome, but not as great as the smaller electric factory show... new liz phair cd comes out tuesday FINALLY!!!!... whatever... blahblahblahblah...
so many words and nothing to say -- R. Lange <-- cute, yes?
ug-ust 28, 1998
Hmmm... where to begin?... I met Rob Zombie last night on South St. That was awesome... He was very cool and very sweet and he hugged us... 'Us' being myself, Liz, Jason, Joe, and Ricky (he so cool)... They're my cool ass friends who were kind and patient enuff to pick me up and make a group venture out of the wonderful Speedline and stuff. If you say they're mall rats, I'll skin you alive...It was nifty as anything... (i'm so talented with adjectives... or something...)
things are okay... I'm so GRUMPY all the fucking time because of work; i need a vacation or i'm going to burn out before X-Mess... i can't take one until we get another manager in the store... GRRR... but Andy's been dealing with me really well... he's a **understatement** sweety... he's gooder to me then he should be :)
Speaking of my Schmoopie... Andy's new job is going well. There's a lot to learn, but he picks shit up so fast... We both have my B-Day off so I ams happy...
LIZ PHAIR at the TLA on OCT 7!!!!!!!! Need I say more?
'kay... guess that's all 4 now... remember to shop the WALL for more caramal-y goodness and higher prices then Circuit City... (Wait, no! Scratch that...)
Forever Young, I want to be Forever Young... Bite Bite -- Scar C.
ah, foo... i just can't seem to keep up with this thing. i've got this happy apathy thing going on... like life is going too well to care about anything, including friends or my writing or whatever. work is hard and shitty, in a good way. christmas is coming (shh, don't tell...) and that is equally as exciting as it is scary... Assistant Manager at a mall store? what kind of hell have i gotten myself into?
i was a bit sick... urinary tract thing (thank me for sharing), which anyone who's had one knows is like having fire in your bladder... lots of blood so i was worried... but i'm taking antibiotics (yea, drugs!) and feelin' fine... OH YES! i forgot to mention
Andy is well. they put him on commission this week... we're doing very well... due to my 'condition', we haven't been knocking it so i'm all edgy... grr, need S-E-X... rrr...
what else? i miss my people... but am not up to calling anyone. i wantt o spend most of this week in my head,remembering me... sounds nice... listen to EVE 6. they are good... My birthday was a few weeks ago. got knee-high patent leather docs... (i highly recommend getting a bf with a foot fetish to all the ladies out there...:] )... went to the zoo... yea, lions!... saw one up close, it roared and stuff... so cute! started playing video games again... FF7... geez... i still suck at it... babysat for the ex-gf recently... it was awesome fun... babies are cool (praythati'mnotpregnant...) she moved to philly; wonder if she'll call? think i'm gonna have a party this week... wanna come???
so, bottom line... i've been extremely self-absorbed... and i'm happy... so you can't complain... call me, we'll talk... (what a horrible invitation... now i'll have crazy people looking up my number... oh well... no biggie...)
toodles, all... and don't forget to brush your teeth...which reminds me, i got my health benefits from work and boy do they suck -- Re- Child
