"I'm leaving," I tell her.
She looks up from her gardening. "What are you going to do?"
"I'm going to walk back out in the wilderness...for a week. I'll pray, and I'll fast...and
maybe then I can find some guidance."
"Octavian." Concern clouds her face. "You know that it may not be so easy..."
"I have to try."
"Many people have been disappointed. God works in subtle ways, sometimes...and your
path may not be--"
"Constance. In that house...it was weeks before I could use the can opener, I got sick, my
hands weren't...Constance, we were eating each other, for God's sake."
Her eyes widen, but she says nothing.
"Look, you can tell me whatever you want to, but I don't believe, I can't believe
that He didn't change me like this, that he didn't leave me alive for some
reason."
"Let me help you get some supplies together," she says softly.
I'm almost out the door when he says, "Wait."
I wait, and he runs down the hallway, reappears with that first radio I worked on.
"The radio you fixed," he says. "I want you to take it with you-- I fixed it up so you don't
need a battery."
"I don't want...I don't need any payment. The work I did was for the colony."
"Look," he says, gesturing. "Here's the solar cell, so as long as the light is on it, it's
charging...you can listen to the Emperor's station, anyway, and sometimes out there you'll
find tapes left...I gave you one in there, it's Peter Gabriel, I always... he's great. I think
you'll really like him...look, I...I want you to have it." He looks down at the radio again,
shoves it into my hands. "Just take it. Please."
"I--"
"Please."
"You know I have to do this."
"Yes, Octavian. I know. I hope you find...whatever it is you're looking for."
"So do I, Donatello."
He looks away. "Will you-- when you make your decision, to do whatever it is you're
going to do--"
"I'll come back, Don. I'll see you before I go."
"Thank you," he says dully, and leaves me alone with the radio.
Night, now, and Agrippa and I are ready to sleep, curled together in the sleeping bag
Constance loaned me.
I have been out here for seven days now. The time I allotted myself. Every morning I
have prayed; every day I have fasted from sundown to noon.
Nothing.
No signs, no visions, no guidance. Just Agrippa and I, every morning and night.
And my empty prayers.
Give me a sign. That's all I ask.
I give up. Tomorrow morning, I will go back to the settlement, and try to come to terms
with this. My failure...Constance was right. I was expecting too much. I sit up and
switch on the radio.
The classical music the Emperor seems to prefer is still on...Don says he's probably got
some kind of subliminal message planted in there, telling us to be compliant, telling us to
obey. Maybe he's right, I don't know. I was never much of a rebel...I lie down. Agrippa
moves a little closer to me. I stroke her head and wonder how much she understands.
She could be just as smart as I am, smarter, and never have a way of telling me. Not any
more.
I turn up the volume a little. Mozart, I think.
I am almost asleep when an electronic wail screeches in my ears. Like something Don
used to play at work...
"Babe," a voice shouts. "I think it worked!"
"Yeah, it's working...say something," she says.
"We're sorry, but the Emperor will not be broadcasting tonight...instead you're
hearing the Rebel channel. We're gonna be jammin' this signal as long as we can, but
when we lose the fight, you'll be able to find us on...what was that signal?"
"Ninety-three point seven."
"Right. Ninety-three point seven. Anyway...we're here in North Carolina, in what used
to be Winston-Salem, and we need you. We need everybody. What this Christian
bastard's been doing... where do we start, babe?"
"Kidnapping children," the woman says. "Enslaving people...they're forming an army of
mutant slaves. Canine mutants. And that's just the beginning..."
Canine...that means dogs.
That means me.
I walk up to the house; it looks like every light is on.
"Chet?"
No answer.
I knock, as loudly as I can.
After what seems an eternity, I hear footsteps. "Who is it?"
"Don, it's me."
"Octavian." The door flies open; he looks exhausted. "I was afraid you weren't coming
back--"
Questions fly through my head: Have you been up all night? What's going
on? "What happened to Chet?"
Don holds out the cyborg arm, and a tiny disk pops up. "Saved for when I need him
again." The disk disappears back into his arm.
"You're leaving?"
"Yes...come in, I want to finish packing..."
I follow him to a pile of bags in the corner. "You heard the radio too?"
He stops, turns to face me. "Yes."
"You're going too."
"Yes..."
"The dogs...they're my people...my--."
"The people you heard tonight," Don says. "They're my family."
--end chapter two--
On to chapter three
