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February 27, 1999
I went to church last night to make the Stations of the Cross.
As I was leaving, a man came up to me and introduced himself as George.
He asked if I could give him a ride to St. Michael's
because his car had broken down and he was to meet someone there.
I drove him up to the church but no one was there to pick him up.
Then he asked to borrow money. He needed enough to get his car fixed
so he could get back to West Virginia (where he lived).
He kept assuring me that he would send me the money as soon as he got home.
I drove to the ATM, got him some money, then drove him to the nearest Metro.
(I have not heard from him, but I continue to pray for him.)
"When the Son of Man comes in glory, escorted by all the angels of heaven,
he will sit on his royal throne, and all the nations will be assembled before him.
Then he will separate them into two groups, as a shepherd separates sheep from goats.
The sheep he will place on his right hand, the goats on his left.
The king will say to those on his right: 'Come. You have my Father's blessing!
Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world.
For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink.
I was a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me.
I was ill and you comforted me, in prison and you came to visit me.'
Then the just will ask him: 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you
or see you thirsty and give you drink? When did we welcome you away from home
or clothe you in your nakedness?
When did we visit you when you were ill or in prison?'
The king will answer them: 'I assure you,
as often as you did it for one of my least brothers, you did it for me.'"
Matthew 25:31-40
March 3, 1999
I watched one of my favorite episodes of "Touched By An Angel" tonight.
(Yes, I love that show! And I cry every time!)
It was about a little boy who knew he was going to die.
So he made a list and wouldn't "go" until everything on the list was done.
But more importantly, it was about giving thanks to God for life,
for death, for love, for family and friends, for everything!
I give thanks to God for all those things and more.
But especially for the gift of my mother and sister who have gone to be with Him.
They are one with the Light and I am happy for them,
though I miss them very much.
I am comforted by the knowledge that I will see them again.
Until that time, I am also comforted by these words...
"And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven
and the first earth were passed away...And God shall wipe away
all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither
sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be anymore pain: for the
former things are passed away. And he that sat upon the throne
said, 'Behold, I make all things new.' And he said unto me,
'Write: for these words are true and faithful.'"
Revelations 21:1,4,5
March 7, 1999
The man who sent this email to me put alot of time into it.
I have copied it here (not retyped it) to show any future vistors
that this kind of thing does not bother me or make feel ashamed or guilty in any way.
God made me Gay and I must bear my cross willingly and joyfully.
But being Gay is not my cross! My cross is having to put up with people like this...
"HOMOSEXUALITY Sexual preference for and sexual behavior between members of the
same sex, considered to be an immoral life-style and behavior pattern
throughout the biblical revelation. Only heterosexual preference and behavior
patterns are approved in Scripture as conforming to God's plan in the creation
of man and woman. Moreover, all sexual behavior is to take place in the
context of marriage. Sex is considered good so long as it takes place within
these parameters.
The Bible makes no distinction between what some today refer to as
"homosexual orientation" and homosexual behavior. Homosexual desires or
feelings are never mentioned as such in Scripture, but homosexual behavior is
strongly condemned as a deviation from God's will for human beings. Therefore,
it stands to reason that any homosexual inclination, feeling, or desire must
be seriously dealt with as a potentially dangerous temptation much like those
temptations of a heterosexual nature such as the desire to commit fornication
or adultery.
Biblical references to homosexuality are relatively few. Genesis 19:1-11
tells the story of an attempted homosexual gang rape at the house of Lot by
the wicked men of Sodom. Verse 5 mentions specifically the homosexual
intentions of the men of Sodom ("to know" referring to having sex). Lot
considers this behavior wicked (v. 7). Raping his daughters was considered the
lesser of two evils (v. 8). This evil of Sodom is mentioned elsewhere (Jer.
23:14;
Ezek. 16:49-50; 2 Pet. 2:6-10; Jude 7) in the strongest terms of
condemnation.
The term "sodomy" has its roots here. A similar story is found
in Judges 19:22-30.
In the Holiness Code of Leviticus, homosexuality is considered an
abomination (18:22), and such behavior was to be punished by death (20:13).
In the New Testament the early church also considered homosexuality as
sinful behavior. Although Jesus never mentioned such behavior, probably
because the problem never arose during His ministry among Jewish people, Paul
clearly condemned homosexuality. Romans 1:26-27 considers homosexuality to be
a sign of God's wrath upon blind sinfulness. Such behavior is considered a
degrading passion, unnatural, an indecent act, and an error, even worthy of death (Rom. 1:32).
Some of the Corinthian Christians apparently had been homosexuals (1 Cor. 6:9-11).
Having mentioned homosexuality, Paul stated that "such were some of you" (v. 11).
Through faith in Christ they had been "washed," "sanctified,"
and "justified" (v. 11).
Paul implied here that homosexual behavior is
forgivable through the gospel and that any homosexual temptations should be
resisted as seriously as those toward fornication or adultery (mentioned in v. 9).
Paul also taught that homosexuality was contrary to "sound doctrine" (1 Tim. 1:10).
The Bible does not recognize homosexuality as biologically consitutional
or hereditary (as a kind of third sex), but sees its roots in the sinful
nature of man--a psychosocial, learned behavior, expressing rebellion against
God and calling for redemption. Such persons are responsible for their
behavior. This is a very complex psychological problem with many possible
roots or causes, calling for both Christian compassion on the part of God's
people as well as God's redemptive power through the gospel. The ministry of
the church to homosexuals should include: conversion, counseling, education,
and support-group relationships."
Guy Greenfield
There were no homosexuals in Jesus' time? Is it really a recent phenomenon?
How many times has Paul been used to justify Christian hate against Homosexuals?
I heard on T.V. that a homosexual cannot be a Christian. I say you're wrong!
And I'm living proof of it! To quote Rodney King: "Can't we all just get along?"
My mother asked me how I could "choose this lifestyle".
As I told her, no one would choose to be this different, this hated, this reviled.
In a way it is a choice, though.
I AM Gay and I choose NOT to deny it. To do otherwise would be to live a lie.
April 13, 1999
Uncle Yutch died last night at 6:55pm.
He breathed his last just as the priest was finishing the Last Rites.
He had been sick for a while now, and in a coma recently.
I was sad, but it was a blessing that he was finally free from the pain.
The thing I will remember him for the most is the time when I was a teenager,
and he took me aside and told me that it was okay to be different.
It was okay to be me.
I will always love him for accepting me for who I was,
long before my own parents could.
May he rest in peace.
"He will wipe away the tears from everyone's eyes..."
Isaiah 25:8b
"To everything there is a season,
and a time to every person under heaven:
A time to be born and a time to die...
A time to weep and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn and a time to dance..."
Ecclesiastes 3:1,2a,4
March 12, 2000
I went to visit Mom at the cemetery today. It was the 16th anniversary of her death.
I placed blue silk irises there. Then Denny and I went to the cemetery in Maryland
to visit Susan's grave (her birthday was last Wednesday).
We planted daffodils and placed pink silk dogwood flowers there. As I was taking pictures,
the clouds parted and the sun came out. I took it as a sign from God that Susan is okay
and watching over us. I miss them both very much, but I have my wonderful memories
to keep me company, and they are always in my heart!
"Wherever you die I will die, and there be buried. May the LORD do so and so to me,
and more besides, if aught but death separates me from you!"
Ruth 1:17
February, 18, 2002
I received this beautiful email yesterday and wanted to share it with you.
Dear Greg:
I want to thank you for your gift that you shared with me today.
I am an art lover...not buyer--as I cannot afford it. However I roam the vast
corridors of the Internet my eyes searching for something to move me.
I found you.
I was struck dumb by your art. It is so beautiful and so powerful.
The strength-yet vulnerability....the light....the shadows....omg!
The artwork...the poetry...the pain....the love...hit me like an axehammer in
the chest.
I clicked my way through your artwork and your life and somehow I felt the most
loving presence.
This winter's day is suddenly filled with gentle sunlight here in London
town...a quiet sense of hope. My cat sits curled nose to tail in an armchair
on my mother's afghan...all is well.
So Greg...I thank you. You have a beautiful soul...and you express yourself
very well with brush, pencil and words.
Take care.
A
"In summary, then, all of you should be like-minded, sympathetic, loving toward one another,
kindly disposed, and humble. Return a blessing...that you may receive a blessing as your inheritance."
1 Peter 3:8-9
November 27, 2002
I started reading this great book I've had for awhile. The title is LIVING BUDDHA, LIVING CHRIST
by Thich Nat Hanh (my new favorite author). It inspired me to buy his book
ANGER: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames and listen to his audio CDs "The Art of Mindful Living:
How to bring Love, Compassion, and Inner Peace into Your Daily Life" and "Peace Making:
How to Be It, How to Do It, Transforming Anger through Awareness".
He is truly a gifted writer, speaker and holy man.
I'm back to meditating and already feel more calm and at peace than I have in years!
"Get rid of all bitterness, passion, and anger. No more shouting or insults, no more hateful feelings
of any sort. Instead, be kind and tender-hearted to one another, and forgive one another,
as God has forgiven you through Christ."
Ephesians 4:31-32
December 26, 2002
I miss going to Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve. I haven't been to church since I heard that Bishop on T.V.
blame Gay priests for the sex scandal in the Church. I don't miss sitting in the pew
with all those self-righteous hypocrites or listening to ignorant homilies from homophobic priests, though.
What I miss is sitting in the presence of the Lord. I still believe that Jesus is truly present in the tabernacle
and I miss talking to Him face-to-face. It's been very hard not sitting with Him every week.
I miss our time together. But I don't see how I can go back there and not be a hypocryte myself.
So I continue my exile and look elsewhere for solace...
"The Kingdom of God is within you and all around you.
Split a piece of wood and I am there. Lift a stone and you will find me."
The Gospel of Thomas 3 & 77
March 19, 2003
I got a very nice compliment from a co-worker today.
She wanted to know what I was "on" that made me so happy lately.
I told her that I was taking Zoloft®. She said that
she was just kidding, but I told her that I am actually much happier
now that I'm taking medication for my depression.
And it's TRUE! But I really shouldn't have waited till I "hit rock bottom"
before seeking help. I'm glad that I don't think of suicide anymore, either.
I really feel that I can live my life now... instead of just waiting to end it.
Anyway, her comment really made me feel good!
June 28, 2005
Wow! I haven't written on this page in a LONG time!
I got a new tattoo today... it is the sanskrit word for "freedom from anger".
Anger has been a part of my life for so long that I felt like it was taking me over!
So I decided to get a tattoo that I could see...
and that would remind me that I needed to be FREE from anger.
If I am truly free from anger, I can live a more peaceful (and therefore fulfilling) life.
I don't expect this to happen overnight, though.
I'm just going to continue to work on it... and hopefully... someday...
I may actually be FREE from ALL my anger!
"The first step toward freedom from anger is to keep the lips silent when the heart is stirred;
the next, to keep thoughts silent when the soul is upset;
the last, to be totally calm when unclean winds are blowing."
St. John Climacus (from The Spokesman-Review.com)
August 8, 2005
On my Spiritual Page, I wrote that I was searching for a new way to express my sprituality.
Well, I've been doing a lot of research (reading and practicing)
and I think I'm going to have to go with a mix of Buddhism and Christianity!
I practice meditation and yoga.
I've even been able to cut out my medication completely.
And I must admit that I am calmer, happier and more at peace then I have ever been!
My personal altar, has statues of Buddha, Kwan Yin (the goddess of compassion),
and Ganesha (Hindu god and remover of obstacles), Tibetan singing bowls,
an insence burner, a candle, and last but not least,
pictures of the Infant of Prague, Jesus, and Our Lady of Jerusalem (all by C. Bosseron Chambers).
"Are we not here to realize the ideals of universal brotherhood and eternal peace?
Are we not here to help one another and to promote mutual welfare?
Are we not here to make a grand universal home in which everybody is respected, believed, and loved?
Are we not made for some other and better purposes than being merely material,
physical, sensual, earthly, corporeal?
Are we not capable of being more than what we appear to the senses?
Are we not also living in a realm which transcends the world of sense and perception?
To these questions I answer most definitely, and say, 'yes.'"
Soyen Shaku
September 11, 2007
Six years since 9/11... a day to ponder... I found this on a web page and it made me think...
Why can't we all be more selfless instead of so selfish?
A Buddhist teacher once explained that there are three
stages in the character development of human beings: dependent, independent
and contributive. Unfortunately, most people are completely unaware of the
third, the contributive (or interdependent), state of life. For them, there
are only two options, independence or dependence.
Independence,the stand-alone self, can be a happy state because we are in
control, a necessary condition of happiness. The strong confident self
however, can easily become arrogant and isolated. But arrogance and
companionship don't mix well. It is all too likely that an arrogant person
will be unable to sustain fulfilling relationships. Instead, those
relationships will most often end in conflict and strife.
The alternative for most is dependent (or codependent) relationships.
People give respect and love, but not freely; strings are attached. This is the let's
make a deal approach to relationships, "I'll love you as long as you give me
what I need."
Life in this sort of relationship can only be an emotional roller coaster,
climbing to exhilarating highs and plunging into desperate lows. This is
because your happiness is dependent upon another's behavior--upon his
validation of your worthiness of being loved.
Happiness in any situation can not be acchieved with out a sense of control.
Depending upon another to validate that we are worthy of love gives that
person control over our emotions and our self-esteem. We have given up our power..........
-- Julian in Mexico
October 4, 2007
Nudism... am I really a nudist at heart?
I've been thinking about it a LOT this week, because I'm going to be modeling nude,
for a local artists' drawing group, soon.
I've been trying to get used to being "nude" by walking around the house that way.
I have to learn to seperate being nude from being naked.
But I'm sure that a lot of people struggle with that distinction.
I remember, when I was younger (a preteen maybe),
I used to go into the woods (in back of my house), take off all my clothes, and just run naked.
It was so exhilerating! I felt free... but more importantly... ALIVE!!!
As I got older, I guess shame took hold of my inner-nudist and I covered up.
Then, after art school, my inner-nudist came out again.
I was working full-time, in advertising, and as a go-go dancer on the weekends.
I say, go-go dancer, but I was actually a stripper in a gay club downtown.
I would dance my set, then go in the back.
The other guys would work the crowd between sets, but not me.
I was in the back... reading.
It was a liberating job, but at the same time, it was just a job.
My sister, Susan, even came to see me dance once.
Later, after I left the monastery and graduated from CUA,
I joined an artists' group and through them a nude male figure drawing group.
We were all invited to draw each other at a nude pool party... it was very casual, but also very natural.
I haven't been able to attend the drawing group in a long time, but still manage to feel connected to it via the internet.
So now that I am living out in the country, I find that my inner-nudist has resurfaced
and I'm becoming more and more comfortable with being nude... every day.
A cyber-friend (and fellow artist) has been encouraging me to shed my clothes...
thereby shedding the shame, the insecurity... and becoming comfortable with my body again.
It doesn't matter that my body isn't in great shape.
I do intend to continue to eat healthy and get plenty of exercise,
but it is what it is... and I'm okay with that.
Thanks Bob!
October 25, 2007
I modeled for a group of local artists on Tuesday night.
It was my first time nude in front of a group of people since my go-go dancing days!
But it went really well!!! It did motivate me to get me gut in shape, though.
I really didn't think it was that bad, but one of the artsist made my stomach look SO BIG...
that I knew it was time to get serious!!! They asked me to come back and model again next week, though...
so I must have done something right. I am looking forward to doing it again!
How did you find me? Email me with feedback at: dgregdenton@geocities.com
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