November 20, 2002
We thought this might happen. We didn't know it'd be so soon. I mean, even when you expect it, a loss like this can seem sudden.
Fox is gonna cancel Birds of Prey.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Dad and I have several television shows we like to see. We also have lives. Busy ones. So we have VCRs and we know how to use them. We've been taping things for years. We can set VCRs to record stuff when we're not home, we can record one station and watch another, we can hook two VCRs together and record from one tape to another and we can tape from mini-tapes in camcorders to regular sized tapes.* We can, in essence, do it all. We have years of experience between us.
And man, if we have not screwed up more recordings in the last two months than ever before. I think it all started with Witchblade.
First, a little logistics: while my Dad and I live in the same vicinity, we don't live in the same "city," meaning, basically, that we have two different cable companies. The biggest difference is when I moved out a couple years ago, I moved to UPN land. I gots it; Dad don't. I had it because I had lucked into an apartment complex where the rent included water and cable.**
But this year I moved. I moved somewhere nicer, but more expensive. I probably could've swung a cable bill, too, but I figured "Hey, it's April. If I can make it through May sweeps, I don't have to get cable until fall." And I made it by having my Dad tape Angel and the Gilmore Girls for me and taping or watching Buffy at my grandmother's house.***
Sometime during the summer, I realized I was missing season 2 of Witchblade. Not to worry, I thought to myself. It airs on TNT, and it seems they're always running a marathon of old episodes. I check online and sure enough, that weekend is the season 2 finale, so they're running all 12 episodes in a row. I call my dad to ask if he can tape them for me. He says it's do-able. For the next 2 weeks, whenever I rode my exercise bike, I'd pop in a tape and watch an episode of Witchblade.
And then I get to it... next will be the season finale. What happens with Pezzini, Gabriel, Jake, Ian and the lot? I fast-forward through the commercials, and then... nothing. What? No! There's still tape left! Where is it? I pop the cassette out. It has "Witchblade II" done in Sharpie, with my Dad's left-handed scrawl. I sigh in relief, cause I remember somewhere I've seen a "Witchblade III" tape lying around. I find it, pop it in, and this time I get... more nothing. WHAT?!? You have got to be kidding me! No! No! No!
Cable signal had gone out.
Blast. Back to tnt.com to see when they'll re-air the finale.
THIS SHOW IS NOT SCHEDULED TO AIR DURING THE NEXT THREE MONTHS.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The fall season of 2002 rolled around. I buckled down and got cable. Dad asked me if I'd resume taping Enterprise for him since I'd once again have UPN. He made a copy of the season premiere of Alias for me.
I told him my plate was full: Buffy, Angel, Smallville, Gilmore Girls and (true Joss Whedon fan as I am) I planned on giving Firefly a shot (and I did - give it one shot, that is). I couldn't possibly add Alias. But he said it was good and that this first episode would bring me up to speed, so I gave in and watched it. I didn't know the main character, Sydney, was Noel's ex-girlfriend on Felicity. ("Her name is Hannah?!?") and that her "handler" was the sweetie from the Drew Barrymore movie Never Been Kissed. I was sold; the show totally won me over.
It's bad enough that Buffy and the Gilmore Girls come on at the same time. At least I can watch one of those and tape the other. But not only do Angel and Alias air at the same time, it's also when I'm at church.
Right. So I tape Enterprise and Angel, for which I swap with Dad for the tapes he has of Alias and Birds of Prey. Mind you that the tapes are never labeled properly, if they are labeled at all. We "swap" tapes by variously leaving them in one another's kitchens, cars, workplaces, laundry, etc. Somehow, this system worked perfectly well.
For a week.
Then Dad taped Alias on a bad tape. I lost the tape with Birds of Prey. He set the VCR to record from 6:58 to 7:02 instead of 8:02. I neglected to reset the TV/VCR button and got static. He taped a whole episode in MUTE. I forgot Angel and Enterprise altogether. He taped over the episode he hadn't given to me yet. I recorded the wrong station.
What have we turned into? Have we become technically inept? Or has some higher power decided we watch too much television?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I believe that my efforts last night to see both Buffy and Gilmore Girls are a testament to my resilience of spirit when it comes to my television shows.
First, I must give another lesson in the logistics. Most everything at mine & Jaimie's apartment is either borrowed, a hand-me-down or was a gift. This is especially true of the "entertainment center" in our living room. The television is an old one that Jimmy (Jaimie's boyfriend) had. It has a nice big screen and the image is clear and all. Volume works. It has a mysterious habit of "blipping" off every once in awhile, but it always comes right back on. The only problem with it (which actually blossoms into several problems) is that one must watch TV via the VCR. The VCR is on "extended loan" from a friend of ours named Chris Wood. The only problem with the VCR is that the remote broke, so in addition to having to sit on the floor in front of it to fast-forward through commercials, we cannot set the VCR to record while we are not there.
Back to the TV. See, to watch a television show, via the VCR, the TV must be on V1 a.k.a. channel 91. But Jaimie has a Playstation2 (which also acts as our DVD player) and to use that, the TV must be set to V2 a.k.a. channel 92. Now, the funny thing is, the station cannot be changed on the TV itself. A remote must be used. Only, the TV's original remote was lost before it ever came to us and so we use one of those "universal" remotes.
And he's the little kicker: I cannot change the station from V1 to V2 or vice versa. I don't know why. I can get the remote to take the "9" but when it comes to the "1" or the "2" it Just. Doesn't. Work. On occasion, I have managed to make it work if I take out the batteries and put them back in. Surely everyone has these little foibles, right? Stuff that you just can't do even though it works for everyone else? I mean, the room can be full of people and I punch away at the remote, fruitlessly. I sigh and pass it to Jimmy. And it, of course, works fine.
This is the source of the predicament I found myself in last night. I was alone at the apartment. I turned on the TV in the living room and saw the dreaded sight: "V2" looming in the upper right corner. Oh, great. I punch and click and cajole the remote to no avail. Blast.
Oh, well. Fine. I'll just watch Buffy in my room and tape the Gilmore Girls in there, too. I pop the tape in, set it to the WB a.k.a. channel 11 and hit record. Then I hit TV/Video on the TV and switch to UPN a.k.a. channel 3. And I get no signal. Wha?
Punch. Click. Switch. Mutter. Flip. Punch. Click. Swear.
Yeah, so. It appears that I can only tape the station I am watching. Fine. Whatever. God doesn't want me to watch the Gilmore Girls. I flop down on the bed.
And then a righteous anger boils up. I have missed the last three episodes of Gilmore Girls, cause of crap like this. I'm tired of it. I'm not a weakling. I'm not a neanderthal. I can figure this out.
I hop up off the bed, eject the tape and take it back to the living room. The VCR shows no time nor station (can't fix that without the remote). I push the tape in and press record anyway. I zip back to my room and watch the teaser of Buffy, after which I leap back off the bed, jog to the living room, skid down in front of the VCR, press eject, mutter "c'mon, c'mon, c'mon" before it finally gives me the tape. I dash to my room, pop it in, press the appropriate combination of TV/VCR and TV/Video on 2 remotes that actually work for me and voila! Discover I have taped 3 minutes of the cartoon network. I flip channels until I find that the Cartoon Network is channel 34. I zoom back to the living room, jam the tape in the VCR and start counting down as I punch the "<" channel button. "33, 32, 31, 30, 29, 28, 27, 26, 25, 24..." I race back to my room, flip the correct switches and watch Buffy till the next commercial before repeating the whole process again to make sure I did it right.
And I won.
Technology will not stand between me and my pop culture.
** If you can call Apartment 711 anything that was "lucked" into.
*** The one episode of Buffy that I watched at my Grandmama's house opened with the only time they ever showed Willow & Tara naked in bed together. I don't think my Grandmother "got it."
* This description may seem fairly obvious if you are the sort who also knows how to properly use a VCR. Of course, you're reading this on the Internet. Don't forget all those poor souls out there like your grandmother or your airhead sister or pot-brained brother.