Site updated April 2000

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. It has been thirty days since my last site update, & since that time, I have created new silk screened posters for evil punk & hardcore bands, (please check out the Poster Art Gallery for new posters for the Superbowl of Hardcore, Nashville Pussy, The Reverend Horton Heat, & others,...!)I have desecrated the skin of the children you made in Your image, as can be seen in the new Tattoo Gallery, I have swayed the minds of the masses to my every whim in a new Black Market Manifesto, & also took pot shots at Cardinal John O'Connor, before I give up firearms for Lent.

Welcome to Hells' Kitchen, NYC, the mystic third eye on the forehead of the world. In all honesty, I only work in Hell's Kitchen, (actually, I need to rewrite this opening blather,... now I work in SoHo! Probably the only one hosting a site on geocities Coffeehouse who hangs in real SoHo coffeehouses on a regular basis!!) I've only smelt enough urine stained streets & played chicken with enough sociopathic cab drivers to qualify as a denizen of Hell. This is the personal homepage of Johnny the Thief, an old school, cut & paste, pseudo-intellectual, paramilitary, crusty punk, ruder than you web sight. [Ooohh... creepy double entendré!] The main purpose, outside of sheer exhibitionistic narcissism, is to have you view a bit of the world through my eyes, & assuming that doesn't drive you to self inflicted frontal lobotomy with a rusty corkscrew, maybe you'll stop & thank God that you're not me!

I'll do my best to try to make it concise, but it won't be easy, seeing how that I'm a multi tasking mother fucker, I've got talent blowing up all over the place, I've got roots in the punk & ska scene, I give pedestrians reasons to fear for their lives firing up 750cc's of two wheeled V-twin Japanese fury, a mother board burning Mac™ Daddy, harder core than thou jacked in netrunning cyberpunk, & I got a big mouth! (This is all still true, but now add skin scatching inkslinger in front of that mother fucker!) So at times I imagine that this page will have all the relative coherency found among the insane homeless, & will give all new meaning to the term 'Multiple Personality Disorder', but whatever it is I'm currently stuck on, the underlying invisible force holding the subatomic particles of this page's logic together is independence. This site is self published, self designed, self funded, & is so screaming mad independent, I'm currently stringing my own fiber optics right to your home so I can proclaim this site 100% punk rock certified D.I.Y.! So come on in, take off your steel toes, pour yourself a refreshing beverage, light another clove cigarette, & stay a while.

This site will be undergoing continual metamorphoses, the more I learn to hack code, the more you'll see. The end purpose, kids, is to make this site functional; I've been publishing since back in the day before AOHell, & there are still some punk rock holdovers in me that will never die. When punk still had single digit birthdays, Xeroxed fanzines were it's lifeblood, being one of the only ways kids could keep up on new bands, bookings, labels, what have you. Although too many momma's boys now let MTV handle those chores, we'll see how much this little slice of electromagnetically encoded silicon can do by itself. I plan on including concert listings for the NYC area, book reviews, rare shops, galleries, or clubs only found in the NY Underground, hacks, tips & tricks to add to your digital enlightenment, & other things arcane & morose that catch my purliernt interests like a bright, shiny object being waved in front of a Mongoloid child.

Also in this site: My portfolio! No time for slick corporate ad layouts, only 100% nitro burning testosterone fueled primal art! Plus, a rambling diatribe on the History of Ska, brought to you by the Foundation of Aging Anarchists, plus links to realtime actual 3D things you'll have to leave your monitor for! Consider it my virtual Molotov cocktail heaved in the general direction of the World Wide Wait. Neither I or my Internet carrier are libel for any damage inflicted by this site. Side effects of this page include bloating in women, violent brain aneurysms, & optical nerve hemorrhaging. All artwork within is copyrighted© by the original creators, & stealing any will invoke horrible voodoo curses of a flesh eating variety. All protests, hate mail, subpoenas, job offers, movie contracts, recipes for homemade nitroglycerin, DNA sequencing, original Dead Sea scrolls, or other forms of communication, especially from hooligans in the NYC vicinity, can be directed to, .. uhm, write to,.. oh, just us this: e-mail!

See that? All the way to the end, & not a psychotic episode in sight!