You thought I was cool? You were right, but

Tina is SO much cooler.

Tina, Tina, Tina. This is apparently a picture of Tina from Alvernia where she pretends to be a college student (she almost had us fooled for a semester or two), but I really wouldn't know because I'm a rotten best friend and have never been up there to visit her. I believe she's a math major and wants to teach grade school math when she gets out into the real world.
Note the accoutrement in her left hand. It's very rare to see Tina without one of her trademark cigarettes. If you ever see her without one, dial 911 immediately.
Where to begin to babble on about Tina? For starters, she (finally)got her drivers license a while back. It only took her four years. Not that I'm bitter because I had to continually borrow my parents' car, I'm just looking forward to driving down Henry Avenue with her and sticking my hand right in front of her face and playing with her daddy's stick for a change. She's proven to be a good driver and is ectremely generous with her car.
I've known Tina since I was knee high to a grasshopper (I'm not sure what that means but it sounds damned cool). We've been best friends for more years than I have fingers on one hand. I think. Close to it, at least. There have been some rough times between us, but I wouldn't trade in those years for all the tea in China. We went to the same grade school but different high schools and now different colleges. Through any and everything important that's ever happened to me, Tina's been there. I would wager that Tina knows more about me than I do. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have my Tina. I know it probably sounds cliche, but it's true. I wish I had words to do our friendship justice, but I don't and any attempt to describe our relationship would fail so miserably that I would have to beat myself about the head repeatedly for eons just to make up for my failure and I really don't have eons to spare so you'll just have to trust me on this one.
I don't know what else to tell you about Tina. I could probably go on and on for pages and pages but I think even Tina would get bored reading it so I won't. So instead I'm going to e-mail Tina and tell her how much I love her.