Handfastings




Handfasting Background

Handfasting was the old pagan ritual of marriage in the British Isles; it remained legal in Scotland all the way up to 1939, even after Lord Harwicke's Act of 1753 declared marriages in England valid only when performed by a clergyman. Previous to that act, common-law marriages had been quite acceptably validated by the couple themselves simply joining their hands in the presence of witnesses. After Lord Harwicke's Act, the Scottish border town of Gretna Green became a mecca for eloping couples who fled there to handfast themselves in legal wedlock. The handfasting gesture seems to have been derived from one of the ancient Indo-European images of male-female conjunction, the infinity sign, whose twin circles represent sun (male) and moon (female) cycles, one right-handed and the other left-handed as when the figure 8 is drawn with one clockwise and one counterclockwise circle. The right side of either sex was always considered the solar or male side, while the left side was lunar or female. Marriage, then, consisted of uniting the two right hands like an ordinary handshake, then the two left hands, so that the partners' arms formed the graphic cycles of "infinity" or completeness.

It is interesting to note that patriarchal society retained only the right-hand handshake in token of agreement, friendliness, or greeting. The use of "female" left hands was dropped, except for one purpose: to formalize the Morganatic marriage, which was known as "marriage of the left hand," by joining left hands only. This type of marriage was invented by the German nobility to allow men of rank to live openly with their lower-class concubines, having legally secured the "marriage" against any rights or claims on the part of the wife or children to inheritance, property, or family name. Its only real purpose was to place "the shield of protection around man in illicit relations." Two-handed handfasting still constituted a fully legal marriage in Europe, however, whether the blessing of the church was sought or not. Clergymen, of course, recommended that newlyweds attend church as soon as possible after the signing of the contract and the handfasting; but marriage had been for so many centuries ignored by the church, left under the jurisdiction of common law rather than canon law, that ecclesiastical rules on marriage were difficult to enforce. In Switzerland from the sixteenth to eighteenth centuries, a couple could marry each other legally just by publicly drinking together. The now-popular secular gesture of drinking through one another's linked elbows was once another way of forming the infinity sign of sexual union.

Like many other relics of paganism, the handfasting gesture was retained in children's games and traditional folk dances. Continental versions of the swing-your-partner movement call for a couple to join their hands in this same manner and whirl around each other.

The Woman's Dictionary of Symbols and Sacred Objects by Barbara G. Walker
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The Handfasting of John Wayne Little and Nicole Jane LeBoeuf

Seven-Thirty in the Evening of Saturday, June 20, 1998 in City Park, New Orleans, LA


Initial Invocations

[Groom:] Hail to the East, Powers of Air, Isis and Hermes who shine with the dawn; Stand witness to our rite, And lend us your understanding. By the wind that is our breath, Hail, and Blessed Be!

[All respond:] Hail, and Blessed Be!

[Priestess:] Hail to the South, Powers of Fire, Brigit and Baldur, who blaze at mid-day; Stand witness to our rite, And lend us your strength of passion. By the flame that burns in our heart, Hail, and Blessed Be!

[All respond:] Hail, and Blessed Be!

[Bride's Witness] Hail to the West, Powers of Water, Oshun and Danballah, who shine in the twilight; Stand witness to our rite, And lend us your fluid grace. By the sea that is our blood, Hail, and Blessed Be!

[All respond:] Hail, and Blessed Be! [Bride:] Hail to the North, Powers of Earth, Cernunnos and Gaia, who hold us through the night; Stand witness to our rite, And lend us your mountainous strength. By the earth that is our body, Hail,and Blessed Be!

[All respond:] Hail, and Blessed Be!

Opening Words and Welcome

[High Priestess (HPS):] We are witnessing today an important event in the lives of these two friends. Marriage is a religious ceremony in every culture, and each religion does it differently, reflecting the differences in faith. This is a wedding performed in the contemporary Wiccan tradition.

I welcome you to this special event in which Niki and John declare before you their commitment to one another.

Knots and Blessings

[HPS:] In our tradition, we honor those who have come before us, those we call our Elders. We respect them for the wisdom and knowledge they have acquired during their journey through life. At this time, I ask that the parents and grandparents of John and Niki come forward, to offer their blessings.

[As each Elder offers their blessings and advice, they tie a knot in the handfasting cord. Each knot represents a prayer for the couple's future life. This tradition, we are told, or one like it, is the origin of the Catholic rosary.]

Vows

[HPS:] Your marriage is intended to join you in a relationship so intimate and personal that it will change your whole beings. It offers you hope and indeed a promise of love that is true and mature, and a home that is a place of peace. To attain such love, you must commit yourselves freely and gladly.

Niki, will you love this man, And accept his love, Lean on him and uphold him, Share his sorrow and joy, Grow with him and learn from him? He will be as the God to you. Will you respect and honor him as such?

[Bride:] All of this, I swear.

[HPS:] For how long?

[Bride:] For a year and a day, for evermore, and as long as love shall last.

[HPS:] So mote it be.

[All respond:] So mote it be.

[HPS:] And you, John, will you love this woman, And accept her love, Lean on her and uphold her, Share her sorrow and joy, Grow with her and learn from her? She will be as the Goddess to you. Will you respect and honor her as such?

[Bridegroom:] All of this, I swear.

[HPS:] For how long?

[Bridegroom:] For a year and a day, for evermore, and as long as love shall last.

[HPS:] So mote it be.

[All respond:] So mote it be.

Exchange of Names

[HPS, to Bride:] What is your name?

[Bride:] Nicole Jane LeBoeuf, may the Gods hear.

[HPS:] Again, what name?

[Bride:] Nicole Jane LeBoeuf, may those around me hear.

[HPS:] Thrice: what is your name?

[Bride:] Nicole Jane LeBoeuf -- [to Bridegroom] and I give it to you.

[HPS, to Bridegroom:] What is your name?

[Bridegroom:] John Wayne Little, may the Gods hear.

[HPS:] Again, what name?

[Bridegroom:] John Wayne Little, may those around me hear.

[HPS:] Thrice: what is your name?

[Bridegroom:] John Wayne Little -- [to Bride] and I give it to you.

Rings

[HPS:] The circle is the symbol of the wheel of the year, the Sun, the Earth, and the Universe. It is the symbol of the Holiness, perfection and peace. These rings represent your unity in which your two lives are now joined in one unbroken circle, an enduring symbol of the promises which have been made.

[Bride and Groom, one after the other, give each other their rings, and say:]

In all our lives, May we be reborn in the same time, And at the same place, That we may meet and know, And remember, And love again.

The Handfasting

[The couple's right hands are bound together by a "love knot," using a yellow braid of ribbon.]

[Priestess:] A handfasting is a promise made by two people to be bound to each other through the tribulations of life. The tying of the sacred knot symbolizes their commitment to their union. The cord symbolizes the continuity of life: Two ends, each with its own character, are actually one. When they come together to be joined, they formally show us that they are committed to their love and friendship.

Let us pray: Gentle Goddess, Powerful God, attest the marriage of your children, sorrow for sorrow, and joy for joy. Bless them as they take one another to hand and heart at the setting of the sun and rising of the stars. As they join their hands, may they betroth their souls.

Cakes and Ale

[On the altar are a cake (made by a neighbor), a cake knife (given by the bride's grandmother), and two chalices (made by the bridegroom's mother) filled with red and white wine (given by the bride's parents). HPS explains to the audience the use and meaning of the athame, or ritual knife, in Wiccan practice, and declares the cake knife to be an athame for the duration of this ceremony.]

[HPS brings the athame to point downward into the chalice bearing red wine, and says,]

As the athame is to the chalice, so is man to woman, and so are you to each other: blessed in union of mind and heart, body and soul.

[Bride gives the Groom to drink of the white wine, and says,]

May your life be filled with sweetness.

[Groom holds the red wine to the Bride's lips, and says,]

May your life be filled with passion.

[One after the other, Bride and Groom feed each other a bit of cake and indulge in a bit of silliness. This is a great moment for cameras.]

The Marriage

[HPS:] I, on behalf of this company, in the presence of your friends and generations of your families here and beyond, do hereby state what cannot be by anyone granted: that you are now, in fact, Husband and Wife.

[Bride, Groom, and Witnesses sign the marriage license and certificate. Of course the Bride and Groom kiss.]

Closing Words and Prayer

[HPS:] No single event marks a marriage. A marriage is the freely chosen union of two persons. You have exchanged promises of love and visible symbols of your covenant. You have joined yourselves in a shared destiny.

We, your family and friends, have had the pleasure of accompanying you on the journey here. You arrived as two and leave as one. May you never want for light, love, plenty, or happiness. May you always find your way with each other.

Let us pray: Divine Mother, Resurrected Lord, send you blessings on Niki and John. May their home be a place of peace and may their days be good and long together. Blessed be.

Closing Invocations

[Groom:] Hail to the East, Powers of Air. We thank you for your presence and all that it brings. Our rite is ended. Go now, and may we meet again.

[Priestess:] Hail to the South, Powers of Fire. We thank you for your presence and all that it brings. Our rite is ended. Go now, and may we meet again.

[Bride's Witness:] Hail to the West, Powers of Water. We thank you for your presence and all that it brings. Our rite is ended. Go now, and may we meet again.

[Bride:] Hail to the East, Powers of Air. We thank you for your presence and all that it brings. Our rite is ended. Go now, and may we meet again.

[Couple finish off the ritual wine. Company adjourns for photos, congratulations, and a party on the other side of the bayou.]

http://members.tripod.com/~vortexae/Midsummer/ceremony.htm

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Handfasting Ritual


Preparation

Long ribbon or soft rope (~ 3 feet)

Vows to exchange (written by the couple)

Small gifts (or rings) to be exchanged by the couple.

5 rose candles (Quarter and god candle (god candle can be red))

1 white candle (Goddess candle)

Gifts from the coveners/guests for the couple.

Ritual

Cast the circle normally.

Invoke the Goddess and God normally, or as below.

HPriest: We call upon you in the guise of Eros, Kindler of desire, Bringer of love, to join us here and witness the bonding of and .

HPriestess: We call upon you in the guise of Aphrodite, Always desirous one, Sensual lover, to join us here and witness the joining of and .

Grounding meditation

The HPriest and HPriestess motion the two people to be handfasted to join them before the altar.

Couple faces the altar

HPriest: (to one of the couple, the female if the couple are of opposite gender) Do you join us here of your own free will, to acknowledge before the Lord and Lady the bond that is shared between yourself and .

Person1: (responds (hopefully this will be a yes :) if not,go to closing).

HPriestess asks the other the same thing and gets response.

Couple turn to face each other and join their left hands.

Each now recites the vows they have prepared.

HPriest: (taking the joined left hands, and the rope) Here before witnesses, and have sworn vows to each other. With this cord, I bind them to the vows that they each have made. (wrap the cord loosely around both arms) However this binding is not tied, so that neither is restricted by the other, and the binding is only enforced by both their wills.

Couple: (turning to face each other, in unison) Heart to thee, Soul to thee, Body to thee, Forever and always, So mote it be.

Coven: So mote it be.

Couple unbind thier left arms.

Couple exchange the gifts they have brought for each other. Coven members and guests give couple good wishes and/or gifts.

Great rite and Cakes and Ale.

Bid farewell to God and Goddess as usual, or as below.

HPriestess: We thank you Aphrodite, for your presence among us, And as you take your leave, we ask that you leave among us, in each of us, the ability to each be Sensual lover, and desirous one. Hail and farewell.

HPriest: We thank you Eros, for your presence here this day, And ask, as you take your leave, that you leave in each of us, the ability to be a Bringer of desire, and kindler of love.

Hail and farewell.

Dismiss the Quarters, and open the circle.

Relax, talk, and party :)

http://www.muc.de/~raistlin/rk/txt/handfasting2_ritual.txt

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Handfasting


[The following wedding ceremony was written to provide for Pagans who must of necessity be wed in the presence of the uninitiated who are not pagan and are perhaps unaware that the bride and groom are pagan.

Replace the words Bride and Groom below with the names of the happy couple. This ceremony was used by both my wife and myself and by my sister and her husband. They modified the text at the point below where it says "loving each other wholly and completely" to add the phrase "forsaking all others" as they are into monogamy. Either version works beautifully, I recommend the participants rewrite where necessary to form a legal contract that they can and will keep. It is easy to avoid being an oathbreaker if you only swear to that you will keep and avoid swearing to something just because the other party wants it or because it might be "expected" by the family. Notice: parts of this ritual were cribbed from the writings of others. I apologize in advance for failure to reference sources but after the fifteenth rewrite we had forgotten where we got the text and what was and what was not original to us. I doubt if there are quotes from other sources longer than paragraph length and thus should not be a copyright problem. If you see something that is yours, please send me mail and I will reference you in the future. Our thanks to those who paved the way. --Ryan Hunter]

[PRIEST] We have come together here in celebration of the joining together of ____bride______ and ____groom______. There are many things to say about marriage. Much wisdom concerning the joining together of two souls,has come our way through all paths of belief, and from many cultures. With each union, more knowledge is gained and more wisdom gathered. Though we are unable to give all this knowledge to these two, who stand before us, we can hope to leave with them the knowledge of love and its strengths and the anticipation of the wisdom that comes with time. The law of life is love unto all beings. Without love, life is nothing, without love, death has no redemption. Love is anterior to Life, posterior to Death, initial of Creation and the exponent of Earth. If we learn no more in life, let it be this.

Marriage is a bond to be entered into only after considerable thought and reflection. As with any aspect of life, it has its cycles, its ups and its downs, its trials and its triumphs. With full understanding of this, Groom and Bride have come here today to be joined as one in marriage.

Others would ask, at this time, who gives the bride in marriage, but, as a woman is not property to be bought and sold, given and taken, I ask simply if she comes of her own will and if she has her family's blessing.

Bride, is it true that you come of your own free will and accord?

[BRIDE] Yes, it is true.

[PRIEST] With whom do you come and whose blessings accompany you.

[FATHER] She comes with me, her father, and is accompanied by all of her family's blessings.

[PRIEST] Please join hands with your betrothed and listen to that which I am about to say.

Above you are the stars, below you are the stones, as time doth pass, remember...

Like a stone should your love be firm like a star should you love be constant. Let the powers of the mind and of the intellect guide you in your marriage, let the strength of your wills bind you together, let the power of love and desire make you happy, and the strength of your dedication make you inseparable. Be close, but not too close. Possess one another, yet be understanding. Have patience with one another, for storms will come, but they will pass quickly.

Be free in giving affection and warmth. Have no fear and let not the ways of the unenlightened give you unease, for God is with you always.

Groom, I have not the right to bind thee to Bride, only you have this right. If it be your wish, say so at this time and place your ring in her hand.

[GROOM] It is my wish.

[PRIEST] Bride, if it be your wish for Groom to be bound to you, place the ring on his finger. (places ring on Groom's left ring finger)

Bride I have not the right to bind thee to Groom only you have this right. If it be your wish, say so at this time and place your ring in his hand.

[BRIDE] It is my wish.

[PRIEST] Groom, if it be your wish for Bride to be bound to you, place the ring on her finger.(places ring on Bride's left ring finger)

(to Groom) Repeat after me:

I, (grooms full name), in the name of the spirit of God that resides within us all, by the life that courses within my blood and the love that resides within my heart, take thee (bride's full name) to my hand, my heart, and my spirit, to be my chosen one. To desire thee and be desired by thee, to possess thee, and be possessed by thee, without sin or shame, for naught can exist in the purity of my love for thee. I promise to love thee wholly and completely without restraint, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in poverty, in life and beyond, where we shall meet, remember, and love again. I shall not seek to change thee in any way. I shall respect thee, thy beliefs, thy people, and thy ways as I respect myself.

(to Bride)

I (bride's full name), in the name of the spirit of God that resides within us all, by the life that courses within my blood, and the love that resides within my heart, take thee, (Groom's full name) to my hand, my heart, and my spirit to be my chosen one. To desire and be desired by thee, to possess thee, and be possessed by thee, without sin or shame, for naught can exist in the purity of my love for thee. I promise to love thee wholly and completely without restraint, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in poverty, in life and beyond, where we shall meet, remember, and love again. I shall not seek to change thee in any way. I shall respect thee, thy beliefs, thy people, and thy ways as I respect myself.

[PRIEST] (hands chalice to the groom, saying:) May you drink your fill from the cup of love.

(Groom holds chalice to bride while she sips then bride takes chalice and holds it to groom while he sips. The chalice is then handed back to the Priest who sets it on the table. Next the Priest takes the plate of bread, giving it to the groom. Same procedure repeated with bread, groom feeding bride and bride feeding groom.)

By the power vested in me by God and the State of Alabama, I now pronounce you husband and wife. May your love so endure that its flame remains a guiding light unto you.

Submitted by: Lady Dolphina

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Handfasting

Full Ceremonial Form

PLEASE NOTE: This ritual is based roughly upon the beautiful one that can be found in Ed Fitch's book "Magical Rites from the Crystal Well". The following is a standardized form for the full ceremonial handfasting. When in actual use, this ritual may be further embellished to suit the taste of couple to be joined.

Participants:

Before the ceremony can begin, the area chosen is traditionally swept free of debris and negativity by the Maiden of the Broom, once done the ceremony commences.

High Priestess: With sword, starting at North, circling deosil, the parameter of the circle three times.

"Three times round, Once for the Daughter, Twice for the Crone, Thrice for the Mother, who sits on the throne."

High Priest: Announced in strong Voice.

"I humbly ask the attendance of the Elementals of life!"

Caller of East: Said in strong voice, whilst pouring water into a bowl.

"Welcome, O'powers of Water! Bless this couple with a love as deep as any ocean! May richness of body, of soul and of spirit be theirs ever more!"

Places bowl at eastern point of the circle, bows & retires.

Caller of South: Said in Strong Voice, whilst lighting a red candle.

"Welcome, O'powers of Fire! Ignite the Passion and the Love for this blessed pair. Ever burning, yet never consuming one or the other!"

Places candle at southern point of circle, bows & retires.

Caller of West: Said in Strong Voice, whilst igniting incense in censer.

"Welcome, O'powers of Air! With clever fingers weave tightly the bonds of Heart, Spirit and Love between these two! Let none undo the fabric of their love!"

Places censer at western point of circle, bows & retires.

Caller of North: Said in Strong Voice, whilst filling bowl with soil.

"Welcome, O'powers of Earth! Bless this man, this woman with thy strength and wisdom. To be theirs as long as love lasts!"

Places bowl at northern point of circle, bows & retires.

Callers, East, South, West & North: Said in Strong Voice, in Unision.

"Gracious Goddess, Gentle God, Grant this blessed pair thy love and protection." "Blessed Be!"

High Priest: In strong voice.

"Who comes forth at this time to petition the Lord and Lady's Attention?"

Caller of East: Said as caller draws bride into the circle.

"This Lady,"

Caller of West: Said as caller draws groom into circle.

"and this Man."

High Priestess: Said in Strong Voice.

"And their reason?"

Couple to be joined: In unision.

"For the beauty of love!"

High Priest: In strong voice, standing before altar, taking man's right hand and woman's left hand.

"We gather here this night/day in a ritual of love. You, ___Bride's_Name___ and Thee, ___(Groom's_Name___ stand here before your friends, the elements, the Lord and Lady to join together as the beginning of a family. For before there can be three, there must be two."

High Priestess: Joining couple's hands, with them facing each other.

"___Groom's_Name___, what do you have to offer this woman for her love?"

Groom: Groom gets down on one knee.

"I present to her my love and my pledge. May I never knowingly or willingly do such a thing to harm, nor greive, her in any form or fashion. Accept this my athame, as a token of my trust. Like its blade, may my love be as strong. Like its metal may our love be enduring. Accept it my love, for that which is mine is yours."

Bride: Said in Strong Voice.

"My Love, I accept your pledge, and your love, as I accept thy blade. Know what is in my heart, as I know what is in thine. The magic of my will, of my love, shall ever be thine."

High Priest: Said in Strong Voice.

"___Bride's_Name___, and what do offer in return for the love of this man?"

Bride: Said in Strong Voice.

"I present to him my love and this pledge. May I never knowingly or willingly do such a thing to harm, nor greive, him in any form or fashion. Accept this, my jewel, my treasure, as a token of my trust. Just as its bright gleam, may our love glow. Like the stone that it is its essence, may our love be as enduring. Accept it my love, for that which is mine is yours."

Groom: Said in Strong Voice.

"My Love, I accept your pledge and your love, as I accept thy jewel. Know what is in my heart, as I know what is in thine. The magic of my will, of my love, shall ever be thine."

High Priest: Binds couple's right hands in the traditional manner, In strong voice.

"May the Lord and Lady smile upon this union, and bless this couple with health and prosperity!"

High Priestess: In strong voice.

"May neither take advantage of the other. For remember what one may not provide, the other may!"

High Priest: Placing wedding bands on the fingers of the couple. In Strong Voice.

"Your Vows have now been heard by all. These rings, like your vows, are without beginning or end. Now placed, they represent a seal of your love and respect for each other."

Offering Chalice to couple to drink from. In Strong Voice.

"This is your first drink together as man and wife. May you never thrist."

High Priestess: Offering Bread to couple to eat from. In Strong Voice.

"This is your first food together as man and wife. May you never hunger."

High Priest: High Priest positions the besom.

"This will be your first act of working together as Husband and Wife."

High Priest & Priestess lead the couple to jump the broom.

High Priest: Removes binding and holds it overhead. In strong voice.

"I present to you Mrs.___Bride's_Name___ and her Husband, ___Groom's_Name___."

High Priestess: In strong voice.

"We thank the elementals of life for their attendance this day/night and ask they go forth and herald this union."

Caller of East: In strong voice, raising bowl overhead.

"Hail o'powers of water! Thank thee for thy attention! Sally forth and announce to all this union!"

Caller of South: In strong voice, raising candle overhead.

"Hail o'powers of fire! Thank thee for thy attention! Sally forth and announce to all this union!"

Caller of West: In strong voice, raising censer overhead.

"Hail o'powers of air! Thank thee for thy attention! Sally forth and announce to all this union!"

Caller of North: In strong voice, raising bowl of earth.

"Hail o'powers of earth! Thank thee for the attention! Sally forth and announce to all this union!"

High Priestess: With sword, starting at north, circling widdershin the parameter of the circle three times.

"Three Times Round, Once for the daughter, Twice for the crone, Thrice for the mother who sits upon the throne!"

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Handfasting

Full Ceremonial Form

PLEASE NOTE: This ritual is based roughly upon the beautiful one that can be found in Ed Fitch's book "Magical Rites from the Crystal Well". The following is a standardized form for the full ceremonial handfasting. When in actual use, this ritual may be further embellished to suit the taste of couple to be joined.

Participants:

Before the ceremony can begin, the area chosen is traditionally swept free of debris and negativity by the Maiden of the Broom, once done the ceremony commences.

High Priestess: With sword, starting at North, circling deosil, the parameter of the circle three times.

"Three times round, Once for the Daughter, Twice for the Crone, Thrice for the Mother, who sits on the throne."

High Priest: Announced in strong Voice.

"I humbly ask the attendance of the Elementals of life!"

Caller of East: Said in strong voice, whilst pouring water into a bowl.

"Welcome, O'powers of Water! Bless this couple with a love as deep as any ocean! May richness of body, of soul and of spirit be theirs ever more!"

Places bowl at eastern point of the circle, bows & retires.

Caller of South: Said in Strong Voice, whilst lighting a red candle.

"Welcome, O'powers of Fire! Ignite the Passion and the Love for this blessed pair. Ever burning, yet never consuming one or the other!"

Places candle at southern point of circle, bows & retires.

Caller of West: Said in Strong Voice, whilst igniting incense in censer.

"Welcome, O'powers of Air! With clever fingers weave tightly the bonds of Heart, Spirit and Love between these two! Let none undo the fabric of their love!"

Places censer at western point of circle, bows & retires.

Caller of North: Said in Strong Voice, whilst filling bowl with soil.

"Welcome, O'powers of Earth! Bless this man, this woman with thy strength and wisdom. To be theirs as long as love lasts!"

Places bowl at northern point of circle, bows & retires.

Callers, East, South, West & North: Said in Strong Voice, in Unision.

"Gracious Goddess, Gentle God, Grant this blessed pair thy love and protection." "Blessed Be!"

High Priest: In strong voice.

"Who comes forth at this time to petition the Lord and Lady's Attention?"

Caller of East: Said as caller draws bride into the circle.

"This Lady,"

Caller of West: Said as caller draws groom into circle.

"and this Man."

High Priestess: Said in Strong Voice.

"And their reason?"

Couple to be joined: In unision.

"For the beauty of love!"

High Priest: In strong voice, standing before altar, taking man's right hand and woman's left hand.

"We gather here this night/day in a ritual of love. You, ___Bride's_Name___ and Thee, ___(Groom's_Name___ stand here before your friends, the elements, the Lord and Lady to join together as the beginning of a family. For before there can be three, there must be two."

High Priestess: Joining couple's hands, with them facing each other.

"___Groom's_Name___, what do you have to offer this woman for her love?"

Groom: Groom gets down on one knee.

"I present to her my love and my pledge. May I never knowingly or willingly do such a thing to harm, nor greive, her in any form or fashion. Accept this my athame, as a token of my trust. Like its blade, may my love be as strong. Like its metal may our love be enduring. Accept it my love, for that which is mine is yours."

Bride: Said in Strong Voice.

"My Love, I accept your pledge, and your love, as I accept thy blade. Know what is in my heart, as I know what is in thine. The magic of my will, of my love, shall ever be thine."

High Priest: Said in Strong Voice.

"___Bride's_Name___, and what do offer in return for the love of this man?"

Bride: Said in Strong Voice.

"I present to him my love and this pledge. May I never knowingly or willingly do such a thing to harm, nor greive, him in any form or fashion. Accept this, my jewel, my treasure, as a token of my trust. Just as its bright gleam, may our love glow. Like the stone that it is its essence, may our love be as enduring. Accept it my love, for that which is mine is yours."

Groom: Said in Strong Voice.

"My Love, I accept your pledge and your love, as I accept thy jewel. Know what is in my heart, as I know what is in thine. The magic of my will, of my love, shall ever be thine."

High Priest: Binds couple's right hands in the traditional manner, In strong voice.

"May the Lord and Lady smile upon this union, and bless this couple with health and prosperity!"

High Priestess: In strong voice.

"May neither take advantage of the other. For remember what one may not provide, the other may!"

High Priest: Placing wedding bands on the fingers of the couple. In Strong Voice.

"Your Vows have now been heard by all. These rings, like your vows, are without beginning or end. Now placed, they represent a seal of your love and respect for each other."

Offering Chalice to couple to drink from. In Strong Voice.

"This is your first drink together as man and wife. May you never thrist."

High Priestess: Offering Bread to couple to eat from. In Strong Voice.

"This is your first food together as man and wife. May you never hunger."

High Priest: High Priest positions the besom.

"This will be your first act of working together as Husband and Wife."

High Priest & Priestess lead the couple to jump the broom.

High Priest: Removes binding and holds it overhead. In strong voice.

"I present to you Mrs.___Bride's_Name___ and her Husband, ___Groom's_Name___."

High Priestess: In strong voice.

"We thank the elementals of life for their attendance this day/night and ask they go forth and herald this union."

Caller of East: In strong voice, raising bowl overhead.

"Hail o'powers of water! Thank thee for thy attention! Sally forth and announce to all this union!"

Caller of South: In strong voice, raising candle overhead.

"Hail o'powers of fire! Thank thee for thy attention! Sally forth and announce to all this union!"

Caller of West: In strong voice, raising censer overhead.

"Hail o'powers of air! Thank thee for thy attention! Sally forth and announce to all this union!"

Caller of North: In strong voice, raising bowl of earth.

"Hail o'powers of earth! Thank thee for the attention! Sally forth and announce to all this union!"

High Priestess: With sword, starting at north, circling widdershin the parameter of the circle three times.

"Three Times Round, Once for the daughter, Twice for the crone, Thrice for the mother who sits upon the throne!"

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Handfasting

Our tradition (Fam. Trad.) uses a lovely ceremony I will post here. You may use any or all of it that pleases you.

Our bride wears white with red Witches cord at waist, groom wears red with white Witches cord.There is a procession led by the High Priestess bearing the wand,and the High Priest carrying the bells.The bride and groom are escorted by two pages. At altar the Hps.lights candles (red & white) and Incense (Rose & Frankincense). After charging the circle the Highpriestess who officiates says:

We gather here this Night (day) to bind together this man and woman in a ritual of love. Let all who stand within this circle be here of their own free will and accord in peace and love.We charge this Circle to be filled with love. May this sacred space be consecrated before the Gods and Goddesses and may it be a Guardian and Protection for the work we do this night (day). Let (name)and(name) stand here before us and in the Presence of the Ancient Ones.

Hps goes to the East: Be with us here oh Spirits of the Air With your breath of life, join the bonds between these two and tie them tightly.

South: Be with us here oh Beings of Fire. Give their love and passion your own all consuming ardor.

West: Be with us here of Beings of Water. Grant these two the deepest of love richness of body, soul and spirit.

North: Be with us here, oh Spirits of Earth, Let your strength and constancy be theirs for as long as they desire to be together.

Blessed Goddess and Laughing God, look with joy on this Union of this man and this woman. Grant them harmony and beauty in their lives and let them be always mindful of their commitment, one to the other. Let them so live together that their joy of each other will be a shining beacon for all to see. Give to these two your love and protection. SMIB.

The Priest and Priestess each hold an end of the wand and place the rings on it. The B&G each place their right hand over the rings on the wand.

The Hps says:Above you the Stars Below you the stones,As time passes remember this; Like a stone your love should be firm, Be close, yet not so close that you restrict one another. Possess one another yet grant each other freedom to grow. Be understanding and compassionate. Have patience with each other, for storms may come, but they will quickly go.Be free in giving warmth and affection, make love often and be sensuous to one another. Fear not lest the ways or words of the unenlightened give you unease, for the God and Goddess are with you now and always.

To the bride: Is it you wish to become one with this man? To the groom, Is it your wish to become one with this woman? Take the charged rings from the wand and hand them to each in turn.

As they place the rings on each other they say: Let this circle of Gold reflect the circle in which we stand to be a constant reminder of the pledges exchanged. Let it remind us daily of the wheel of life and the unbroken cycles of eternity.

The B & G drink out of the Chalice as the HPS says...As you share this cup this night(day) so may you share your lives and fortunes.

The B&G remove their Witches cords and hand them to the HPs who asks the B&G to face each other and hold hands. She then binds their hands with the cords and says...As we bind together this man and this woman with these cords let their fates and future be so bound. May they hold fast to each other, even as they are now held fast.

Hps removes cords and hands them to the pages.

Hps says: As the God and Goddess and the Ancient Ones are witness to these rites I now proclaim you to be wed, one to the other. SMIB. (Here the B & G kiss).

The HPS goes to each of the four corners dismissing the elements in turn by saying: We dismiss you now, Oh spirits of air (earth,fire,water,) and ask you to return to your elemental home harming none as you go and taking with you our thanks for your attendance.

And then at altar,: Dear Lady, Mother of us all,Blessed Lord of the Woodland.. We thank you for your Attendance in our Sacred Circle and ask your blessings on this couple and on the work we have performed here this night (day). We dismiss you now to your areas of governance, harming none as you go and taking with you our thanks and love.

As we unwind our circle we place before this newly bound couple our offerings of flowers to bring beauty to their lives and as they represent the God and Goddess this night (day) we ask their blessings on each of us. Merry meet and merry part and merry meet again.

The circle unwinds from the North with each guest (circle member) kneeling before the B & G and placing fresh flowers before them.As they kneel the B & G touches each person on the forehead.

The guests leave the altar area after this followed by the B & G, then the pages and finally the Hp & Hps.

Lady Ardane.
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Handfasting Prayer

By Larkspur

"Marry me under a garland of stars,

Conifers silent witness

To night wind's echoed vows.

Bearing our promises upward

Through universal whiteness

To the sepulchre of God.

Touch me once for all time,

All lives that are to be...

Our love enshrined.

Marry me under the gaze of stars.

Celestial concourse, bless our joy

Now and forevermore..."

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Some Marriage and Handfasting Traditions


In West African tradition, it is customary for the entire wedding party to process into the sanctuary to the pulsating rhythms of the drums - groom included! (Africa)


Cowrie shells, which encourage fertility, are worn in bridal necklaces used to trim gowns, jackets, and headpieces in silver and white- as decorative accents. The shell is also used for purification, and as a symbol of beauty and power. (Africa)


The bride's hands and nails with an intricate henna (a blackish-red dye) design; the stain endures for one year, an outward emblem of her newlywed status. (Africa)


Two white doves may be released to signify love and happiness. (Armenia)


There is a Chinese tradition that says a bride and groom should marry on the half-hour, rather than the top of the hour. This way the couple begins their new lives together on an "up-swing" as the hands of the clock will be moving up, not down! (China)


During the wedding ceremony, the bride and groom drink wine and honey from goblets tied together with red string -- the red color signifying love and joy. (China)


Friends would sneak into the bride's yard to plant a tree, then decorate it with ribbons and painted eggshells. Legend said she would live as long as the tree. (The Czech Republic)


Brides in the countryside carry on the very old custom of wearing a wreath of rosemary, which symbolizes remembrance. The wreath is woven for each bride on her wedding eve by her friends as a wish for wisdom, love, and loyalty. (The Czech Republic)


New! A Gate of Honor is erected in front of the house of the bride's parents. It consists of a long garland of pine branches, put up as an inverted-U to form an archway. It can be attached around the doorway, or freestanding somewhere across the path leading to the house. In some cases, branches from beech or oak have been used instead of pine. (Denmark)


In medieval England, guests brought small cakes and piled them in the center of a table, challenging the bride and groom to kiss over them. (England)


After the wedding, unmarried women dance in a circle around the blindfolded bride, waiting for her to place her headpiece on someone's head. It is thought that whoever she crowns will be the next to wed. (Finland)


During the ceremony, the bride carries salt and bread in her pocket to bless the union with plenty and the groom carries grain, for wealth and good fortune. (Germany)


An old German tradition involves laying fir boughs along the path of the bride and groom as they leave their place of worship after the ceremony, to pave their first newlywed steps with fresh, greenery that symbolizes hope, luck, and fertility. (Germany)


At the ceremony, the bride and groom are "crowned" by the best man to show that the couple are the King and Queen of their union as man and wife. (Greece)


Roumanian Gypsies have a tradition of paying off the devil at a wedding, so that he will not put the evil eye on the marriage. This is accomplished by the bride placing a silver coin under her left arm and holding it there, with her arm tight against her body, for the duration of the ceremony. Then, as she and her new husband leave the wedding site, she will allow the coin to fall inconspicuously to the ground. Anyone who later finds the coin will enjoy seven years of good fortune, they say.(Gypsy)


The groom's brother sprinkles flower petals (to ward off evil) on the bridal couple at the end of the ceremony. (India)


In India, sweets (to represent a sweet life), eggs (to represent fertility), and money (to represent prosperity) are important elements of a traditional wedding ceremony. (India)


Happily married women hold a sheer cloth over the head of the wedding pair during the ceremony for luck. (Iran)


In Ireland, English lavendar is a traditional herb often used in the bouquet. Also, it is common for the bride to braid her hair; this is considered a sacred way to retain female power and luck. (Ireland)


The bride and groom take nine sips of sake (rice wine); tradition states that after the first sip they are officially husband and wife. (Japan)


New! The couple, at their reception, are given the "elements of life", bread and salt, so as never to hunger, wine and honey for everything good in their life together. (Lithuania)


Before the couple begins their first dance as husband and wife, guests form a heart shaped ring around them. (Mexico)


Among the Navaho, the traditional bride's dress includes four colors, each representing a direction of the compass: black for the north, blue for the south, orange for the west, and white for the east. During the ceremony the couple would face east, in the direction from which the sun rises, to represent their new beginning. (Native America)


The bride and groom wash their hands to symbolically rid themselves of evil and loves from their past. (Native America)


After a Dutch wedding, the couple plants lily-of-the-valley in their garden so that they can renew their love for one another every year when the plant blooms. (The Netherlands)


In Norway, Brudlaupskling, a wedding cake made of bread, dates back to the days when white flour was rare on Norwegian farms, and foods containing it were greatly admired. The bread is topped with a mixture of cheese, cream, and syrup, then folded over and cut into small squares. (Norway)


The bride's family strings hundreds of brightly colored lights around the house in anticipation of the wedding. (Pakistan)


One Polish tradition is the "unveiling." Everyone forms a circle around the bride. Her mother takes the bride's veil off (symbolizing the bride's becoming a woman) and places it on the head of the maid of honor who then waltzes with the best man for a few minutes. She then passes the veil to the next bridesmaid, etc. Each bridesmaid represents an angel bestowing gifts on the couple. (Poland)


The sharing of rye bread, salt and wine is an old Polish tradition. At the wedding reception, the parents of the bride and groom, greet the newly married couple with bread, which is lightly sprinkled with salt and a goblet of wine. (Poland)


A lovely tradition that symbolically welcomes the bride into her groom's family or clan involves the groom draping a shawl or sash in his clan's tartan over the shoulders of his bride just after they have exchanged vows. (Scotland)


A wedding dress of blue was said to carry the love of the couple forever. For her shoes, the right show was put on first to bring luck, and into the left shoe was placed a silver coin to carry prosperity into the marriage. (Scotland)


At ceremonies, cheese and bread was offered to the couple to provide them with an abundant future. On the outer islands, chicken was a necessary party of every wedding meal for the same reason. (Scotland)


In the Ukraine, couples share korovai rather than a cake. Korovai is a sacred wedding bread decorated with symbolic motifs that represent eternity and the joining together of two families. (Ukraine)


Welsh brides used to give their attendants myrtle in their bouquets, to be planted later; tradition held that if the plant grew, the grower would be married. (Wales)

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