Does the Homeland Security Advisory System scare you more than terrorists?
Are you having a hard time making the pretty, color-coded warnings relevant to your life?
Never fear! I've taken on the Homeland Security Advisory System and revamped for the fearless,
enlightened individual you must be if you stumbled onto this web page. Be sure to check in frequently as
its status may be upgraded at any moment to help combat the terrorism our own government
and news media inflict upon us!
Jess' Homeland InSecurity Advisory System
| UNPRETENTIOUS
(Green) |
This condition is declared when the government isn't trying to
scare everyone. Likely they wish to lure us into complaisant
behavior and consuming products as normal. Don't be fooled:
feel free to be nice to everyone you interact with. |
| CONCERNED
(Blue)
|
This condition is declared when the government just wants to make
you a little nervous. Now would be a good day to make sure
lines of communication are open between you and loved ones. Do
something to cheer up someone who seems blue. |
| UPSTANDING
(Yellow)
|
An Upstanding Condition is declared when the government
freely admits it is spying on us. Be especially alert of any
increasing surveillance in critical locations and put up an anti-war
poster there where Big Brother is sure to see it. Wink at any
peeping toms. |
| UPLIFTED
(Orange)
|
An Uplifted Condition is declared when there is a high risk of
someone being emotionally traumatized by the fear and anxiety the government
is imposing on everyone around the world. Take additional
precautions at public events as the police will be working
overtime. Make a new friend today. |
| SUBLIME (Pink)
|
A Sublime Condition calls out for the best in everyone. Love
thy neighbor, make cookies, volunteer at a soup kitchen, work to end
war/fear/hunger/disease/racism/sexism. This is a great day for
some civil disobedience! |
|
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Today's Anti-Terror Alert Status is:
|Home|
NOTE: The maker of this web page will not take responsibility
for any unpleasant situations which might arise from you, or anyone else,
following the advice listed here. If you get incarcerated, deported, shot, arrested,
assassinated, or martyred in some horrific and glorious fashion you are on your
own.