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I've never met anyone
Who appreciates me more
Like Dylan said: "It's like I
never had a thought before"
Nothing could have existed
Before I met you
Now that I know you
I can never forget you
Lea Love
I saw her standing
Staring into emptiness
Her eyes
The coldest blue
Her heart the warmest red
I could
Only say “who
Are you?” is all I said
She let
Others say it
I didn’t need to know
An aura
Which finally fit
The day I saw her soul
Dedicated to the moment I met Lea at Nina's
16th b-day party, Saturday, January 29, 2005.
The wind blows right through
Him with ne’er one sigh
Is there anything he can do?
When a lonely man has no alibis
His heart, crest-fallen, like an earth trodden ridge
For there’s more a hello than goodbye
An island without a single bridge
For this lonely man with no alibis
No one sees purity that he’s put out since birth
Everyone knows someone to lie
So one will be guilty of every sin of this earth
For a lonely man has no alibis
An audience comprised
Everyone, only her
Eyes this final prize
Merely my conjecture
Should the roses come to me
This tragedy, now a fairytale
Is merely what I would want it to be
And this show shall surely fail
I've only just met her
Yet I'll never forget her
In this mind my first book has already been made
Why am I so happy when I should only be afraid?
I shall ride this bliss all night
And hope that it lasts throughout the day
Maybe all these thoughts take flight
And will with wisdom wisk her, too, away
I could close them for a moment
And hope the darkness I only see
But I never met someone so heaven sent
Who's very thought is blinding me
I've lost all rhyme and reason
My logic is only an empty sound
What's the future? We'll have to see then
If there's anything to be found
I know the harder I think
Of her
The faster that I will sink
From her
I speak half-lies with good wording about my past
For it was so sad and morose
Every second wishing the next one wouldn't last
Somehow from this ash, I arose
I took to the brook
Where a desert once thorned me
This water is all it took
And it is upon she that has born me
I never knew it this simple
I've always avoided the game
Yesterday, I had no soul
But today, I'm not the same
How minutes seeming seconds fast
I would want her and with the world, "Away!"
Her eyes sparkle diamonds passed
Man Ray on his brightest drag of a day
In this forgotten one-way memory keeping
I think she thought she caught me sleeping
Her nails dragged across my leg, appearing
Pulling me up, inches from her face am nearing
I would I had these words to say
Too soon can this all come into play
Though I'm already 153 miles from her
And with my own eyes, do I finally see 'er
Dedicated to a crush, Ashley.
Peter Murphy said: "Small talk stinks."
This social-anxiety disorders my day
My heart -- it doesn't matter what it thinks
It won't stay when it's already gone away
Elvis said: "Only fools rush in."
I'm desperate for someone like you
And why not you? Let it begin
I don't need tomorrow when I've already thought it through
Dedicated to my friend, Nicole.
Warm wind whispers confessions of everything
With caresses that belong to someone more than me
The night’s locked and loaded, ready to open fire
On my heart and desire with stillness and simplicity
Nature’s energy invigorates and elates
If I saw nature’s child for someone more than me
I would be passed this so-called disease of
Love, lust, pride, generosity, and ecstasy
I want to see God’s love everywhere
I thought I’d only see it by showing people I care
Notes unanswered might as well be undelivered
And phone calls and voicemails might as well go unheard
Why should I expect anything from anyone?
Because once I felt the warmth of the sun
And now sit staring down the cold barrel of a gun
I can make people laugh all I want to
But I know there’s not much I can do
To win the affections of others would be untrue
“I’m not happy, because I must not have enough of you,”
I look to God with sunken soul and say.
Like Job, I feel as if everything’s being taken away
My world’s crashing closed at the end of May
If I say your God’s little blessing that’s not saying enough
Of how resilient your love is, even when times are rough
You replace my stress with so much happiness. If only you knew
That I would explode, if I saw you anymore than I do
Your smile, so-glad-to-see-me, is what I love about you most
What I love least is your story of the Queen Mary ghost
I hurt from the non-stop laughter and my endless grin
That started when I met you and I hope will never end
We have friendship flowers
You got a pink one and I got one of blue
I had fun dancing for hours
Just as I knew: I’d have the best time with you
Thankfully she’s transparent
With inspiration just inside there
I look and love the feelings generated
But I will never abide there
I can’t count the amount
Of words crowded in a room
Finding form through a fountain pen
Only to flower forth and bloom
I thank God for all the inspiration this Muse is for me
But beg for resolution, because this girl is not for me
I love her too much to hate her
And my every intention is pure
Even though she doubted them an hour ago
When I arrived for coffee, not saying hello
Some people see magic daily as an unfolding brochure
While I only see the magic everyday spent with her
Without even a word or a glance
Words begin to form and dance
The sun of her smile’s the only thing that shines on my solace
Dreaming in her home, she said “Finally” when we kiss
I hated waking up to the cruel reality of this surreal world
Where there’s no novelty in me being a boy and her a girl
Poetry surrounds her whenever we’re together:
Every line and every part of her
Working perfectly together
Like Helen of Troy
She causes conflict…in my heart
I can’t put up with my discontented soul:
Seeing her standing there, looking like she cares
But not finding these feelings something shared
I just saw her now, angelic light dancing dizzily about her
I have never seen anyone’s aura, until I saw her today
Aware only of her and my heart, shaking my body
Feigning the calmness my heart would never know
I translated this spiritual moment into mortal words
“Well, you look nice, today” in that smile, in those overalls
She said she looked trashy, today. I quickly agreed
Afraid for a moment that she realized how I really saw her
The thought had already crossed my mind last Monday:
Unattractive, physical traits could drive this disease of love away,
But I was merely mistaken, because I was passed physical
I was passed her, even though she consumes both night and day
We sat in the dark together with our eyes closed
Soaking in the atmosphere of the Cure
Anyone seeing us would have thought it mutual meditation
While she meditated on the mood, I meditated on her
That “pixie from heaven” laying there on the couch
Pretty in Pink in the forefront for her and the background for me
She was in the forefront – every moment was for her
I entertained her with: cookies and creme ice cream,
two glasses of Livingston’s Red Rose, popcorn, and RedVines
She entertained me with her gaze on the television
Her silent, adorable profile too lost to notice my admiration
We exchanged consecutive glances at one another
When the other wasn’t looking, finally hiding my face in a bowl
“You can’t hide from me” she told me, but I can and I will
I hide my love for her so well that she flipped me off several times
The face of Death in my calendar couldn’t scare her
Finally falling asleep in the comfort of my presence
I finished the movie without her and took her home
We parked in the dark, listening to her favorite song
She sang to me as she threw my keys on the dashboard:
“I wish I was anywhere with anyone making out”
But left me without even our usual embrace
Her laughter humiliates me
Because while
She laughs at me
I cry for her
Loving so many in word, apathetic to just one in need
Falling by the wayside a waste of a hide to let them feed
On their self-glorifying pity for
A person shrugged off tomorrow
Suffering’s silence, so easy to ignore
They die easy, acting like they don’t know
Your eyes are my favorite color
I can’t control the way they make me feel
They’ve been stolen and misused, but they’ll heal
Your eyes are my favorite color
Your grief’s the same grave I sit in
Tortured ‘till Tuesday – another day further from weakness felt last weekend
Your eyes are my favorite color
They cry out to me and for me
I read your tears as I would read a story
Your eyes are my favorite color
A stab in the dark found and penetrated heart
I feel and I feel, only to feel ripped apart
Your eyes are my favorite color
Vague vibrations felt in still life form
Shake awake the notion that your life lies next to mine
Your eyes are my favorite color
I’m distracted from them at the touch of your heel
Which brings me inches closer to that green color so unreal
Put my self on the shelf with my stung soul
Stripes are no camouflage in an urban jungle
Red rose up and threw blood into my waters of blue
In the face of your thoughts – your void of no value
Nothing conceived from where seeds fall
Conditional goodness isn’t goodness at all
Another cheek turned to another stone thrown
Can’t control life when it has a life of its own
Pain echoes out from God into the present from the past
I’m with the message in a cracked bottle sinking fast
You won’t be robbed remembering me a lot
In my nonexistence, you wouldn’t waste a thought
While this rag doll comes apart at the seams
Slipping silently awake in deadly dreams
I can call a million times and never hear a reply
I can’t pace this door for more than an hour
Before stopping and suffocating
I just want to feel someone
I can feel loved whenever I want to
But that’s not enough
I want to know I’m loved
Someone reserves her love and it's not for me
I saw unscheduled people at work
I pitied their lack of creativity
Now I wish I had some unscheduled place to be
Surrounding myself with walls wills me sadness
Surrounding myself with people is isolation
I can gauge this difference that I hate
It tears me up into tears that I choke back with laughter
I want to see everyone happy because of me
If I expressed this isolation
I would will this pain on others
I can only deal with this pain
By pretending it doesn't exist
Nobody loves me
How f---ing pathetic and cliché
How can I be so immature and self-doubting?
People are naming their children
Putting a down-payment on a house
While I’m dating someone who doesn’t love me
I fade away in a room my parents paid for
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