Slippy Breadstick
Despite public opinion, it is widely accepted in all scientific communities
that the vegetable is not only capable of thought, but perhaps even more intelectually sophisticated
than man or the dolphin. Yes, the vegetable is believed to be second only to North American boggy-marsh
quagmire lichen in its mental prowess. Knowing this, humanity must appreciate its ability to create; to
not only seek truth but to document his discoveries and then get paid for it. What a curse to be a vegetable,
lodged in the cold earth, holding the secrets of the universe, but incapable of communication or profit.
With opposable thumbs and a stable industrial economy, mankind is truly blessed, though mentally inferior to
the potato. Few potatoes have won the Pulitzer Prize. Though it is unfair to call the vegetable "lazy" or
without ambition, it is fair to eat them and use them for decoration.
