Poetry
by rahorton
MATERNAL
INSTINCTS
BETRAYED
GABRIELLE
The
tears that I shed are so warm.
How
strange since my heart feels so cold.
When
I saw you and Solon, Ephiny and Xenon-I battled back the
envy
that had me longing for my daughter.
Hope,
I never thought to see her again.
But
she found me and oh gods how much joy flooded my heart!
It
was like the first time I saw her,
and
I so wanted to believe that it would be okay.
She
needed me to protect her from the evil of Callisto,
and
the wrath of my best friend.
That
lie was a bitter pill,
yet
still I thought I was right in keeping from Xena that she lived.
Now
I know the folly of loving blindly.
And
pay the price still.
Trying
desperately to believe my Hope was innocent,
til
you spoke Solon's name.
I
knew then what I must do.
So
with ice already forming in my heart I watched you
drink
the poison and your life drain away.
I
nearly followed you in death,
but
was clinging to the dream
that
I might find forgiveness for what I had done.
Even
that dream was smashed as the one
that
was my anchor and my soul mate
lashed
out in rage and pain
and
the full weight of guilt fell on my shoulders.
Desperately
I flung out "I love you Xena"
and
found despair in silence.
I
walked away feeling the warmth of my tears
even
as my soul froze with grief and anguish.
And
wondering how long the body can live
if
the soul is dying.
