JIMMY MADELINE SPECIAL EDITION:
JIMMY WENT DOWN TO GEORGIA
(or how jimmy got his les paul)
~dedicated to Allison, the greatest Coyote of them all~
Jimmy went down to Georgia
Because he had the blues
He'd run away with his guitar on his back
And was looking for his muse
The devil went down to Georgia too
He was looking for a soul to steal
He was in a bind 'cause he was way behind
And he was willing to make a deal
When he came across little Jimmy
Grooving on his guitar and playing it hot
The devil jumped up on a hickory stump
And said, "Boy, let me tell you what
"I guess you didn't know it
But I'm a mean guitarist too
And if you'd care to take a dare
I'll make a bet with you
"Now you play some rocking riffs, boy
But give the devil his due
I bet a Les Paul of gold against your soul
'Cause I think I'm better than you"
The devil was making such a ruckus
He got the attention of some Crowes
They were getting tall and having a ball
And flew down to watch the show
The Crowes were eating grits and offered some
To the devil and little Jim
Jim ate a big bowl but the devil said "No"
He had never really cared for them
Jim didn't answer the devil right away
He sat down with the little Crowe Chris
And they read all the comics out loud, one by one
-Now the devil was getting pissed
"I'm asking you one more time, boy
But if you leave this offer alone
The next time I cut you a deal, boy
It will be with an Epiphone!"
Now this got little Jimmy riled
And his eyes flashed glowing red
He wanted the Les Paul more than life itself
But was filled with a crippling dread
He had a cold and his hair was a mess
And he was afraid he had lost his touch
And one of his fingers had been smashed
And he couldn't use it much
But little Chris cawed "You can do it!"
And little Sullen thought so too
And little Kate got all squinty and cute
And said, "We believe in you"
So Weird Old Ed gave Jim some weed
And little Steve said "Make us proud!"
Jim took a puff and noticed that
There were MIDGETS, man...out in the crowd
Then he took a big swig of J.D.
And soaked his hurt finger in it too
Then he looked at the devil and laughed
Because he was no longer blue!
He said, "My name's Jimmy Page
And like Nietzche, I don't believe in sin
So I'll take your bet, and you will quite regret
For I'm the best that's ever been"
Jimmy you resin up your bow
And play your guitar hard
'Cause Hell's broke loose in Georgia
And the devil deals the cards
And if you win
Then you get this shiny guitar made of gold
But if you lose
The devil gets your soul
The devil opened up his case
And said, "I'll start this show"
And fire flew from his fingertips
As he resined up his bow
And as he pulled the bow across the strings
It made an evil hiss
Then a band of demons joined in-
"CHEATER!" shouted big-mouthed Chris
Now this turned the devil really red
And the demons raced back to Hell
But the devil laughed with fire on his breath
Because he was still playing very well
When the devil finished Jimmy said
"Indeed, you're rather good, old son
But sit up in that tree right there
And let me show you how it's done"
So the devil sat up there with the Crowes
And couldn't see over Chris' beak
He though maybe Jimmy had chickened out
When he heard an unearthly shriek---
He played Dazed and Confused for so long it's not true
Black Mountain Side Since I've Been Loving You
Whole Lotta Love on a Stairway to Heaven
Eight whole minutes of Ultimate Guitar Solo Weaven
Well Jimmy's fingers flashed like lightning
Over his telecaster '58
And his bow was useless by now
But he still sounded great
Jimmy was dripping in sweat
As he threw his bow to the ground
A curvy smile was on his lips
And no one made a sound
The devil bowed his head
Because he knew that he'd been beat
And he laid that gold top Les Paul
On the ground at Jimmy's feet
Jimmy said, "Devil, please do come back
if you ever want to try again!"
"But he told you once," added Rich, "You son of a bitch
He's the best that's ever been!"
He played Dazed and Confused for so long it's not true
Black Mountain Side Since I've Been Loving You
Whole Lotta Love on a Stairway to Heaven
8 whole minutes of Ultimate Guitar Solo Weaven
So they all went off to celebrate
And found a little place
The devil sat in a corner booth
With a beer and shame all over his face
Everyone was tall and grooving
With little Coyote Groupies dancing on the bar
Little Miss P and little Cinderella
Told Jimmy he was such a big star!
Jimmy looked at the devil and said with a smile
"You really should have known-
You could have never got my soul in the first place
As it's already been sold to Jones!"