Now, I am in favor of potty humor as much as the next guy, but I must draw the line at visual portrayals. For those of you who know not of which I speak, consider yourselves fortunate and brace yourselves whilst I explain.

      Harken back, dear viewer, to the last time you saw a movie on the big screen. Recall, if you will, the completely unnecessary scene where someone, be he hero or villian, was shown in the midst of answering nature's call. Control your retching as I continue. This person was usually shown either standing before a urinal or atop a toilet, magazine in hand.

      Are there no new frontiers for filmmakers to cross? Do people really think this is hilarious? Is it just a cheap scene to film? I go to the movies a lot, and I have yet to see an American film (children's films excepted) where someone does not drop trou but for all the wrong reasons. (For all the right reasons, please see previous Soapbox.)

      Some examples of this lunch-inducing phenomena:

1. In Independence Day, our hero Wil Smith first notices his neighbors in a panic while looking out his window in the midst of his morning urination. Yay.

2. Comedy classic Austin Powers had a disgusting, albeit very funny, toilet scene in which Austin battles criminals on the potty while Tom Arnold cheers him on.

3. Golden Eye's opening scene was a Russian soldier on the loo with a magazine, who is rudely interrupted my our man Bond.

4. And who can forget Wolf, where the filmaker was kind enough to provide audio in addition to the nightmarish visual.

5. And I'll not even begin to discuss the BM bonanza that was Trainspotting, quite possibly the most scatalogical contrivance to emerge from a Scotsman since the septic tank (all punning aside, damn you!.

      And I could go on ad nauseum but frankly, I find the whole topic disgusting. Just remember to look away from the screen the next time you're at the movies and you see anyone heading for the bathroom. It was a lesson I learned far too late.

• Male Full Frontal Nudity, and More of It.

---

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page