This story is copyrighted as per the date below.

The thanks on this story will be kind of complicated.

This story was original published in a fanzine a year ago under another title. And, although it has the same premise, it has been revamped, buffed and waxed to a high gloss finish.

I also want the record to show by posting this to my page, I mean no disrespect to the editor of the fanzine.

Also, I had a new set of beta-readers to thank on this, to the Puff (siempre) and the divine Ms. M, who took time to help me with this even though they had other irons in the fire.

You guys helped me make a good story even better.

Any errors are mine and mine alone.

~~~~~

His stomach growled. The faint sound seemed loud in the stillness of the night. It had been days since he'd had a decent meal. War ravaging the land made pickings slim, especially for a thief. Marauding armies on both sides had stripped the villages of everything of value leaving little enough to live on, much less steal.

Young men gone, slaughtered or taken to fight in a war no one understood leaving only women and children to tend the fields. Soon another army came and the young women were taken to fight leaving only the old and the very young. Now everyday became a struggle to survive.

Eavesdropping outside a small tavern in the village, he'd heard of the alleged cache of riches stored in chests in the new army commander's tent. A ransom in gold and jewels for tribute to the new king. A king whose ascension to the throne depended heavily on the battle to be fought on the morrow.

Only Pagans fought a battle on the eve of Samhain. And 'twas said the leader of this army bore Druid blood.

Well, rich Druid, rich Pagan, it mattered not. What was important was the gold.

The leader and the army's commander were in counsel with most of the troops. Now was the best time to strike. . .

"Please. Dinnae do this thing, Fergus Brody,"the smaller of the two shadows moving across the side of the tent whispered urgently. "These are soldiers. If they catch us, they will kill us, surely."

"'Tis but a few baubles," the other man whispered back, easily dismissing his companion's fears. "Ye are like an old woman! They willnae be missed from a treasury as large as she has. Ye worry too much. I can nae concentrate with all yer bellyaching! I dinnae know why ye come!"

"I'm here to keep ye from mischief."

The taller shadow laughed. "Then ye are on a fool's mission, my friend."

"Aye, that be me, a fool, indeed, ta think I could make a difference in what ye do."

The darkness concealed their approach, allowing them to easily slip past the few guards posted. Once inside the tent, Fergus fumbled around in the dimly lit interior.

"Ye see it, Shanan?" he hissed urgently.

"'Tis madness!" Shanan's faint voice, laced with fear, filtered back through the darkness.

"Do ye see it, man?!"

After another moment of hesitation, there came a whisper, "North corner, under that mound o' fur. Take five paces to yer right and ye are there."

Fergus turned and walked swiftly to his objective nestled in the corner of the tent, and quickly pried open the lock with his knife. Just as quickly, he began rifling through the chest using the single torch's light to see, discarding this, keeping that. In short order, Fergus had greedily filled the hidden pouches in his cloak with various pieces of jewelry and gold trinkets.

Shanan watched in horror as his companion's cloak grew heavy and full. "Enough, Fergus! Let us go now, while we still can!"

"Ye can ne'er have enough, Shanan, my little friend." Just then his eyes fell on an elaborately carved staff leaning against the side of a large chest. "Ah, what have we here?"

Shanan reached desperately. "Fergus, nay!"

He just moved it away. "Are ye mad, man? Money from the sale o' this t'will keep us warm and fed throughout the long, cold winter!"

"Fergus, 'tis a Druid staff! Put it back, please! I have a bad feeling abou' it! Leave it and let us go! Now! Before somebody comes."

"Nay, we take it with us. I know a man who will pay handsomely for a stick like this!"

"You should have heeded your companion's warning, thief."

Both men turned at the sound of the voice.

A woman, nearly as tall as Fergus, dressed in a white, shroud-like robe over bronze body armor and a short, leather skirt, stood in the darkened doorway of the tent. Behind her stood six females of equal or greater height, all armed with staffs or spears.

"Sisters. It seems our prayers have been answered. We have our sacrifice for Samhain." She pointed to Fergus. "Take him and ready the wicker man!"

While Fergus matched most of them in height, he was a thief, not a soldier. Although he put up a good fight, it didn't take long for the women to subdue him. Shanan tried to come to his aid, but was rendered senseless with a sharp blow to the head by one of the soldiers.

~~~~~~

As Shanan woke, he realized he was bound, hand and foot among the cushions in the tent. He looked up at the figure of his captor. It was the captain of the army. She stood at the front of the tent, holding the flap open with one hand, watching something outside. The light from a large fire nearby illuminated the harshness of her features. Slowly, Shanan became aware of terrible screams coming from outside.

"Fergus?" he asked, fearing the answer.

"Tis his screams you hear," she said calmly, still facing the flames.

"Nay!" A tiny whisper of protest.

"He serves a greater purpose in death than he did in life." She turned slightly, looking at him with cold, hard eyes. "He was a thief and not a very good one at that. We have glorified his soul as sacrifice to Muireartach. Tomorrow we will be victorious in a magnificent battle."

"What?" Shanan struggled to a sitting position. "What are ye doing to him?"

She shrugged, the movement a slight lifting of one shoulder. "It's done. He burns."

Shanan stared at her a moment, not believing what he had heard, speechless with horror. "Nay! Nay! NAAYYY!" He launched himself at the woman, only to stumble and fall gracelessly at her feet.

She looked down at him, contempt shining in her eyes. "What was this thief to you, little man, that you'd risk your life and my ire in this way?"

Shanan wept bitterly into the carpet at her feet as Fergus' cries died away. "I love him," he whispered, brokenly. "He stayed with me when others turned away. My own family cast me out because. . .because I was different. My village tried to stone me to death. But Fergus saved me, took me in. I owe him my life."

"Then you sold your life cheaply."

~~~~~~

Blair sat among the cushions and stared at the blaze in the fireplace. Soft light from several candles flickering unheeded on the low table. Also ignored were the remnants of a light supper, wine chilling in an ice bucket. Two glasses, yet Blair sat alone, naked in the firelight.

In his mind, he replayed the events of the past few hours.

Veronica Shore, fellow grad student, specializing in archaic languages, ancient religion and rituals. A year ago, she and Blair had met at a minor dig in Ireland and become friends. Not long after returning to Washington, the friendship had grown until they had finally become lovers. The relationship had been good, but not great. Their shared love of Anthropology had made the alliance easy, comfortable, and the sex was. . .not earthshaking, but adequate. Sandburg was content with 'adequate', but honest enough to admit something was missing.

After some soul-searching, Blair reasoned their problem could stem from the lack of romance. Since both of them had roommates, it was hard to be alone, much less romantic. To remedy this, he had used the last of his 'mad' money to book this hotel room and throw together a candlelit dinner for two. Seduction by firelight, every woman loved seduction by firelight, right? And it seemed to be working. Everything seemed to be perfect, progressing nicely, heavy petting successfully leading into a successful amount of foreplay, segued into penetration, copulation - all fine until the moment of climax.

Blair slowly became aware that somewhere along the way something had gone horribly wrong. Suddenly, the very essence of the woman beneath him changed. Between one thrust and the next, she went from soft and warm to cold and rigid. Sitting back, Blair stared down at her angry face. "Ronnie?" he asked tentatively.

With that, she pulled completely away from him, glaring at him accusingly. "So, now you remember me," she said with contempt.

Deeply stun by her tone, Blair sputtered helplessly, "What?"

Immediately, she was up, gathering her clothes, pulling them on in tight, controlled motions.

"Ronnie, what's with you?" Blair asked as he tried to follow her, touch her, stop her.

"How long, Blair?"she demanded as she angrily evaded him. "Better yet, why all this? What were you trying to prove?"

"What?" Blue eyes blinked at her without comprehension. "Why do you think I'm trying to prove something? What's the matter with you? Why are you acting like this? If it's something I've done. . ." He tried to reach for her one more time.

"Don't! It's too late now," she said as she angrily slapped his hands away. "I knew something was wrong from the start, I just kept telling myself it would be all right once we got to know each other better."

Sandburg ran his fingers through his hair. "Ronnie, I'm so not following here."

Dressed now and at the door, she turned back to face him. "You know, I can honestly say that this has never happened to me before. Thank you, Blair Sandburg, for a first. Just answer me this: Are you fucking him, too?"

He stood, dumbfounded. "What??"

"Your roommate. Are you fucking him?"

"Jim? NO!"

"Don't lie!"she all but screamed.

"I'm not lying!" Blair screamed back.

Now Ronnie became calm. "Oh, no? Then, why did you call out his name when you came?"she whispered then she slammed the door behind her.

~~~~~~

Blair was roused from his brooding by a pounding on the door.

"Chief," Jim's voice sounded worried and urgent through the wooden door. "I know you're in there. Open up!" he shouted, now sounding a bit pissed.

"Jim?" Blair whispered, thinking perhaps he dreamed, surprised to hear his partner's voice. He loosely wrapped the sheet he'd been sitting on around his waist before rising and going to open the door. "Jim, what're you doing here?"

The big man stepped into the room. "Veronica called." Jim closed the door behind him. "She told me where you were."

Blair walked back and sat among the cushions.

"Said I should get over here right away," Ellison said as he followed the smaller man into the room. "What's wrong?" he asked as he towered over him.

"Nothing's wrong." To his horror, his voice trembled, then broke. He turned his head away.

Jim was on his knees beside him. "Chief, talk to me," he appealled in a soft voice.

Blair looked away. "I can't," he said just as softly.

Jim reached out to touch a tendril of his Guide's hair, then drew back. "Is this about Veronica?"

"Yes. . .no. . .I don't want to talk about it."

Jim felt the rise of Blair's body temperature even before he saw the flush of color on his face and neck. Taking Blair by the shoulders, Jim turned him until they faced each other. "Tell me."

"No," Blair said pulling away.

Leaning in closer, the Sentinel gently told his Guide, "You know we're friends."

Blair hung his head, self-consciously studying his clenched hands. "You're my best friend," he answered, using his Sentinel-soft voice.

This time, Ellison allowed himself to lightly touch the back of his Guide's hand. "Then you can tell me anything."

Sandburg shook his head again before saying sadly, "I can't tell you this."

Exasperated, Jim demanded, "Why not??!"

Blair looked at him a moment before turning away. "Because it would ruin everything."

"Ruin what everything?" Jim asked as he resisted the urge to give the smaller man a hard shake.

"Ruin us. Ruin everything," he said as he looked up at his Sentinel with a profound sadness in his eyes.

~~

Later Blair blamed it all on the faux romantic setting, too much wine, loneliness, depression, confusion, anything but what it really was. What he had been afraid to face. He swore he saw love, passion for him in Jim's eyes. With mutual, but tentative advances, they kissed. Jim handled him gently, as if he were something priceless.

His sentinel worshipped his body with lips and tongue, playing music on his flesh, with his fingertips, until Blair thought he'd go mad with the rapture of it. So that in the end they'd cum together in a crescendo of a heady rhapsody that sang through his veins, bursting from him in an explosion of joy and energy that left him boneless and weak, sated and fulfilled as he'd never been before.

~~

Blair woke to the feeling of warmth at his back, curled around him, enveloping him in a cocoon of security and comfort. With his eyes still closed, he revelled in the feeling. It had been a long time since he had felt this cosseted, this protected.

Alerted by his Guide's change in heart rate, Jim placed a strong arm around and drew him flush up against the solid wall of heat behind him. "Good morning, sunshine," a deep voice resonated in his ear.

Blair felt the tone of that voice reverberate through him, reinforcing the feeling of love and contentment. He felt the heat radiate from his back, settling low in the front of him, his blood slowly following to settle in his groin. He was growing hard again. Turning in his Sentinel's embrace, he raised his head, his lips begging to be kissed.

Then, a faint voice whispered nastily in his ear, "Faggot!" The voice, not Jim's, not his; real, not real. Could it have been something from his subconscious mind? But he was certain he'd heard it. "Just look at yerself!" it whispered again, disgust clearly echoing in the tone. "And what are ye abou'? The lassie was right! Ye wanted to fuck him all along! Ye were just lying to yerself!"

The young guide panicked, crying out, leaving the bed in one frantic leap--

"Blair?"--

To stare into the startled face of his partner.

Sandburg grabbed his hair in two handfuls and pulled it up and away from his face in panic and frustration. "Oh, man! Man, oh man! What did I do? This is way too much to handle right now!"

"Blair," Jim said again softly as he reached for him.

And at the same moment, Blair heard a voice inside his head, "A warm, willing body, that's all ye were! Convenient! Easy! He took advantage o' ye."

"No!" Blair jumped, trying to get away from both the voice in his head and the hands of his partner. "Hey, man, I am, like, so freaked out right now. I cannot deal with this!"

"Blair. . ."

But his guide was hastily pulling on his clothes. "How could you, man?"

Jim sat up as he pulled on his boxers. "How could I what?"

"I was hurting. You saw that and you took advantage of me." Even as the words left Blair's mouth, he couldn't believe he was saying them. He didn't believe that for a second!

Jim was saying, "You seemed pretty 'in control' to me. If I remember, I asked you several times. . ." He sounded hurt, confused and angry.

Then the voice echoed in his ear again, overlapping the sound of Jim's voice. "Then ye are a fool, man! Where is yer pride? The man just fucked ye like a whore and ye are abou' to fall into his arms again. Mebbe he sees ye as ye really are! Mebbe ye are a whore!"

"I'm not a whore! And I won't be used like one!" he screamed as he reached the door. "I didn't know what I was saying! You took advantage of me, and I hate you for it!" 'No! This is my Sentinel. I don't hate him,' his mind screamed.

Then the voice said, "Aye, ye do. Ye hate him with yer entire being! He hurt ye and he'll hurt ye again if ye don't flee! Run now, run for yer very life! Flee while ye can!"

"Blair!" The wild, confused look on his partner's face was beginning to really scare Jim.

The voice whispered urgently. "Dinnae listen! 'Tis all right if ye run now. Ye dinnae ken what ye were abou'."

"I didn't know what I was doing!"

"He would ken, if he cared."

"You should have known that! If you cared anything about me, you would've known that!"

"He hurt ye!"

"You hurt me!"

"And he'll do it again if ye don't flee!"

"You'll never do that again!" And he slammed the door as he fled the scene.

Neither heard the soft, gloating chuckle drifting across the silence of the room.

~~~~~~

"What are ye abou', Fergus?"

"Ach!" The figure jumped and spun towards the voice that had startled him. "Ye gave me such a fright! Dinnae go creeping abou' like that, Shanan. Gie' a body some warning!"

"What are ye abou'?"the smaller man repeated stubbornly.

Fergus turned sullenly away. "Nothing that would concern ye."

His small companion watched the drama unfold before him in disbelief. "That is nae the way o' it!" He grabbed Fergus' arm and spun him back to face him, "What've ye done?" he demanded.

"It could have been! 'Twas in the back o' his mind. I gave him a nudge in that direction, was all."

"Fergus Brody, ye cannae go changing people's lives to suit yer whims. 'Tisnae right! They were meant for each other! Ye know that!"

"I dinnae need ye to be my conscience, Shanan O'Rourke! Can ye see ye are nae welcome here? Off with ye and leave me be, I say! I will nae be made to answer to ye!"

~~~~~~

Blair entered Veronica's lab to find her bent over a table working on an artifact. She looked up at his approach.

"What're you doing here?"she asked, returning her attention to the object in her hands.

He stopped just inside the circle of light from her lamp. "Why'd you call him, Ronnie? That was just plain mean-spirited," he said, walking the circumference of the room.

"Because you wanted him and were afraid to do anything about it. It was obvious you needed help."

"You're wrong!"

"No, what was wrong was screwing me when all the time you wanted him," she told him quietly as she glanced up at him briefly, then back down again.

Blair frowned. "That's not true."

She looked up and sneered, "Denial is an ugly thing, Sandburg."

"Stop saying that, Ronnie! There's nothing between Jim and me, we're just friends I tell you!" Blair halted his nervous pacing to wander behind Veronica and peer over her shoulder. "What're you doing? Is this a piece from our dig?"

"Yes. Professor Langsford thought it might be a piece from a staff or sceptre."

Blair eased cautiously next to her. The staff was only a fragment, the rest broken off or rotted away long ago. It was made of heavy wood. The sides, once polished to a high shine, bore elaborate craved designs.

As Blair moved closer, he saw they weren't just intricate carvings. "Those are words."

Veronica eyed him skeptically. "And here I thought you were just another pretty face."

He ignored her sarcasm. "Do you know what it says?"

"So far I only have a partial translation. The script is ancient, maybe Gaelic. I think it could possibly be a ceremonial staff used in Druid sacrifices." She pointed. "This looks like a goddess symbol." She moved her fingers. "And there's more here. Some of it's worn away. This word is 'come' the next one looks like 'to' or 'unto', the next one is slightly blurred..."

The grad student chanced a closer look. "Wait!" He pointed. "That symbol is for the Celtic goddess Kaolinn." He grew animated with the excitement of discovery. "Oh! Wait a minute, wait a minute!" He pointed again. "That says, 'bhur croí dúil'. It's part of Kaolinn's response to a prayer." Blair frowned intensely as he struggled with his memory. "It should read, 'Come thou to me -- hands barren, heart asunder, soul bereft of light--and I will grant thy heart's desire.'"

Veronica repeated the words spoken by Blair as she wrote them in her notes. "How do you know so much about ancient Celtic deities?"

"Deities are sort of a hobby of mine. You can't be too careful in your beliefs. Anyway, if I remember correctly, part of the ritual involves a wishing well or a shooting star to work."

She eyed him critically as if considering the validity of his statement, then frowned her disappointment. "You are so full of it, you know that? You almost had me going! I'll bet that isn't even a true translation. You're probably trying to set me up, make a fool of me because of the other night, aren't you?" She gave a very unladylike snort. "Wishing wells! Shooting stars! What a crock!"

Blair bristled. "That is so lame, Ronnie. And while we're on the subject, where do you get off calling Jim in the first place?"

"I told you why! You wanted him so badly you called his name when you came."

Blair's face turned bright red. "Stop it, you're lying!" he hissed in embarrassment.

Veronica slammed the tool she was using down on the tabletop. "No, you stop. Better still, leave."

"And go where? Because of you, I probably don't even have a home to go home to. I've probably lost my best friend in the world, not to mention blowing my thesis." He groaned. "Jim's probably packing my stuff, even as we speak, if he didn't just pitch it off the balcony! Damn it! I made a mess of things! And it was so perfect, too! Jim deserves to be with somebody better than me. I wish he was."

"You are pathetic, you know that? As long as we're making wishes, I wish you'd just disappear!"

Unknown to them, a star streaked across the morning sky.

And Fergus smiled as he made a wish, too.

~~~~~~

Veronica took a tentative look around the lab. Sandburg had gone, finally. Funny thing, though, she couldn't actually recall his leaving.

Rubbing her neck absently, Ronnie realized she had a splitting headache and a vague feeling that something wasn't right, but for the life of her, she couldn't figure out just what it was. Straining her thoughts, she tried again to reach the elusive information, but the effort just made her head hurt worse.

Maybe if she just gave up for the night, went home and laid down, she'd feel better.

Veronica gathered up her personal possessions, leaving everything else where it lay, something totally out of character for her. Reaching up, she switched off the light just as a chill passed over her. Shuddering and suddenly afraid to stay in the darkened lab any longer, she snatched up her things and fled.

Behind her, she thought she heard a soft chuckle. With a stifled gasp of sheer terror, she fled.

~~~~~~

Blair woke in the dimness, surrounded by a pale, grey haze, with no recollection of how he arrived there. Damp and freezing cold, he shakily rose to his feet. "Ronnie?" he whispered into the darkness.

"Blessed saints preserve us!"

Blair turned towards the sound of the voice. "Who's there?" he demanded shakily.

Suddenly, a figure appeared out of the haze. It shifted and condensed into a man even shorter than Blair was. The shock of seeing the transformation knocked him on his butt.

"Damn!" he said, wide eyed with disbelief.

"Ach, Fergus!" the smaller man lamented. "What have ye done?"

Blair began to scramble back on his hands, pushing his body along using his feet. His eyes wide with fear.

The figure before him finally took note of his distress and began to cautiously move towards him. "Wait," he said in a soothing voice, one hand outstretched in a placating gesture. "I ken 'tis strange ta ye but 'tis nae cause ta be alarmed."

Blair pushed off the ground with his hands and twisted his body until he could turn on his knees. Quickly scrambling to his feet, he turned to run.

"Wait! 'Tis nae an easy place for the new ones! Ye turn a corner wrong and ye will be ending up somewhere ye nae want ta be!"

Blair raced away, but was brought up short by the man appearing before him again.

"I know ye are afraid, but if ye stay still a moment, I can explain."

Blair began backing away.

"Please, dinnae race away again. Believe me when I tell ye 'tis nae easy popping in and out this way."

"Who. . .what are you?"

"Oh, ach, where are my manners!" He smiled, extending his hand. "My name is Shanan O'Rourke. And unless I am mistaken, yers is Blair Sandburg. 'Tis a pleasure finally meeting ye."

"Who are you? What are you? How do you know my name? Where am I? Where's Ronnie? How'd I get here?"

"Whoa, whoa, lad. Calm down, calm down. I will be happy to answer yer questions, but it nae can be done but one at a time." He smiled. "I know ye from watching ye, or, more honest the lot, watching Fergus watch ye. As to where ye are, I like to think o' it as betwixt and between."

"Betwixt. . .that is so. . .what's that supposed to mean? And who is Fergus?"

"I ken 'twill take some seeing." He reached out. "Here, take my hand, we may as well get comfortable."

Blair hesitated, throwing Shanan a distrustful look.

"Come, lad! We nae have a lot o' time and 'tis much we need to talk abou'." Shanan waited, and when Blair still didn't move, said impatiently, "'Tis but a hand, lad! It willnae bite ye!"

Blair hesitated one moment longer, then reluctantly reached out. No sooner had he touched Shanan than his vision blurred. He felt a moment of dizziness before the young guide found himself standing in a field.

"Where are we now?" Blair asked breathlessly.

Shanan stepped away. "At the beginning."

"The beginning of what?" Blair asked as he followed.

"Well, nae the very beginning," the smaller man stopped at a crumbling pile of rock. "Nae when we were born, but when we died."

"Died?"

"Aye. Fergus and I died centuries ago."

"You want me to believe you're dead?"

"Aye."

"But I can see you."

Shanan's lips turned up into a crooked smile. "Aye."

Blair waved his arms. "But I touched you."

"Aye," O'Rourke said softly as he nodded.

Horror crept into Blair's voice. "How's that possible? The living shouldn't be able to touch the dead. And I'm not dead."

The smile disappeared. "Aye, ye are," the spirit said remorsefully.

Blair lost all assemblance of composure along with the color on his face. "What?!"

"Well ye are, and ye are nae."

"What does that mean?" the younger man demanded.

"Here, in this place, in this time," Shanan explained patiently, "ye are and ye are nae."

"But that doesn't tell me anything!" Blair exclaimed in exasperation. "Where are we?"

"Eire. The isle o' Man, to be exact. At an ancient Druid circle. 'Twas here they sacrificed Fergus to Muireartach."

Blair skirted the circumference of the ring of rock. "Muireartach? Goddess of War?"

Shanan beamed with pleasure. "'Tis a fine scholar ye are too, lad! Aye, ta guarantee victory in battle. 'Twas on Samhain."

"Samhain? Halloween? But that's tonight." Blair began pacing restlessly.

"Aye. On Samhain, spirits can walk the earth again."

"Okay, if that's what you believe, but that doesn't explain how I got caught up in this mess."

O'Rourke leaned back on one of the stones closest to him. "Ye made a wish," he said simply.

Blair stopped his pacing. "A wish? You're trying to tell me a wish brought me to this place?"

"More honest the lot, 'twas two wishes. Yers and the lassie's."

Sandburg came to stand in front of the smaller man. "But I didn't wish to come here."

"Nay, but ye did wish ta be out o' yer Sentinel's life so that he could find someone else ta guide him."

Blair colored faintly as he remembered his stray thoughts that night. "Someone different, better than me, yes." He looked up at O'Rourke. "But I don't understand what that has to do with my being here. And Ronnie's wish, she didn't make one, unless you count wishing I'd disappear."

"Close enough, aye. Fergus did a bit o' stretching, so to speak, and he made a wish himself." At the look on Blair's face, O'Rourke defended his companion's act with, "T'was nae against the rules."

Sandburg made a disgusted noise. "Didn't you say Fergus died with you?"

"He died afore me. Sacrificed in this very ring." He lightly touched the ancient pile of stones afore them, caressing it gently, almost reverently. "They placed him in a wicker form and put it on a pyre. Then they performed a dark and ancient ritual prayer before setting him ablaze."

Blair watched as a tear trailed a crystal path down Shanan's cheek and dropped to the grass below. The glittering caught and held his eye as it didn't melt into the ground. He bent to touch the glimmering object and found it solid. Sandburg picked it up, holding it in his hand.

"A diamond?" He turned the tiny stone over in his palm with his fingertip as he shot a glance at his companion. "Your tears are diamonds?"

Shanan shrugged negligently. "Aye," he whispered miserably, "I must have left a king's ransom scattered all o'er this darkness." Looking at Blair with grim, fathomless eyes, he said, "When we lived, Fergus called me useless sometimes when he was angry with me. I never believed he really meant it," Shanan told Blair when the other man started to speak. "He said I had ta die ta finally be worth something,"O'Rourke laughed a sad laugh, "and he cannae spend it."

"Sounds like a great guy," Blair said sarcastically.

Shanan shook his head. "Dinnae judge him harshly, Blair. Fergus had his shortcomings, but it was nae worth the end he met. They burned him alive," the faint voice caught on a sob. "And I woke ta his screams, " Another tear fell. "They seemed ta go on forever." The narrow shoulders sagged wearily. "I can hear them still, if I close my eyes." And another tear trailed down his cheek to fall into the grass.

Blair picked two more diamonds from the earth. "Did they burn you, too?"

Shanan wiped the moisture away. "Nay. I begged them to, but they let me go." He sighed. "I wandered a while, visiting places we had been, but t'was nae the same. I felt empty, lost, and very much alone." His hands clenched and unclenched into fists in his lap. "Soon a great sadness filled the emptiness within me." He looked at Blair. "I found I could nae live without Fergus. So I dinnae."

Blair straightened as he studied Shanan with great interest. "You sound like the two of you were lovers."

"Aye." Shanan shrugged. "I loved him, with all my being."

"What about Fergus? Did he love you?"

O'Rourke kept quiet for a long time. "Fergus, he took pleasure from me, if t'were nae females ta be had." The small man shrugged. "I suppose he loved me in his own way."

Blair frowned in disgust at the confession. "Took pleasure from you? That's not love! What about you? What pleasure did you get from the relationship?"

"My pleasure was from his," Shanan said calmly.

"You're saying he used you and that made you happy?" At the smaller man's nod, he went on. "Shanan, you need some lessons in self-esteem." Blair's hands began to move as his indignation grew. "This man is so self-centered, so egotistical!" He halted long enough to take a calming breath. "That is so not right! And you, you just accepted it instead of standing up for yourself! Don't you see, Shanan? That's not love! Love isn't about just one person's happiness! What he did was so one-sided and. . .selfish!"

O'Rourke bristled. "Who are ye ta preach ta me abou' love? What do ye know abou' love? Jumpin' from one lassie ta the next like a great grasshopper in the spring! And when it did come, ye turned a blind eye! Truth, Blair, ye ran from the only true love in yer life like a man possessed!"

"I what?" Sandburg blinked. "Who?"

"Ellison," O'Rourke said triumphantly.

"Jim?" Blair laughed. "My true love?

The small man nodded in ascent. "Yer heart's desire. Ye can nae deny it."

Blair looked markedly uncomfortable. "If he is, the feeling's not mutual."

"Ye dinnae think he loves ye?"

"No," Blair told him stubbornly, "I don't."

"Ye dinnae really believe he took advantage o' ye in a weak moment, do ye?"

Blair turned away. "That's all it was."

"Ye were hurting, laddie. He cannae stand to see ye hurting. Dinnae ye know yer Sentinel would do anything for ye? He gave ye comfort the only way he knew how."

"You were watching?" Blair squeaked, mortified.

"Fergus and I have watched ye and yer Sentinel from the beginning."

"From the beginning of what?"

"From the beginning when ye found the sceptre and brought it back with ye."

"What's the sceptre got to do with anything?"

O'Rourke shrugged. "I dinnae ken. It was the thing Fergus died for. The last thing he touched. His spirit seems bound to it."

"Why?"

"I dinnae know. Perhaps it had value to him."

"No, why did Fergus watch us?"

O'Rourke seemed reluctant to answer. "Fergus had plans," he said at last.

"Plans for what?"

Shanan paused, looking at the shrine for a moment. "To take yer place in the living world."

~~~~~~

Jim tried to remember the exact moment his life fell apart. He had held Blair in his arms throughout the night. They had made sweet, tender love to one another. He had watched Blair come to completion, head thrown back, muscles straining, skin glistening with sweat, eyes tightly closed. He had heard his name upon his lover's lips, whispered in passion and ecstasy.

Now he was alone. He wanted nothing more than to give up and die. In his heart, he knew Blair wasn't coming back. He had seen the look on his face when he'd barrelled out of the room.

Now, he just wanted to die.

"That's right, Ellison," the breeze from the open terrace doors seemed to whisper. "He's gone. Yer guide is gone and without him ye are nothing. 'Tis nae reason ta go on."

A great wave of hopelessness washed over him. "No reason to go on," Jim whispered, as he curled into a fetal ball on the bed and wept.

~~~

Blair turned, perking up at the faint sound on the wind as it carried to his ears. "I thought I heard Jim's voice. I. . .he's. . .crying?"

"Aye," Shanan agreed sadly.

"That's not like Jim." Turning on the balls of his feet, the angry young man bore down on the spirit. "What's going on, Shanan? What aren't you telling me? You said a spirit could walk the earth again on Samhain."

"Aye," he said uneasily.

"This whole thing seems like a lot of trouble to go to just for one day."

Shanan looked away from Sandburg's piercing gaze, miserable and uncomfortable.

The guide picked up on it right away. "There's something more, isn't it?"

Shanan nodded as he slowly slumped down in the dirt, his back resting against the altar.

Blair followed, landing hard on his knees beside him. "What are you not telling me, dammit!" he demanded hotly.

Shanan looked up into his face. "If a lost spirit finds someone from the living world to take his place here, he can stay there."

"Get someone to. . .is that why I'm here?"

Shanan shook his head sadly. "Nay. The spirit must come willingly."

"You said I wished. . ."

"Nay. Ye dinnae wish to come here, exactly. 'Twas Fergus' wish."

"Then who was going to take Fergus' place here?"

"Yer Sentinel."

~~~~~~

Strong, insistent fingers ruthlessly gripped his hips lifting him to his knees. He buried his face in the pillows beneath him as he felt the hands leave his hips and spread the cheeks of his ass apart. There was no preparation, nothing gentle about the probing, this was no-nonsense, straightforward and to the point.

Seemed like just a moment ago they had been cuddling, he had been holding Blair in his arms. Sandburg was taking this whole intimacy thing kind of fast, and it wasn't like him not to ask first. Jim thought more time would pass before they would've advanced to this. Not that he minded. He had dreamed about this for so long. . .loved him for so long. . .

It was at that exact moment that the penetration started to hurt. Not just a small pain, this was like a knife thrust, tearing at tender tissue, painfully intrusive and getting worse. Jim braced his hands against the headboard to counter the force slamming into him from behind. 'Blair, hmm, damn!'

"Blair. . ." he whimpered, "hurts. . ." Why was he whimpering? That wasn't like him at all. Jim found himself unable to move his arms and legs, unable to get away from the pain.

And then he awoke.

He was on the floor among several cushions, wrapped in a Blair-scented sheet. A dream? It had seemed so real. He could still feel the pain when he moved, remember the ache from the tearing. Then, his senses zeroed in on a color, bright red, so red it hurt to look at it. Against the stark white of the sheets beneath him, Jim saw the blood. Blood? Whose blood? He touch himself at the center of the remembered pain. His fingers came away heavily coated with blood, his blood. And the pain was real. . .a dream?

Blair?

~~

Fergus watched the big man curled into a fetal ball at his feet. Damn, he should've been at his wit's end by now. He glanced through the terrace doors. The sun was beginning to set. Six hours left. Subtlety and delusion wasn't working. He had to try something more drastic. Perhaps if he heightened the man's level of despair. . .

Fergus lifted Jim by a tight grip on his hair. "Pitiful creature! Ye are nae still thinking abou' him are ye?" he hissed in his face. "The li'l bugger left ye lost and all alone and ye are still thinking o' him! Hoping for him ta come back ta ye! And yer call yerself a man!" He struck Jim hard across the face, knocking him on his butt, backing him up against the wall.

"And ye nae helped, did ye? Handling him with the same hamfisted manner ye handled all yer relationships! 'Tis nae wonder he put up with ye a'tall!"

Jim heard the voice berating him, felt the blow, the pain from the force of the blow, but, when he opened his eyes and searched the room, there was nothing there! He was losing his mind! Cranking up his senses to the limit, there was nothing there. First he lost Blair, now he was losing his mind. He backed into a corner just as he heard the rustle of clothing.

"Suck it!"

A strong hand forced his jaw open and a cock was forced down his throat.

"SUCK IT, I said!" The harsh voice demanded.

With a trembling hand, Jim took the offered cock and, even as his mind screamed in horror at the act, he wrapped his lips around it.

THIS ISN'T HAPPENING!!!

"'Tis is all ye are good for! 'Tis is all ye deserve! Harder! HARDER!" Fergus screamed as he pushed his hips forward, mercilessly pounding his hard member against the soft tissue of Jim's mouth. "He is nae coming back ta ye! Why would he? Ye disgust him! Ye are a whore for wanting him and 'tis all ye are worth! I will wipe all traces o' his existence from yer mind! Ye will ne'er say his name again! Dinnae e'er think his name again! I am who ye belong ta. ME! Ye are my possession! MINE! And I intend ta make ye suffer!" And he came violently down Jim's already raw and aching throat. "Mine." He hissed angrily. "And there is nae escape! 'Tis yer hell here with me for all eternity."

As Fergus pulled his cock from Jim's mouth and turned away, he missed the single tear that trailed down Jim's cheek as he slid to the floor and curled into a tight ball whispering, "Blair," on a sob.

Jim opened his eyes to check the room again. Now the blood was gone and the pain was gone. The memory of what had just happened was fading like a dream, and he was still in the room alone.

~~~~~~

Blair felt the waves of anguish carry to him on the phantom winds that seemed a permanent part of where they were. "Jim?" He gripped Shanan tightly by the shoulders. "What's Fergus doing to him? Is he going to kill him?"

"Nay. If he kills him, it willnae work. 'Tis a place for sinners or lost souls. If Fergus were to kill him, he would go immediately on. Yer Sentinel has ta kill himself."

Blair's heart fluttered in panic. "But Jim would never do that," he whispered as he looked up at O'Rourke for confirmation.

But Shanan was shaking his head. "He would, if he thought ye lost to him."

"No. I don't believe you. Jim's too strong for that."

The small man's eyes flashed with anger and impatience. "Then ye are a bigger fool than I ever was. Ye cannae feel his pain, man? 'Tis pain because o' losing ye! Fergus 'twill drive him mad with pain and thoughts o' things that can ne'er be."

"He can't love me that much," Blair breathed in astonishment.

"Fool," Shanan hissed angrily. "That much and more."

Blair grabbed the spectre by his shirt and hauled him to his feet. "Well, I'm not going to let it happen, you hear?"

"It may have happened already. Time grows short."

"You said you and Fergus watched us," Blair growled, shaking Shanan hard.

"Aye, that we did."

"Show me Fergus and Jim."

The man shook his head. "I cannae do that."

"Why not?"

"Fergus would be angry."

The desperate guide tried another tactic. "And if you don't do it, Fergus will be lost to you, forever. Do you want that?"

The dark eyes gleamed with unshed tears. "Nay," he whispered reluctantly.

Blair shook him sharply. "Then help me! Like you said, we haven't much time."

Shanan watched Blair a moment, the torment of decision showing clearly in his eyes. Then he stepped back and turned away. "Gie' me yer hand."

Suddenly, they were back in the mists of the place Blair had first met Shanan. The young guide looked around in a frenzy, thinking he'd lost the little man, but, after a brief search, found him standing off to himself.

Sandburg approached cautiously, ready to argue again in case O'Rourke was going to deny his request. Then the mist around them began to swirl, slowly thickening into a solid wall. Like a great projection screen before them, colors began to appear. Blair watched them gradually condense into images until, finally, the picture cleared.

"What is he doing?" Blair raced towards the depiction crying out, "Jim!" He fell through the mist and it melted away. The young guide spun back to face Shanan. "I've got to get to him!" Blair once again grabbed the smaller man by the front of his shirt giving him a vicious shake. "Tell me how!"

"I dinnae know."

"Liar! You're protecting that monster! Tell me!"

O'Rourke twisted, unsuccessfully trying to free himself. "I dinnae know, I say!"

"Shanan, you can't let him do this! Please!"

The little man clasped Blair's hands and clawed at them in an attempt to free himself. "I swear, young Blair, I dinnae know."

Blair released him violently enough to make the man stagger. "I have to get to Jim!" He began pacing frantically, like a caged animal. "I have to find a way! I have to!" Suddenly stopping, he pushed his hair from his face with both hands. "If a wish brought me here, maybe it'll get me back." Sandburg raised his eyes skyward. "I wish to be back with Jim."

The two men waited. Nothing happened.

"Take me back to Jim!" Blair commanded in a loud voice.

They remained unchanged.

"I want to go back to Jim, dammit!" Sandburg screamed, raising fists over his head. "Do you hear me?!"

"It willnae help ta lose yer wits, man," Shanan said as he touched Blair lightly on the arm.

Blair snatched away. "Don't tell me what to do! If it weren't for you and your maniac companion, we wouldn't be in this predicament!" Suddenly, Blair crumpled to the ground covering his face with his hands, pulling his knees tightly against his chest and resting his forehead on them. "He's going to die and there's nothing I can do about it! Damn him!" He looked up at Shanan. "Damn you!" And a tear trailed down his face to land in the cuff of his pants. "It just can't end like this! It can't, do you hear me? He's my Sentinel! He's my partner and my best friend!" Blair once again lowered his head to his hands.

"Blair," Shanan said softly as he took the young man by the shoulders. "Blair, listen to me!" He shook him until he raised his head again. "Yer heart's desire!"

"My what?"

"Yer heart's desire. The boon from Kaolinn. On the sceptre, remember? Come thou to me -- hands barren, heart asunder, soul bereft of light -- and I will grant thy heart's desire."

"What are you talking about, Shanan?"

"Do ye love yer Sentinel? Is he yer heart's desire?!" he asked with rising agitation.

Blair stared at O'Rourke, not understanding what the man was trying to say. "Love him? Desire him, as in physically?"

"Ach!" Shanan shook him impatiently. "Of course 'tis what I mean! Answer me! We only have a little time! Do ye love him?"

"Love him? Of course I do, he's my best friend in the world."

O'Rourke shook Blair again, harder this time. "We have nae time for this! Ye need to tell the truth of what ye feel deep in yer heart, man, or yer Sentinel will die! Do ye ken?" Shanan shook him again. This time rattling his teeth. "Now answer the question I asked ye. DO YE LOVE HIM??!!!"

"I can't. . .he's not. . ." Blair looked into Shanan's face and saw the anger and disgust there. Suddenly, he understood. All the arguments, doubts and questions didn't matter. Nothing mattered but getting to his sentinel and saving him, he would deal with what feelings they had for each other after this was over. "Yes. . .yes, I love him."

O'Rourke tightened his grip on Blair until it hurt. "Do ye love him?" he demanded more forcefully.

"YES, dammit!" he screamed both from pain and frustration. Then softened his voice as the emotion drained from him, "Yes, I do."

"Then pray with love, Blair. Pray to the old gods with all yer heart, and that love, and make them hear ye afore 'tis too late."

Blair looked at him for a second as if the spectre had gone mad, if it had not worked before, why would it now? But, they had nothing left to try, so, once again Sandburg turned his eyes upward. "Please," he whispered, feeling his fear deep within his soul, "please, help me. I love him and he's going to die. I need to get back to him. Please!" He lowered his head, all his strength draining away leaving his heart and soul empty, dark and cold. "Please," he whispered too softly to hear, "I can't go on without him."

Immediately, the wind rose, bringing with it the slight scent of apples. . .

~~~~~~

Jim stood on the terrace ledge, staring at the pavement below. The sun had set over three hours ago. The sky overhead was pitch black, the full moon high in the center of the sky.

"Blair's gone, dead, lost ta ye fore'er," the voice in his head told him.

The pain, torment and torture he had endured all day would go on and on and on, forever.

The whisper in his head said, "'Twill be so easy ta end it."

The voice had told him what to do. Out to the balcony, up on the ledge. Just one step, one step and he could rest. One step and all the pain would go away. One step and he would be with Blair. The voice had promised, but only if he did it now. Now, before the moon reached the far side of the sky. Now, before the tower clock struck midnight.

"Yes! Hurry. . .or the pain 'twill start again and this time 'twill be worse! Much, much worse! And 'twill go on fore'er!"

"Blair," he whispered sadly.

"Jim, no!"

Ellison froze, suddenly surrounded by the powerful smell of freshly cut apples, and turned at the sound of the voice.

Fergus, who was standing, unseen behind him, also spun back to face the voice.

The air in the center of the room seemed to waver, like water running down a pane of glass, twisting, turning in on itself until it solidified into the form of Blair.

Before he even condensed, Blair reached out to his Sentinel. "Jim, don't!" he pleaded ardently.

Fergus took a menacing step towards him. "Ye are too late, Guide!"

Although Sandburg could see him, he ignored Fergus completely, intent on saving his Sentinel as Jim swayed forward dangerously close to tumbling to the ground below. "Jim, it'll be all right, but only if you come down."

The big man seemed to hear and righted himself, half-turning back to the room.

"Silence!" Fergus began to solidify as he turned back to Jim, concentrating all his will into a force of enough power to overwhelm Jim in his weakened state. "Jump, you fool!"

"Jim! NO!" Blair cried as he took another step towards his Sentinel.

But Fergus blocked his path. "Ye had him and ye threw him away. I watched him gie' himself ta ye and ye turned yer back," Fergus said angrily, as he shoved Blair away. "I have him now! I own him! I control him and I dinnae plan ta gie' him back! Get away I said! I warned ye!" Suddenly, the voice changed and the form of Fergus Brody melted, shimmered, changing until Blair found himself facing slanted, glowing, alien yellow eyes.

Where Brody had stood before now stood a creature on taloned feet that angrily swished a lion's tail as it spread wide broad eagle's wings.

"A gryphon?" Blair said softly. "How? They're only myths."

"He's mine, I say," the creature snarled through the hook of its beak.

Blair straightened, shaking off his surprise, to take a defensive stance. "You're wrong, Fergus. He's mine! You'll have to fight me for him!" the Guide cried as his heart thundered in his chest. Now terror for the life of his Sentinel, and the rage he felt towards the thief, burned and danced along the surface of Blair's skin, inflaming his entire body with raw, unharnessed power.

"Then die!" Fergus screamed as he lunged.

Blair twisted sideways to avoid the razor sharp beak and talons and took a step backwards. Turning to face a new assault, the guide wiped sweat from his forehead. When had the temperature of the room risen? His skin felt on fire.

The vast creature followed Blair's retreat, screeching angrily as it spread its wings to charge again.

But, before the gryphon could reached him, Blair screamed a bloodcurdling cry. Clawing frantically at the skin of his face, the young man felt heat rise up from deep within himself and twisted in agony a second before his entire body burst into a fireball of orange and yellow flames.

His form began to glow, the light surrounding him flashed blindingly bright. Then, Blair's body began to darken, collapse and split apart until, finally, instead of human flesh and bone or a charred, broken corpse, Gryphon/Fergus suddenly found himself facing the claws and snarling jaws of a powerful, grey Wolf, its eyes blazing with fury.

"Try, monster," Wolf/Blair growled, showing gleaming white fangs.

Gryphon/Fergus hesitated, momentarily confused, then lunged.

Wolf/Blair plucked him from the air with powerful jaws and flung the creature away with a toss of his head.

Gryphon/Fergus landed hard in one corner of the room, but was back on his feet in a second.

Wolf/Blair paced restlessly in the center of the room. "Come, thief. Show me how good you were at what you did. It got you killed, didn't it? And for what?"

Gryphon/Fergus lunged again, this time his claws caught Wolf/Blair off the shoulder, scoring through fur and flesh, drawing blood. "I will win this! Ye dinnae want him!" He made another pass, this time going for the eyes.

"It's you who doesn't want him! You want his life! To take his place here in the living world. Well, he belongs to me and his life is his alone. I'll win this because I have to! He's my Sentinel and I love him! You can't have him!" Suddenly, Wolf/Blair ducked under the descending wing of the gryphon and sank his claws deep into the muscle there.

Gryphon/Fergus howled as bright blood spattered them both and he spun away, tearing his flesh from Wolf/Blair's jaws, leaving himself crippled and unable to fly.

"Not so sure of winning now, Brody? Give it up! Go back to Shanan. He loves you. Although, for the life of me, I don't understand why."

"Shanan and I will take our places here when you two are gone," Gryphon/Fergus vowed as he lunged again, this time catching Blair off guard, scoring his back with the sharp beak.

The Wolf/Blair lashed out with forepaws, claws and fangs tearing at the neck of his opponent. "That's not what he wants, Brody!" Taking the offensive this time, Wolf/Blair lunged, bringing himself down and under Gryphon/Fergus' chest, and heaved upwards. The large creature flipped over the wolf's shoulders.

Gryphon/Fergus landed on his back, hard enough to rattle the furniture. His crippled wing folding under him with an audible crack, his weight bearing his body down. The wind momentarily knocked from his lungs so that, when he regained his senses, the large, grey wolf stood over him, its teeth just inches from his throat.

Left back in the mists, Shanan had watched the entire scene unfold with helpless anxiety. He did not want Blair hurt, but he wanted Fergus to remain unharmed as well. As soon as he saw the fangs of the wolf close in about the gryphon's neck he felt the terror of his lover's death all over again. "Ach, please," he whispered near tears. "Not again! I cannae go through it again!"

A moment of blackness, and O'Rourke found himself standing a few feet away from the creatures. "Nay! Blair!" Another voice cried out just as the fangs closed to rip out the eagle's throat. "Dinnae kill him, please!" The air once again wavered and Shanan appeared. "He really is nae bad."

"He tried to take my Sentinel from me!" the wolf hissed as top and bottom fangs pierced the gryphon's neck, drawing rivulets of blood.

"He really is nae bad, Blair," Shanan soothed as he took small, cautious steps towards the two of them.

The wolf growled his reply as jaws closed tighter, and the gryphon whimpered piteously.

"A moment, Blair, please!" Shanan begged desperately afraid to touch them and not knowing what else to do. "Wait, just one moment more and it willnae matter!"

Then, somewhere, in the distance, a clock tolled twelve.

"NAY!" The gryphon snarled. "NAAYYYY!" Just before it shimmered and vanished, its voice still echoing long after it had faded from sight.

At the disappearance of the creature, the form of the wolf also began to shimmer, but instead of vanishing, it twisted and reshaped itself once again into the form of Blair Sandburg. And with the fading of the form, so went the wounds, leaving the guide whole and untouched.

"Where did he go?" Blair asked the little man, panting from the metamorph.

"Back,"Shanan answered sadly as he stared at the place Fergus had been moments before.

Blair glanced towards the balcony just in time to see Jim stagger back into the room. Immediately, Sandburg was at his lover's side, supporting him with his body, wrapping his arms around his waist to keep him from falling. "What'll happen now?"

Shanan shrugged, still watching the last spot where his lover had stood.

Blair lowered Jim gently to the floor. "Will you go back to him?"

"Aye. He's greedy and a thief," he said unhappily, "but he's my greedy thief."

"How did he change like that?" Blair blinked stunned. "How did I change?"

Shanan smiled, his face still full of sorrow. "Ye are a guide. Ye changed because ye were protecting yer Sentinel."

Blair blinked at him. "Then Fergus. . ."

The little man nodded slowly. "Is my guide, aye."

"But he wasn't protecting you."

"Aye, he was in his own mind. Protecting me from an eternity trapped in that place."

Sandburg shook his head. "You deserve better, Shanan."

"Do I? What if 'tis nae what I want?" the spectre whispered morosely, as his form began to fade. "Be well, Blair Sandburg. Love yer sentinel, and be well."

~~~~~~

That night, back at the loft, Blair stood out on the balcony and looked out into the night, hugging his arms around himself against the chill of the air.

"How long are you going to hide out here, Chief?"

Blair jumped at the sound of his sentinel's voice directly behind him.

"I know you must be cold."

He turned. "I'd think you'd be helping me pack my bags by now."

"Why?"

"After I ran out on you like that."

Jim took a step and pulled Blair into the warmth of his embrace. "That was Fergus."

"Yeah," Blair said as he turned to look at Jim. "How much do you remember?"

"Not much," Ellison said solemnly. "And what I do, is like a dream. A nightmare, fading fast."

His Guide nodded in agreement. "How could I let him inside my head like that?"

"The same way I let him inside mine." Jim squeezed him tight. "It wasn't real, Chief. None of it was really real. It was all the mind games of a mad man." He sighed. "Come on. It's over now. Let's go to bed."

Blair pulled away just enough to gaze up into Jim's face. "Bed? Together?" he asked hopefully.

Jim smiled down at him. "You better not be thinking any place else."

Blair smiled back at him and all the pain of the past twenty-four hours began to fade in the distance. He wrapped his arms around Jim and hugged him tight. "I thought I'd lost you!"

"Never, Chief. Never."

They stood like that a moment. Jim was the first to step back. "Your pant's pocket's wet."

Blair looked down and saw Jim was right. He reached inside and found the entire inside of his pocket was soaked. How? He looked up into Jim's face as he remembered. "Shanan's tears."

"What?"

"I put Shanan's tears -- they were diamonds in that other place, and I put them in my pocket."

Jim looked at him oddly. "Right, Chief. You better let me take you inside and put you to bed. We've both had a trying day," he said as he steered his Guide back towards the inside of the loft.

"I guess you're right, Jim," Blair said softly.

Once inside, Sandburg watched as Jim turn out the lights and checked the lock on the door as he waited at the foot of the stairs.

"I wonder what happened to them."

Jim put his arm around his Guide's shoulders, turned them and began walking up the stairs. "What happened to who?"

"Shanan and Fergus. You think they went back?"

"Where else could they go?"

They stopped at the foot of the bed. "Do you believe in Heaven?" Blair asked abruptly.

The question caught Jim in the act of pulling off his T-shirt. "I don't know. I guess, why?"

Blair began pulling off his own clothes. "I don't know. I'm just hoping this little incident finally gave Shanan the strength to go towards the light."

The Sentinel stopped in the act of unsnapping his pants. "Towards the light?"

"Yeah. The common belief is that all spirits are freed by death. They achieve their next level of consciousness/existence by travelling towards the light. Call it heaven, call it the next plane. Shanan and Fergus were trapped someplace Shanan called betwixt and between. Now that Fergus' little scheme failed, maybe they'll move on to the next level."

Jim pulled back the covers and climbed in. "Or Fergus will just bide his time and wait for another opportunity to steal a soul. And Shanan'll wait with him."

Blair hesitated a moment. Jim watched him apprehensively. Blair climbed in beside him and laid down rigidly, waiting until his Sentinel drew him up close. Blair snuggled in.

"I hope not. I wish he'd learn from the experience and go on to something better. I wish he'd finally find some happiness for himself."

"Fergus didn't sound like he was good for him."

"He wasn't."

Jim held Blair tightly against his chest and listened to the calming beat of his heart. "Are you comfortable with this?" he asked at last.

Blair smiled up at him. "This is the only place I ever want to be."

Neither saw the pale, blue diamond that had tumbled from the cuff of the pants Blair had thrown over the bedroom chair glittering in the moonlight.

~~~~~~

"I cannae believe he beat me! Wait! Just wait! Next time I willnae fail," Fergus hissed at the image of Jim and Blair as they drew even closer to one another and their lips met in a soft and tender kiss of exploration, discovery and promise.

Suddenly, Brody became aware of a warm, bright light at his back. He turned just in time to see Shanan walking towards it.

"Shanan!" he called, suddenly afraid. "What are ye abou'! Where do ye think ye are going?"

Shanan turned and smiled at him, a tiny, unhappy smile. "I just realized, Blair's Sentinel was right. Ye are nae good for me, Brody. I have loved ye for centuries, because I dinnae think I deserved better. I died because o' ye, and ye nae loved me back. Not once. I kept hoping for it, wishing for it, but it dinnae happen. May ne'er happen."

"Shanan, ye are being foolish."

"Nay, staying here is foolish." The spectre of the ancient Sentinel regarded his Guide a moment. "Come with me, Fergus."

"What? There?" He pointed towards the shimmering glow. "There is nae place for me there."

"It wouldnae open if that were true, Fergus. Ye couldnae help the way ye died. We've been here a long time. Mebbe ye have been forgiven. Mebbe 'tis time to move on. There will always be a place for ye with me." He smiled. "Are ye afraid? I will protect ye."

"Like ye protected me from the flames?" Brody said, obviously uncomfortable with the conversation.

Shanan's smile disappeared and he closed his eyes against the wave of pain that statement caused. "Nay, that was the one time I failed ye in all the years we were together, and I stayed beside ye ever since, trying to make it up ta ye." A tear trailed down the small man's cheek. "But, more honest the lot, ye died because o' the one thing I couldnae protect ye from. . .yer greedy self. And I will nae waste eternity paying for yer mistakes." He cleared the teardrop from his face with his hand and wiped the moisture from his hand on his shirt. "Goodbye, Fergus."

The guide blinked in surprise. "Goodbye? Ye cannae leave me, Shanan!"

The little man looked amused. "I cannae?"

"Nay! We've been together forever. I took ye in when yer own family cast ye out! I stayed with ye when the entire village shunned ye. Saved ye from being stoned for a witch!"

Shanan smiled the sad smile again. "And grateful I am, but I will nae stay here, Fergus. Come with me."

Fergus looked longingly back at the images of Jim and Blair.

"Ye cannae have that, Fergus. But ye can have this." He pointed towards the light. "And me. Even with all ye have done, ye can still have me."

Shanan waited a minute, watching Fergus watch Jim and Blair. He sighed. "I will wait for ye. . .for a little while, Fergus. But just for a little while. Even fools can learn," he said softly.

Fergus turned back just in time to see Shanan's form disappear into the blinding wall of light.

"Shanan!"

But he was gone as was the light, and the images of Jim and Blair. And, try as he might, the spirit of the Irish guide could call none back.

Fergus found himself alone.