Many thanks once again to the divine Ms. M and the Puff for their beta-ing expertise and finding time for me in their busy schedules.

This is for Nancy Marie, an apology of sorts from "Mind Like a Steel Sieve". Yes, you did ask first, and I forgot.

Secrets

Justin stood by the bed holding a pristine white silk shirt in one hand and a razor sharp pair of shears in the other. Taking several deep breaths to slow his racing heart, the young man raised his arms, bringing the objects in both hands together. He hesitated.

'That's his favorite shirt,' his voice of reason informed him. 'If you do it, it'll hurt him.'

'It's just a shirt,' said his little imp. 'If you do it, it'll show him how much he's hurt you.'

'Don't,' said reason.

'Do it!' said imp.

Justin dropped the scissors and brought the shirt up to his nose, inhaling deeply. Even freshly laundered, it smelled of him. With a sharp pang, young Evers remembered the last time he'd worn the shirt, that day he'd seduc. . .um, persuaded his love to spend a little time with him before going to his father's presentation. . .

"Paddy," he whispered. It had been five days. "Paddy." He wanted him home. He wanted his arms around him.

It had been forever. . .but he didn't want their reunion to start wrong. And cutting up his lover's favorite dress shirt would definitely not be the way to go.

Sighing heavily, Justin calmly replaced the shirt on its hanger and the hanger back in the closet. Closing the door, the young man leaned back heavily on it. Time for some intervention.

Walking over to the nightstand, Justin picked up the phone and dialled.

It rang. And rang. And rang.

Even after the tenth ring, the machine didn't pick up. That was strange. He knew Gideon was back from the desert.

Grabbing his jacket from the bed, young Evers left the room.

~~

"Gideon!" Justin screamed, pounding on the door again. "Gideon Kuschel! I know you're in there! If you don't want me to call the police, you'd better open this door." He pounded again. "Giddy, I mean it."

Justin waited for the count of ten.

He had just turned to walk back down the stairs when the door slowly opened.

"Finally!" Justin snapped as he breezed through the threshold. "What--" He stopped, his gaze sweeping over the shambles of the room. "Giddy--" he said, slowly turning back to look at his friend.

Gideon stood there, leaning on the open door. His hair was a mess, his face red and splotchy, his clothes looked like he'd slept in them for days, and he reeked.

"What happened?" Justin asked with fear. "Was there a break-in?"

"No," Gideon told him, his voice listless and raspy.

"Are you sick?"

"No."

"You look horrible."

"Thanks." A sadness seemed to settle over Gideon's face as he closed the door.

Now Justin became really afraid. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Kuschel all but snarled as he stepped around Justin and down the two stairs into the living room.

"You don't look like nothing's wrong," Justin replied, following him down.

"Why are you here, Evers?"

"You weren't answering your phone."

"That shoulda been your cue."

"What's up with you, Kuschel?"

"I told you, nothing."

"This is me you're talking to. I've known you since the fourth grade. Cough it up."

"Leave me alone, why don't you?"

Justin squared off, putting his hands on his hips. "Not until you talk to me."

It was at that moment that Gideon swung. Justin caught the ill-timed punch and used his friend's momentum to flip him up and over, Gideon finally landing face up on the couch.

"Don't you feel stupid?" Justin asked, looking down at a stunned Kuschel.

"He taught you that, didn't he?" Gideon pouted.

Justin smiled. "He taught me a lot of things."

The sad look returned. "At least he cares about you."

"I'd like to think he loves me, too." Justin came around to sit next to the miserable young man. "Want to talk now? Or will I have to rough you up some more?" he said with a teasing smile.

Gideon sat up, tucking his knees under his chin, holding his legs tightly with his arms. "He left me."

"Who?"

"Damien."

"Who?"

"The chief aide's friend."

Justin frowned. "The one Paddy sent you to in the desert?"

Gideon nodded.

"Okay, Kuschel. Start from the top. What's going on?"

The light-haired man released his legs and began to nervously trace the pattern on the couch's upholstery with a finger. "We. . .he. . .that is to say, Damien. . .um."

"You are turning so red!" Justin told him after watching Gideon stumble and stutter for several minutes. Slowly, a wide-eyed look of comprehension came over his face. "Gideon Kuschel!" Evers chuckled. "He boffed you!" Then he laughed out loud, which only added to his friend's discomfort.

Gideon turned redder, then scowled. "I'd like to think it was more that than, Evers," he said indignantly.

"Well, shit, damn, hell!" his friend whimpered, helpless with glee. "Was it good?"

"Shut up, Evers!" he snarled.

"Don't tell me," Justin snickered as he tried to swallow his mirth. "If it wasn't, you wouldn't be this upset."

"Give it a rest, I said."

"Look at you! I never thought I'd see the day. . .ummmpff."

One of the cushions from the back of the couch cut off the rest of the dark haired young man's comments.

Pulling the offending object from his face, Justin dissolved into helpless laughter.

"I don't see what's so funny." Gideon surged to his feet. "Stop laughing, Justin."

"I'm sorry, Giddy," he said trying to get his mirth under control. "I'm not laughing at you, I'm just happy for you, that's all."

Gideon placed his arms across his chest in a defensive gesture and glared down at his friend. "You don't sound happy."

Justin laid the pillow aside and stood up. "But I am." He drew Gideon up against him and hugged him hard. "I'm very happy for you, Giddy."

Kuschel resisted at first, but, slowly, he relaxed against the comfort of the hug. After several moments his arms came around Justin's slender form to hug him back.

"What am I going to do, J.C.?" he asked as he buried his face in his friend's shoulder.

"About what?"

"He left me."

Justin stepped back. "He didn't leave you."

"Yes he did. He dropped me off almost a week ago and I haven't heard from him since."

"It was five days ago, Giddy," Justin said sternly.

"It was. . .how did you know?"

"Because Paddy left at the same time."

"What? Why? Are they together?"

"Yes."

"Doing what? Stuff for the Councilor?" he asked hopefully.

"No."

"What then? Camping? Fishing? Chasing women?"

"You know better than that, Giddy."

"No. I don't." He threw himself back down on the couch.

Justin sat next to him. "Yes, you do." He tapped the left side of his friend's chest with his finger. "In here."

"Aww, J.C. No. I don't."

"You're just afraid, Giddy."

"But I haven't heard from him. Not a phone call, not a letter, nothing."

"That's not because he doesn't care." Justin started laughing again. "Remember when we had this same conversation up in my studio? I was getting ready to cut up Paddy's picture?"

"Yeah."

"What did you tell me?"

"That you'd regret it."

Justin looked around at the ramshackle room. "Guess it's a little too late for that line, huh?"

Gideon smiled self-consciously. "I guess."

"Tell you what, how 'bout I help you clean up?"

"Naw."

"Come on, Giddy. It'll help pass the time."

"Don't want to," Kuschel said stubbornly.

Justin leaned in closer. "Want Damien to come home and see evidence of your tantrum?"

Gideon pouted for a moment. "Guess not."

Justin snorted. "Can you get any less enthusiastic, Kuschel?" He stood.

"So, you think he's coming back?"

"You can bet on it," Justin said, nodding emphatically.

"When?"

Justin shrugged. "Let's get at it."

Three and a half hours later, after hot showers, two tired young men lay sprawled across Gideon's bed, Justin dressed in borrowed clothes.

"Next time you throw a tantrum, I'm gonna let you face the music," Justin groused, pushing hair from his forehead.

"Guess I did go a little overboard, huh?"

Justin raised his head to glare at his friend. "Think?" he sneered.

Gideon smiled. "Thanks, man."

"Just remember you owe me," Justin said, as he lay his head back on the mattress.

After several minutes, he heard the quiet confession:

"I love him, J.C."

"Yeah? I kinda figured that one out for myself, Giddy."

"Where is he?"

"I don't know."

"What's he doing?"

"Making the world safe," Justin answered, just as quietly.

"What?"

He raised his head again. "When he comes home, ask him, it's his secret to tell, not mine."

"When he comes home?" Gideon said softly, liking how it felt on his tongue.

"Yeah."

~~~

Patrick Choate frowned at his lover's empty room. Justin had not been in his suite of rooms, either. It was late. Too late to be out without at least a note of explanation.

"Where are you, little boy?" he said softly, his eyes sweeping the room for clues of his errant lover's whereabouts.

The harsh 'chirp' of his cell phone interrupted his thoughts.

Snatching it up, he opened it with a deft flick of his wrist. "Choate."

"Lose something, Viper?"

This was a surprise. "Clutch?"

The agent chuckled softly. "Didn't want you to worry."

Even more of a surprise. "What?"

"Come pick up C.D."

~~

Justin was having the best dream. Paddy was home. He could hear his voice clearly. He spoke in that tone guaranteed to raise his blood temperature and in Spanish. Damn, he loved when his man spoke to him in his native tongue. Even when he scolded, but especially when he made him think of. . .

He opened his eyes to stare into milk-chocolate pools.

"Paddy!" He couldn't help but smile.

"Dulce. ¿Por qué estas en la cama con Gideon? ¿Hay algo que necesitas o que deseas decirme?"

Justin's mind tried to focus. 'Cama' was bed. 'Con' meant with, and he understood Gideon. Because he could tell the tone was light and teasing, Justin sat up, a naughty little smile on his lips. "I only want you, querido. All I need to tell you is that I love you." His voice dropped to an alluring whisper. "Among other things." Evers moved closer. "If you're worried, mi amor, maybe you won't leave me alone so long next time," he purred as he leaned forward until his lips were only a breath away.

"Hmmm, I could just lock you in my room."

"Without you there? That's pretty pointless."

"It would keep you from straying."

Justin wound his arms around his lover's muscular neck. "You have nothing to worry about there." He leaned forward for a kiss.

"Ah hem."

The lovers turned to find Gideon watching them with unabashed interest and Damien scowling them with blatant impatience.

"I think Clutch wants to be alone, Paddy," Justin whispered mischievously.

With a predatory growl, his lover grabbed him by the waist and tossed him over his shoulder. "'Nite, Damien," he said, gruffly as he headed for the door.

"Bye Giddy! Damien!" Justin called, raising his head long enough to wave.

"Thanks, J.C."

"Anytime, man. You've done it for me enough."

The door closed firmly on anything else Justin said.

Gideon hungrily looked up into the dark eyes of his lover. "You came back."

That raised the older man's brow. "Didn't you want me to?"

"I didn't want you to go," his lover told him with a frown.

Silver Fox pulled his shirt off over his head and tossed it aside. "I had to."

Kuschel watched the article of clothing arch across the air to land gracefully across a chair in the corner. "That's what Justin said."

"He did, did he?"

Gideon's attention once again returned to his lover and he watched as Damien impatiently peeled the rest of his clothes away. "Off making the world safe," the young man muttered, mesmerized by the display of flesh before him.

"Something like that," Damien said quietly as he eased his naked frame down to sit on the mattress.

"I wish you'd told me," he whispered hoarsely.

Raising up on his knees, the older man stalked towards his prey. "Told you what?" his said, his voice rumbling from deep within him.

Now Gideon's eyes were wide as he sat frozen. "Where you were going."

"I didn't know."

Kuschel frowned. "The how. . .who. . ."

Damien pounced, stretching his body out over Gideon's and silenced his lover with a kiss.

When he released him, Gideon panted. "I didn't think you were coming back."

Damien placed his fingers across the younger man's lips. "We'll talk about it later."

Gideon saw twin images of himself reflected within his lover's dark eyes. "Talk. . .about. . .what?" he said distractedly.

Then he forgot about everything else, but the hard body above him and the strong arms that held him close.