Issue
Message
(by RevBade)
Well. Congratulations! This is
the 20th issue of The Plug to be
released. YAHOO! It is also the last issue to be released
in 1997. So, as you have most likely noticed, this issue is a bit
different. Instead of the usual 2 double sided pages we’ve
splurged a bit (thanks to donations from several people) and have
gone ahead and made it 3 double sided pages. Don’t get your
hopes up though. This wont be happening each time. For one we
wouldn’t get enough article submissions for it, and for another we wouldn’t get enough
donations for it.
Other then that, ENJOY! This issue is actually
FILLED with things written by you! There were some people who got
a little carried away and wrote 2... 3... or even 4 articles, but
hey, what the heck. The more the merrier.
As for what you should read, please do take the
time to read the next two articles. They happen to be critiquing
The Plug, and you may find them interesting. As I read over these
two articles yet again, I feel as though I both should and
shouldn’t write something in response to them. However, at
this particular moment I have nothing else to do besides
homework, and that does not sound all too promising. So, I shall
write. I’ve put my response after their articles so as
hopefully you will read theirs first.
No
Mercy for the Masses
(by Demosthenese)
A line in one of last issue's
articles struck me. "...The Plug not having much of a
political opinion anymore." Well, a thought occurred. Who
does The Plug cater to? Anyone? The subversive element lurking on
the fringe? How about those regular people just trying to exist?
Do we cater to no one? Is every article aimed simply at it's own
writer? Who the hell, knows. Frankly, I don’t care so much
about the answer as I do about making the readers and writers
think about who they’re writing to. Think about the people
who you see reading The Plug before you write.
Now you should know something, I’m not
telling you to adjust your style to fit the readers of this or
any other publication, I am saying, don’t tell me something
I’m not going to listen to. It's a waste of both my time and
yours and it raises the printing costs.
Plug In
the Comic Relief
(by anonymous)
Shit, dick, turnip, cesspool,
eyeball!
What’s wrong? Not laughing
yet? You say that’s not funny? You laughed at it before,
didn’t you?
What is the point of The Plug.
Do any of you Freshmen and Sophomores even know why it started
and what it stood for? The Plug was started by a guy who called
himself Corwin, Josh McKee. He started it because the
high-o-scope was (& still is) a forum for absolutely nothing.
A place where students could write assortments of nonsense that
happened to them with the hot sauce at FrexMex. Josh wanted The
Plug to be a forum for ideas, thought, and discussion on things
that mattered. This, however, is not The Plug today. I’m not
blaming anyone, especially not the editor, but if all The Plug is
for now is comic relief, why don’t we call it "The
high-o-scope 2?"
Suggestion
for a New Club
(by Corwin)
Hey boys and girls. Yes, that's
right, boys and girls! What clubs do you belong do? Do any of
them relate to your budding sexuality? If you answered
"no", then this may be for you!
With the gay, lesbian, and bisexual clubs in
full bloom around Corvallis, we heterosexuals can feel awfully
left out. The gays and lesbians have parades, potlucks, cool
buttons and slogans, not to mention an excellent dating pool. Why
don't heterosexuals have the same things? I'd like to suggest the
formation of The Eden Society, Corvallis's first heterosexual
club! In today's world, it isn't easy being straight. Sometimes
we need a place where we can talk to other straights about being
straight. Let's make The Eden Society that place!
Studboy's
Guide to CDs
(by Studboy)
Yo yo jazzy mommas dis be da
studoby in da house, word to yo diggidy dogies! Yous wantsta know
all bout da CDs so Iz telling yah dat dey burn da wood cuz deres
music on dem ahn ya can smack yo homies with da cases cus dey
break an its no prob yo just buy someadose honkey ass extras so
yous can busta move wit yo tunes like da homies on MTV2. Word up
G, yo break da fool an buysome morea dose discs!
The
Christmas Conspiracy
(by Cramer)
I'm sure you've all noticed
similarities between Santa Claus and the "King of Rock 'n'
Roll", Elvis Presly. However, upon closer inspection we
realize the two are MORBIDLY alike. In fact, I have reason to
believe Elvis Aaron Presly and Santa Claus are ONE IN THE SAME.
That's right folks, Elvis is Santa and Santa is Elvis.
Let's examine the facts:
Santa: Was very fat the last time he was
seen
Elvis: Was very fat the last time he was seen
Santa: Loves candy canes
Elvis: Loved nose-candy
Santa: Says "Ho, ho, ho!"
Elvis: Had sex with one every night
Santa: Travels all the way around the
world in 24 hours
Elvis: Once spent 24 hours at an all-you-can-eat buffet (
"I gotta get my $7.99 worth, baby.")
Santa: Works during Christmas, a time of
year when buildings are covered with bright lights
Elvis: Worked in Las Vegas, a city where buildings are
covered with bright lights
Creepy, isn't it? So, what's it
got to do with you? Simple. Ever heard of a little something
called chocolate? Right now about 50% of our chocolate is coming
out of Columbia. How do you think Bill Cosby got another TV show?
It makes sense.
Waiting for Apocalypse
(by Demosthenese)
Right
Left
Paciderm or Ass,
It matters not to
the millions of apathy
drowned malcontents.
We do not see a future
beaming from the
television we never watch.
Why don’t we have direction?
Why does the inane
spontaneity that we love
grate on you so much?
Maybe it's because we
see the timer on the
wall behind you.
Look into my mirrored
sunglasses sometime and
you'll see more then a
set of intelligent, young
eyes, filled with nothing
but contempt.
You'll see your own destruction in the ticking of the seconds,
and the burning fire
in my soul.
I think I may, as a way of explanation, tell
you who Demosthenese was, just in case you don’t already
know. Demosthenese was a Greek orator in Athens during the reign
of Ceasar. He was known for his fire speeches that would set the
souls of patriots ablaze and move the most prosaic of men.
Granted, I’m no demosthenese, but hey, i can dream cant i?
Anyway, he was attacked several times during his life for things
like briery and corruption, but always, he gave a passionate
speech and the court was so moved by it that they found no way
that such a man could possibly be guilty. Kind of a nice talent
if you ask me =P demosthenese was banished during the rule of
Alexander, but was readmitted to Athens upon his death. There,
now doesn’t it make you feel better
In Response to
Critiques of The Plug
(by Revbade)
First off, Demosthenese’s
article somewhat says what I have wanted to say... Somewhat. I
actually had gotten that article for the last issue, but
didn’t have enough room to print it.
Now, "Plug in the comic relief" is an
article that I had to think about. I wasn’t sure whether I
should print it or not, but I do want to promote free speech, so
as you can see I printed it.
My first reaction to this article was my
"If you don’t like The Plug, don’t read it"
policy, but after some thought something interesting struck me.
The author was asking if any of us "Freshmen and Sophomores
even know why it started and what it stood for". My question
for the author is, "How would you know?" Although you
did get the reason right, I find it interesting that you would
know this with so much confidence. After all, you weren’t
even around when the original Plug came out. None of the Juniors
or Seniors were. The last class who was around when the original
Plug still came out was last years Seniors. So I ask again, how
would you know?
The only way that the CHS student body would
have read the "Old Plug" is if they had gotten a hold
of a copy from someone else who used to attend. I know there are
those of you who remember "The Plug", but I am telling
you there were no issues released while you were going to CHS. As
I said, maybe you got a copy of an old issue from a friend, after
all that is entirely possible. I just don’t see how you can
talk about something that you didn’t experience as though
you had.
As to what you were saying, that may be true
that The Plug used to be that way, but the key part of the
sentence here is "used
to be." The students at CHS are different now then they were
back then. They write what they want to read. Although The Plug
may have been more "pure" back then, who cares.
It’s still around for the same reason. We still have people
who use The Plug to express their opinions. To tell you the truth
though, if all I printed were the political opinion articles
there is no way The Plug would have had enough for more then 2
issues at the most this year. Besides, no one would want to read
it. It wouldn’t be interesting enough to survive. The Plug
never was all opinion articles. If you look back at the old issue
you’ll see what I mean.
The Plug is "For and by the CHS student
body." So if the student body wants to write about Turnips
(Which btw, I personally thought was a pretty cool article), or
one really long sentence that although may be a bit disgusting,
if you just take it easy while reading it can actually be funny,
or perhaps an article about getting drunk, I say let them!
This is what they want to read. So who are YOU
to say that just because The Plug doesn’t stick 100% to its
original purpose it is no better then The HOS?
Right now I’m guessing that most of The
People who read your article calling The Plug "HOS 2"
are looking to kick your ass. (Unless they are a Plug hater, but
if they are then they probably didn’t read it.)
If you want The Plug to be more political then
do something. Don’t just sit there on your ass complaining.
You have only written for The Plug twice so far. At least
everyone else writes.
I’m not saying that you can’t have an
opinion. Everyone has an opinion, and The Plug is here for them
to get their opinion heard. I’m just saying, "If you
don’t like The Plug, then don’t read it."
P-Chan Vs. The
Pillsbury Doughboy
(by P-Chan)
I’m sure you all have had experiences with
extremely annoying people in your classes, right? Well
here’s a story of P-Chan (me), and this really obnoxious
person I will call the Pillsbury Dough Boy.
Okay, so I was sitting in one of my classes the
other day, and this obnoxious little, short, pudgy guy comes up
to me and shows me his "Hanson" CD, and starts to go on
and on about how it’s his favorite album. I cringed, grabbed
my "Kill ‘em All" by Metallica CD, and hid behind
it. The little freak ran away.
P-Chan: 1 Dough Boy: 0
So then the teacher asks the class a question.
A very simple question, sort of like "What’s 2x2?"
only we weren’t in math. Dough Boy starts thinking out-loud
"It’s 6, no 8." And everyone in the class glares
at him until finally I answer the question "4".
P-Chan: 2 Dough Boy: 0
Anyway, after lecturing us the teacher gives
the class an assignment, and then some time to work on it in
class. Dough Boy pulls out his headphones and turns his
"Hanson" CD up so loud the whole class has to suffer
listening to it. So what do I do? I get the guys around me to
play Metallica, Megadeath, and Nine Inch Nails, on their CD
players as loud as they can. Dough Boy went ballistic, and the
teacher yelled at him.
P-Chan: 3 Dough Boy: 0
Anyway, after that the bell rang and class was
over. This is only a small sampling of how obnoxious this guy is.
This is a true story. The names and class have
been changed to protect the identities of those involved. But if
you really want to know who the Dough Boy is, you can just come
up and ask me.
How Worms Have Babies
(by Michael Hauntswat)
Once I saw groups of worms in
short grass stuck to each other. My mommy said "Oh Mike,
they are having babies." And I said I didn’t see any
storks, but I was just tricking her. I have seen this kinky worm
junk on the Television and the Net. I mean it’s like NC 17
material.
But I have a question for you worm readers; How
do you know if your budy isn’t your own sex? I mean it could
be like this, Ms. Worm prepares a nice bed of grass for you and
you are at work late, so Miss. Worm next door walks by and your
wife sticks to her and all the kinky things a deprived house worm
would do, and you finally come home from busting your tail off at
work and find your wife is a tramp? You worms need some distinct
"equipment" to show your sexuality and the mood you are
in, that will be all!
Knowledge is Power?
(by Demosthenese)
Something bothersome. A
question. Do I live in a world where the pestilence that is
ignorance is so rampant as to be seen as normal, or do I exist in
one. I pose my question this way because I do not presume the
existence and prevalence of ignorance, but the native of my
interaction with it. I’ve been known to attack ignorance and
the ignorant maliciously in the same breath as I pass off one of
my own ignorant actions as nothing. Does this make me a hypocrite
or human. It would seem that I’m both, as we all must be,
but again, do I live or exist in this world. Can I really live a
life I would call such in a world where I can be discriminated
against based on the slant of my eyes and cut of my clothes? How
can one thrive under these strictures? Ian Malcom said "Life
finds a way" but does the abstraction of life that I hold
dear follow the same rules? As I read my own words I see that I
have come upon only questions. Is this the nature of knowledge?
To know nothing. Do only the ignorant know things then. How ironic that would be. That the truly ignorant are the
only people who think that they know what they know. After
all, 500 years ago "Everyone knew that the world was
flat." 5 minutes ago I knew that I was going to answer an
important question. Imagine what we’ll know tomorrow.
