To giati den boroume einai toso ksekatharo oste na min boreis na to deis. Apo tora isws nomizeis pws ksereis se ti tha anaferthw.. pws tha milisw gia to "kathestws" pou men tazei eleutheria alla pou fisika me agrafous nomous den epitrepei na ekfrastoume opws mas katevei giati alliws tha eimastan zwa. Bebea den einai mono afto giati iparxoun skepseis kai skepseis , prakseis kai prakseis pou den kataxwrounte oles sta zwodh enstikta.. oxi omws den milaw gia afta.. Milaw gia poli politismenes skepseis pou epidi akrivws einai toso politismenes, ntreponte na bgoune apo mesa mas. Ouf einai diskolo na sou dwsw ena paradigma apla giati kai egw den eimai sigouros. Einai apla kati pou merikes fores niwthw... thelw na pw kati, na ekfrastw kapws, na anixtw tooooso da parapanw kai ksafnika briskome brosta apo ena teixos ftiagmeno apo kati to akatanoito kai stamataw.. apla stamataw paroles tis krauges mou na sinexisw. Kati pou pio mikros tha to elega i tha to ekana sigoura tora mou einai diskolo na kataferw. Arage afto einai to na megalwneis? To na anakalipteis perisotera ebodia?
To gamble me afto to thema pou exo dialeksei tora den einai kai toso emfanes giauto tha to eksigisw. Exoume loipon ena thema gia kati pou den boroume na poume.. as to thesw kalitera: gia kati pou den boro na pw. Epomenos afou den boro na to pw , den to exo pei , den kserw ti einai kai epomenos den kserw an esi katalaveneis gia ti pragma milaw giati isws kai na min iparxei. Parolauta enw olo afto to keimeno einai mono tou kati pou den boro na pw, tha sinexisw. (Anarwtiese mipws pws einai dinaton na exo tin ikanotita na gemizw toses polles selides me malakies? Hehe afto einai pou leo gamble..)
Sinexizw! Gia na dwsw ena kapoio skopo sto keimeno mou kai gia na se dieukolino amoire neare pou epeses edo kai pou sinexizeis na diavazeis, tha pw pws pisteuw oti an oloi mas afiname kardia mialo kai stoma na kanoun oti theloun (ligo diforoumeno afto mia kai emeis ousiastika mono kardia kai mialo eimaste opote den boroume na ta afisoume na kanoun oti theloun alla exeis piasei to noima) tha blepame ton eauto mas na leei kai na kanei alla , na einai alliws apo afto pou eimaste... kai oloi mazi tha zousame se ena poli pio anthropino perivalon. Kai afto giati afta pou krivoume , pou den boroume na poume einai ousiastika afta pou exoun tin megisti simasia.. And I quote apo Savatage:
All the things she keeps inside
All the things that really matter
The face puts on its best disguise
And all is well until the heart.. betrays..
Ousiastika pisteuw pws afto me kaliptei sxedon. Bazoume maskes tin mia meta tin alli, pezoume tous xameleontes se ena tablo me ametritous sindiasmous xrwmatwn me apotelesma na krivoume afto pou i psixi mas prostazei. Poios tin akouei omws pleon tin psixi tou? Pios exei to kouragio na kanei oti tou leei i kardia tou? Pios tha antexe kiolas.. mipws to antexei h koinwnia mas nomizeis? Dokimase kai tha deis ti enow. Prospathise gia mia mono fora na anixteis oso den paei allo , mexri pou na skasei apo xara i kardia sou , se kapoion kai tha deis ti enow. Egw piga na to prospathisw kapote kai akoma tremw gia na kleisw tis pliges pou mou afise. Kaneis den einai etimos gia tetoia teliotita, oute esi oute egw giati pote den tin exoume zeisei. Afti tin ateliwth eleutheria na les afto pou pragmatika thes na kaneis afto pou pragmatika nomizeis, tin pragmatiki teliotita tou na eisai anthropos.
Ela tora.. min arxiseis na prospatheis na kataripseis tis idees mou. Kserw kserw an to ekanan oloi afto an itan mia pragmatikotita tote mou les pws tha zousame se anarxia. Omws file mou trane egw den sou milaw gia to na bgenei kapoios kai na arxisei na biazei kai na skotonei epidi i kardia tou to leei. Nai fisika iparxoun kai tetoioi anthropoi to dexome, alla giati sinexws na paei o nou sou sta akra. Des to poli pio apla... arxise me to na skeftese pws tha itan an ikseres oti afto pou sou eipe kapoios itan pragmatika afto pou enouse afto pou ithele na pei. Na ksereis pws h eikona pou sximatises gia kapoion itan h eikona TOU , oxi o antikatoprismos aftou pou ithele na sou dwsei. Ti teleia pou tha itan. Na ksereis oti boreis na aggaliaseis xwris fovo.. Min arxiseis tora filosofies peri poia i aksia tis alitheias an den iparxei psemma. Ola afta einai apla bullshit I alitheia einai alitheia kai to psemma einai psemma , kai ksereis pio thes. Bebea opws kai to kako me to kalo tha iparxoun kai tha iparxoun gia panta kai etsi distixws to keimeno mou kataxwrite san oneiro.. enas fasmatikos kosmos.
Exoun kapoio noima arage ola afta pou eipa? Isws kai oxi.. isws na einai autonoita isws oloi ta kseroun alla kaneis den ta leei. Alla thats my whole point actually..