Pisces II::

I first heard that Kurt Cobain shot himself
On my way out the door to the bar
On my 21st birthday
April 9th, 1994
At first I didn't care...
Another rock star suicide...
I smiled, I thought for a second about it
I went out, I had fun
I was 21.

I remember hearing 
"Smells Like Teen Spirit"
The first time
1991
It changed me in some way
In a time of changes...
Graduated from high school
Ready to go to school
Scared-excited
That song was something
New, different-haunting and beautiful
Raw & Exposed
Like nothing I'd ever heard before...
The dawn of the rebirth of rock
Guitars-minor key
Silly lyrics-divine name
Nirvana
I remember saying, when I heard it
"Who is this band?"
Then the name came, Nirvana
And I knew it was real...and important

Bought the tape, liked it
Listened to it for a while
It became popular, got sick of it
Never bought "In Utero"...

Then, 1994
Another time of changes
Going to vet school in the fall
Turned 21, broke up with the
Boyfriend

After he died, I bought 
"In Utero"....I was spellbound,
Amazed...moved to deeper emotions again
Just like "Teen Spirit"
And started reading about Kurt
A Pisces...and then, I knew
That Pisces were the ones who
Would eventually elude me...and capture me
His blonde hair, his blue eyes
His sad eyes-angelic face
And I felt sad-so sad
He was gone-
Pisces take the world on their shoulders
And it makes them who they are - martyrs
A soul too sensitive for its own good...
An intuitive, pyschic aura
A bittersweet old soul...
With too much to bear....but they do it always
Because it's who they are.

And I despised those who saw him
As a coward...
Suicide is not cowardly
Takes guts...."Fuck You World!"
The ultimate "Fuck-You"
And I thought it made sense...
Not for me, but it made sense...

And I stared at pictures of him
With his little girl
Both beauty-so sad

And I cried for him
And for this fucked up world...
I really did...I cried
Real tears, it was a catharsis
A release...

To this day, sometimes I look at
Pictures
And I am still moved to tears
Kurt in pajamas, looking scruff
Looking, eyes down to the floor
Like an angel...
A piscean angel on earth...
Waiting for the time he knew would come
And I cry...and I know its only the Pisces
Who know the world....and cry for it all...for all of us.

-Kimberly N. Hunt
(c) 1998, 1999

written October 1998