PE Guild Posts Page

These are some of my Favorite Posts

(here is one of Mary's):

From: "Mary Ciccocioppo" To: perules@geocities.com Subject: designer underwear Date: Sun, 16 Nov 1997 15:59:37 PST This letter was inspired by the cover of #28. (people will think I'm a freak when I'm finished with this, but...oh well...VIVA LA INTERNET!) Okay, I think Drew draws the classiest bras I've ever seen. I mean, ladies, how many times do you go to the department store...or wherever you purchase underwear...and have noticed that bras are decidely lacking in figure, class, or taste? Drew's bras kicked the ass of any Victoria Secret brand I saw, which makes me think that perhaps Drew should come out with his own designer line of underwear. I mean, really. Get up from your computer and go have another look at the cover of #10. Kinda satiny green with that lacey section at the top for those days when you just want to say "assassin." I don't know. I think they're unique in a way. Now, all the guys out there are yelling, "but Mary, what about us? What do we do on the days we don't feel like cross dressing???" Well, for you discriminating gentlemen Drew will have the "Purple Marauder" line for all your undergarment needs. Each garment will come in the same basic cut and will each sport that incredibaly sensual shade of plum you have each all come to love. Now, I know what you're saying. "Mary, they only come in purple? How will you allow for individual tastes and preferences." Well, gentlemen, the "Purple Marauder" label alone will identify you as a virtual Mountain of Man-ness, but if that isn't enough, I will also explain that this exclusive line comes in many different fabrics and textures. Our fleecy angora thong is just perfect for those cold winter nights, and nothing says "sensual" like our satin/silk combination. Hate those annoying cotton blends? Our Polyester Purple will always declare you the "grooviest cat" at all your favorite retro discos. And, of course, nothing screams "Stud" more than a pair of purple corduroy thongs. This could work. I'm sure of it. "The Hayes Collection." I like the sound of it. Hmmm. Could Drew make some money off of this or what? I'm just trying to help plan for Mary (Hayes) college education here...so she doesn't have to hock her set of the original Mulehides for beer, I mean. (uh...see SN in issue...uh...oh I forget.)

(my post):

>>"The Hayes Collection." >>I like the sound of it. but Jola says... why stop there??? why not an entire merchandising empire? let's go through the typical day in Lusephur-Land, shall we? [breakfast-time] Talon's Toasted Treats Frosted Fleece Flakes (for the kiddies) the official Tenth Toothbrush (Fleece-Floss optional) [lunch] Lusephur Lager Strider's Salami Sandwiches (mmmmmm!) [dinner] since your eating out, use the Marauder Mastercard... and earn Marauder Miles... **NYAR!! The Phallic-Shaped Object Hurtling Through The Air... [..ummph,ggggiaaahhh... mphhhh... gag...sputter...nyar?..]** -it's ok folks, weve managed to get him under control- **NYAR! Upon You Deluded Ones, And NYAR! Again, As I Escape Your Foul Clutches!!! Know Ye Not The Manly Power Of the purple Marauder's Advertising?** ugh, fly the "Purple Skies" indeed... [evening entertainment] Vido's Videos Par's Pub

(Here is another of Mary's posts)

Today's Topic: Marshmallows. I know what you're thinking, "how the hell can you possibly relate Marshmallows to Poison Elves, Mary? Have you gone insane?" Well, the answer is yes, but that still doesn't mean I can't relate the two. Right now, I'm not sure how I'll do it, but we'll just see where Stream Of Consciousness leads me...and it's been really quiet out there, so it's not like you are all drowning in mail or anything. Marshmallows are goooooooood. Yummy. But they are so damn plain right out of the bag...you gotta get them nice and warm and goey and then you can create smores and, my favorite, rice crispy treats!! How many of you remember "fluffernutter"? Some of the slightly older GenXers and up may remember it. It was like whipped Marshmallow cream, and you slapped that bad-boy stuff on a slice of bread with peanut butter and you were hyper for hours. Only problem was that it was infernally sticky, got all over everything, and caused spontaneous, painful face-scrubbings by mom after such a meal....heh...I guess you could say that Luse just got a painful face scrubbing after being unusually hyper. The way I see it, Luse is not the type of elf who eats his Marshmallows right out the bag either...no no, way too plain. So he's got to heat them up, burn them over an open fire, watch as they become a torch, and then tries to eat them afterward. Nothing is more exciting around a campfire than getting a really good blaze going on your marshmallow and I happen to like mine burt...they seem sweeter that way. Well, one can only expect sticky situations to follow. In a way, #32 was the culmination of a camp fire situation. All of his life, Jace has been eating his Marshmallows right out of the bag. He thought they were pretty tasty that way. They were also easy to manage and convenient...That is, until he met up with Luse and noticed that Luse liked to impale his marshmallows on thin sticks and shove them into a blaze. Luse insisted that it was the only way to eat a marshmallow. Jace started to doubt his former method, and desparate for something new (they were, until this point slightly cubish, soft, white and boring...the marshmallows, I mean) decided to try the roasting bit himself figuring that even if he didn't like the taste, the excitement of the fire certainly added a whole new level to his Marshmallow consuming. Well, Jace didn't really care for the stickiness at first, but he did agree that the Marshmallows tasted better. Luse was continually getting goo all over himself but he lived with it and Jace finally conceded that his former ways were pretty boring compared to this....he only wished he could find a way to roast the Marshmallow and at the same time, keep from getting sticky...Okay, are any of you following along with this metaphor? If you haven't realised by now that Marshmallows represent life than go back and reread because I'm getting to issue #32 now...stay with me... Okay, in issue #32, Jace finally realized that he couldn't have the best of both Marshmallow worlds...it was either going to be to go back to the convenience of the bag but the less satisfying Marshmallow, or get the better tasting one and get into some seriously sticky situations. He weighed his choices. It seems Jace decided to take the sticky route, because otherwise he'd have no reason to hang around camp fires with Luse anymore because Luse invariably got sticky stuff on everyone in the vicinity... And Jace had grown fond of camp fires with Luse.... So his decision was made... Wow...I did it. Goddamn...Marshmallows and PE...can I get Putlitzer prize for this?

This page hosted by

Get your own Free Home Page