Personally, I don't mind a child leaving things laying around, because I am much the same way. But if that bothers you, or your bothers your spouse or partner, try a different approach instead of yelling at your child to pickup.

THE BYE-BYE BAG

I once suggested it to my wife as I felt bad for the kids, and it was not easy. I didn't even tell the kids ahead of time what was going on, just went around, picked up all unattended toys, put them in a bag, and waited for their reaction.

Once they noticed toys missing, they asked "Where are our toys!?", and I said, "they're in the bye-bye bag". They couldn't believe I'd do that, looked undignified, and I simply said, "Hey, if they were important to you, you would put them away. But, if you go an entire day, and you leave nothing out after you're done with it, you can each go to the bye-bye bag and take one thing out.

At first the bag filled fast, and there were more bags. But slowly it steadied, and I knew the toys they were tired of, because they'd be the one's left toward the bottom of the bag. Plus, by the look of the bag, they sure wondered if I'd dare throw them in the garbage, and I was not about to let on that I had no intention of doing that. I had a special surprise planned.

Toward the end of the year, after a few specially planned discussions about orphans, or those less fortunate than us, I gave each of the kids a chance to turn all this into something really nice.

Toys for Tots needed toys, and I let them donate what was left in the bag (or bags) at the end of the year.

Results: No more yelling. A few days of hurt feelings, but a year of pride as they'd compete to pick up after themselves to earn back some favorite toy. Then the chance for them to make a difference in someone's life. Win-win. Also, it gives both adults the opportunity to show they work in solidarity, showing your children that the two of you are one, and they can't exploit that, either.

The duck becomes a swan, a twig becomes an oak, invest in your child, use instinct to build love within themselves.

A child can't become abused once they truly love that which created them, what God created, which allows them to love others the same way.

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