So yeah. A disposable lighter with an American flag on it. To me, this is the funniest thing in the world. Well, all right, not as funny as Monty Python or "Doonesbury" or a lot of other very funny people, places, and things. But pretty funny. Why? I can't explain -- if you don't already think it's funny, you probably never will. I could stretch the truth and say it's the irony of a flag on something you use to light things on fire ... or the cynical humor to be found in the fact that the "sacred" symbol of the light of freedom is on all kinds of cheap, crappy consumer goods that you lose or throw away before you've had them for a month. But the truth is, none of that was in my mind when I saw the American flag lighter at the gas station, cracked up laughing, and bought one.
But the truth is, I just like to get the tackiest lighters possible whenever I buy lighters (and there's no need to jump to any conclusions, y'all, many people have lighters for many reasons, like lighting candles, lighting campfires, waving at rock concerts, and burning things, like books, and, well, flags. But you will assume what you will.) Deer heads. Race cars that say "John Deere." Stupid jokes about men. I think these are tacky disposable lighters and I love them. Maybe no one gets it but me. Maybe there is nothing to "get." But you will forgive me for thinking that people who know me -- heck, this web page used to have a picture of Che Guevara where the flag lighter is -- would know I was not jumping on the bandwagon of hyperpatriotism when I whipped out the ol' Flag-o-Bic. Well, I was wrong. Maybe the Left is feeling threatened and paranoid, maybe it has lost its sense of humor (a long-standing charge -- many think it never had one). Maybe I am just having a prolonged inside joke with myself.
Well, I was quietly doing homework in a coffee shop not long ago and a man with an accent approached me and asked if I had a light. I smiled and fished out my, you guessed it, American Flag Lighter (doesn't it sound like a tool for flag burning when you say it that way???) -- and much to my surprise he said, "I will find another light." He actually asked three other people, none of whom could assist, and as he passed my table on his forlorn way back, he remarked, "There are some colors I am allergic to."
Which I thought was a very nice way to put it. I took no offense. This was a stranger, he could reasonably expect me to have such a lighterout of devotion to the symbol it bore.
I said, "Sir," (well, I didn't say "sir," exactly, but if I'd been having this conversation circa 1750 I might have) "I have this lighter for the humor value."
"The humor value?" says he. "Well all right then." And he takes it, lights his cigarette, and goes on his way.
And might I add, for a while I was considering taking this story down, because the situation was getting a little too un-funny. But a few weeks ago I dislocated my shoulder by falling on a patch of ice in glorious Minneapolis, MN. I went to the health center at the University of Minnesota, where I am a graduate student, to take advantage of my awesome grad student insurance package and get my share of free doctoring. Oh, they fixed me up just fine, and provided me with a (free) sling for my wounded wing -- with -- AMERICAN FLAGS PRINTED ON IT! Suddenly it was funny again. In the laughing-to-keep-from-crying sense.
I haven't done anything with this web page for ages, but I do have a bunch of ideas for relatively pointless but hopefully mildly amusing things to add. So keep coming back. AND SAY NO TO WAR.
Peace out,
Angie
th
awesome person to visit my page, now entering its, what, sixth year -- at least according to my perpetually-broken counter. I don't go to my own web page obsessively, but I have been checking the counter; today it says I am Visitor #2,057. Yesterday I was #51 and the day before it was in the hundred-thousands. But for what it's worth, there you go. And gee, this page is getting old, especially in Internet years. (You thought dog years went by quickly?) By squatter's rights this cyber-land is MINE!
Finally Here! "Dallas" and "Remarks," a poem and a Father's Day essay, about generations, gayness, and love, presented for the occassion, June 2002, at the UU Fellowship of Ligonier Valley, PA.
Coming Really Soon!: That is, just as soon as I'm done writing it -- The PERIOD POWER Manifesto!!! Yes, that long-awaited statement of revolutionary menstrual power. I'm sure you are just a-quiver with anticipation, and hopefully your yearnings and your patience will be rewarded in just a couple of weeks.
Coming Soon: "Historical Cuties" -- a gallery of photos of characters in American history who strike my fancy, and who I have decided are cute, either for personality or for, well, regular cuteness. If YOU have any Historical Cuties you would like me to recommend, please let me know!
Coming Someday in the Dim and Shadowy Future: It has long been a dream of mine to have a Camp Song Lyric Archive at this site, and I am really going to make an effort to realize this goal (or at least get a start on it) this summer. Right now I am bogged down in paper-writing and the biggest commitment I can manage is a statement of purpose like this one. But if you, too, want to see the Camp Song Lyric Archive become a reality, the best thing you can do is e-mail me your favorite camp lyrics! (Duh!) My address is, as always, at the bottom of this page.
Who Am I? Wouldn't you like to know? Follow this little link and find out.
(I killed the blog. Blogs are stupid. Well, I guess they're really not, I was just not very motivated about keeping it up. So it's gone. So sad.)
Quotes: THE QUOTE PAGE HAS EXPANDED! It is now not just A quote page, but quote pagES! And, of course, it is still a neat-o place to go for, uh, quotes (and a small & rather gratuitous rant).
Writings: These are some things I've written. (As though the rest of this page weren't made up of things I'd written. But you know what I mean.) Anyway, it's not much, but it's more than you want, or need, I'll wager.
Photos from San Sebastian and also one from Bilbao -- see the Basque country without even leaving your computer desk!
ETA (Infórmate, por favor): This is a list of web resources on the Basque terrorist organization ETA, which has recently declared the end of its truce, and a bit of a commentary from me. (I reserve that right, as Webmistress of this little corner of cyberspace, eh?)
Angie's Closet O' Links. Visit my links page, won't ya please? It's eclectic, I'll promise you that. Here you will find every link that's necessary for a happy and healthy life. Er ... well ... okay, I might me exaggerating, but only a little. This is the most random collection of super-cool links you are likely to find. If you know of any other Absolutely NecessAry Links (ANALs), please pass them on to me! My e-mail address is right down at the bottom there!
The List of Things that Suck Ever heard the expression, "On the list of things that suck, that's pretty high"? Well, we made so many references to this mythical yet nonexistant list that we falt the need to come up with an actual list. It's only partially complete, since Jen has the other half and doesn't know where it is.
Some Web Links So a long time ago ('98) I was reading Time magazine, and I come across this statistic that says 64% of Americans would ban same-sex marriages, and this made me mad enough to ... make a page of links so people can get more information. (And throw the magazine against the wall and have a fit, as I recall, but that is neither here nor there.)
Angie's Squirrel Adventure! A classic, some would say! This is one of my favorite true stories. Some neat pictures, too. Or read the squirrel story En Español!
The Great Hall of My Page. Whitmyre, the building where I used to live, has a great hall. This is my Great Hall. Here there be my small collection of morals, which almost make sense, and some other things on varying amounts of crack. (There is also a nifty wallpaper. The quotes, however, have MOVED. See above, but only if you really care.)
Photos. Want to see what we look like? No more broken picture of my now-dead fish! These are all people of various shapes & sizes, and they are all *cool* people, so there you go. (Yet, alas, once again the photos are sadly out of date. Angie needs a scanner.)
The First-Ever Movie Night Promo Archive! Okay, it's sort of a long story. But go to this page for an archive of glee, crack, and cinematic wisdom from Schnids. And the world needs this archive, too, because Schnids has gone away from IUP and Movie Nights are just a happy memory!
Links! (Or: Home of the one-and-only animated graphic on my web page! That is, except for the ones right here on this page ... yeah. Well it USED to be the only one.) I do have some friends. And they've got web pages. Visit them. They are cool. Ooka chaka ooka.
Or, you could send me e-mail! I would really love to hear from you. Though no one ever sends me e-mail from here, except two people when I had a Sifl and Ollie quote e-mailed me asking for Sifl and Ollie links, but that doesn't count. NOT that you care!
This page hosted by 
Get your own Free Home Page
![[ACLU Execution Watch Counter]](http://www.aclu.org/graphics/dpcounter.gif)